some stuff

I can't be bothered to think of titles for blog entries these days.

Went with family to Greenwood fish market today and had e.x.c.e.l.l.e.n.t. food. Of course my family is horrendously hard to please, and the inevitable complaint was that the soup was too salty. Nevertheless, relatively cheap and wonderfully good food hee. We almost went to Garibaldi, but since they only have the 56+++ Mother's Day set today, we left that for another day. :P

We also went to The Daily Scoop and got FOUR tubs of ice-cream. Unfortunately nobody likes my lime & black pepper ice-cream (T_T)

Am now imbibing red wine while blogging.

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If there's any piece of music that best represents le grand amour to me, it's the very appropriately named Salut d'Amour. I once heard that Elgar wrote that piece after meeting his fiancee for the first time, and really, it fits. I played this piece for one of my violin exams, but played it today on the piano. There is a tenderness and warmth and great, swelling passion that should sound cheesy but doesn't. It's really an extraordinarily beautiful piece that's easy to appreciate.

Ok, I tried to search on youtube for a good version that I could post here, but there're lots of atrocious versions up there, and those that are not atrocious, I don't quite like for reasons other than technique. So I shan't bother to put the video clips up, but shall provide links to you guys (who won't watch my videos anyway hmmpf).

This is Sarah Chang's --> http://youtube.com/watch?v=UqO7yuh8Wsg. Unfortunately I don't like her vibrato & slides (or whatever you call them).

This is Chee-Yun Kim's --> http://youtube.com/watch?v=uzCAhFfULtM. I've never heard of her before, but I think she's quite ok, except that certain parts of the piece that I imagine to be played deeper (I don't quite know how to explain this) she just plays through, so it's rather unsatisfying.

But Salut's a great piece and a good introduction to classical music, so those of you who don't usually listen, pls, just go ahead and listen to it. It's really very easy to listen to. *goes down on knees and begs*

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I think one of the reasons I love Heifetz is cos his playing has 'bite', you know. Your pulse races and yet it doesn't compromise the beauty of his piece. His playing is so exciting and passionate and yet so precise... urgh you see, I always sound like an idiot when I talk about music.



Oh come on, just watch it. And once you're done watching, pls, you can't tell me you haven't fallen in love with it. I'll just cry. I'll lose faith in humanity. I swear.

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I think ours is a very visual world. I just feel that ever since I've started on music and then on perfumes, whole new worlds have been opened to me.

You've no idea what I go through when I walk through Taka basement on a crowded weekend evening. First there's the smell of the food, which is enticing enough. Then there's the million perfumes everyone is wearing, a million reference points that I go sniffing after. A familiar scent there - where did I smell that before - a familar scent there - the perfume I bought my dad - and of course my own perfume. Add my mp3 to that, and you get a sensory explosion, and a thousand associations that come alive - a piece of music that reminds me of scenery somewhere else, or scenery conjured up by my own imagination, a scent that brings back memory of some long-forgotten event or person... really, a thousand things. It's as if my surroundings come with so many associations, they aren't really merely what they seem. And then sometimes the scent or music is so beautiful that my entire mind goes blank and I can't think of anything else, and I live entirely in the present, and the present is so beautiful...

Ok I'm so incoherent. I really don't know how to explain it, but it's all very lovely and wonderful, and I don't think I could get through a single day without music and perfume. *sigh* I've got the feeling I'll never really be able to tell you all how I feel, which is kind of sad and lonely. If only you guys could love the things I love... :(

I totally rock!

I knew my sister liked someone and that he liked her back even before he told her (& she accepted!) today. I even knew the name of the guy, and I haven't even met any of her friends.

I knew simply because I asked her an innocuous question & she answered (if there wasn't anything in the works she wouldn't have answered that question).

I've been going around the house for weeks telling everyone, but nobody believed me.

Hah! Don't believe me eh. Take that all of you! I rock! I am totally triumphant today.

Haha my woman's intuition is nearly 100% accurate one :P

David Cook - Billie ( Billy ) Jean

Love this beaucoup as well!

hello - david cook

This is an incredibly sexy version of this song. Watching American Idol results show now (ok I'm uncool), and I absolutely love his voice. When it comes to voices like his I'm a swooner :P

I'm also a youtube junkie...

A perfume rant

Yes I know you're probably entirely sick of hearing about perfumes.

It's kind of strange when my friends choke on the perfumes I totally love but will probably never possess. (My life's a tragedy.) Look, I'm not kidding myself. I know these perfumes don't smell like an 18 year old girl. They might be quite heavy-going, and might even smell old to some. But they're also wonderfully gorgeous and sophisticated, and if I was a tasteful, sophisticated socialite who does not flash her underwear of choice everytime she steps out of her door (or stays at home), I'd totally totally wear them.

I'm on this because yesterday, I re-smelled Sisley's Soir de Lune for the nth time, and today I'm so obssesed by this perfume, I'm sniffing at the blotter (is that what you call it?) like a drug addict. It's such a lovely perfume, and about the only rose perfume I've ever fallen hard for. I truly truly love it. I feel like a teenage girl pining for her crush who will never look her way and doesn't even notice her existence. Argh. Help me, I really need a bottle of that perfume. It's one of the first perfumes I fell in love with, but I never had the spending power to get it. (though admittedly if I'd saved some...)

Anyway, Soir de Lune is going into my wishlist. I know it's just fantastic wishful thinking to imagine that someone or myself would spend more than 200+ on a teeny bottle of perfume, but still. And it isn't even available at discounters! *wails* But it's such a beautiful scent, a deep deep rose that is oh so classic and tasteful. A scent you'd have to wear an evening gown for. Someone just kill me, I'm pining away... It's so frustrating to love something that you can't have! Damn it all!

*sigh*

All about music!

These are my go-to pieces nowadays, and I need more like them:



I. Need. Songs. Like. This. I got this from Juno and I absolutely love it. I love the feedback & 'white noise'. I just got a Velvet Underground CD which I've yet to listen closely to, but I liked the same thing about that CD (the white noise). I also love the very nocturnal and glamorous feel, but with a rock edge and a touch of decadence. Like I should be wearing a slinky dress and stilettos but also a leather jacket and chugging beers instead of champagne. It's unabashedly dramatic, but not, you know, melodramatic. (pls agree with me here)

I kind of like Sonic Youth, but with the exception of some of their albums, I'm just not hardcore enough for many of their songs. (this particular song is a cover, not an original composition) I seem to be leaning towards the pop spectrum of alternative rock. As long as it's not TOO pop. Still twiddling my fingers over whether to get one of their albums.

Oh ya, speaking of feedback, Jimi Hendrix:



Cool right? Got a Hendrix CD already.

Next up, Concerto No.2 Rachmaninoff. I can't remember if I've posted it here already. Actually, I listen to the Ashkenazy version (I hope that's how you spell his name), but I can't find his version on Youtube. I guess I'll just put up the only version on Youtube that sounds right to me (even though it's somewhat faster than the one I listen to), Rachmaninoff playing Rachmaninoff:



This piece is so stormy and so unapologetically beautiful! (T_T) (I often use unapologetically beautiful to describe a lot of classical pieces).

Oh, and Horowitz playing the 3rd movement of Moonlight Sonata:



This one really gets my adrenaline going, and it's about the only version of the 3rd movement that I like. I know most people like the 1st movement better (it's certainly more famous), but playing the 1st movement always makes me want to sleep.

Hmmm I also want to listen to Chopin's concertos.

I'm falling asleep in my chair :(

To love Rachmaninoff

I've fallen hopelessly in love with Rachmaninoff and am feeling very shame-faced about it. It's like admitting in public that you love Nietzsche (ahem). I don't know, Rachmaninoff is just so emotional and angsty and moody and dark that I feel quite the equivalent of a teenage emo-goth listening to him. I'm consoling myself that like Nietzsche, if you look hard & deep enough at Rachmaninoff you'll find that he transcends the popular image of him and is quite, quite divine. (Ok, that last line was pure smoke but anything to soothe my shattered self-image.)

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If you know me, you'll know that I'm absolutely addicted to getting pretty pics off the Interwebs.

via Zena Holloway:


I absolutely love this pic (you have to check out the site for more), and am even using this for my msn pic.

via Fashion Ivy:



I really love the shadows and light and the glamorous, vintage feel of these pics.




Hmmm I really like vintage, don't I? The last one seems a bit geisha like, perhaps because of the hair.


This one is just so pretty and flower-like.

Sadly, I've forgotten where I got these:



However, I do know it's one of the Dior haute couture collections. Love the geisha-inspired look. Especially love the 1st white origami dress. For some reason, it seems very dressed-up Princess Leia, no? (even though I'm no Star Wars fan)

I also like this from some Christian Lacroix collection:


It's so black widow with a twist. Especially love the 2nd one. Absolutely love that shade of blue.

Eeks ok, need to get back to work.

rumination

Yay my wireless is up. The day after I got my laptop back from repairs my wireless crashed. (T_T)

Anywayz, I've got a whole backlog of things to blog about. Actually I had two backlogs but I forgot half of it already.

First of all, I'm sorry, I love perfume reviews, but this is just funny: "The perfume conveys its, if you will, French style or Chanel world-view through its intuition for pure lines - like a French window, a French garden - in its sense of refined, controlled, balanced and clear, Cartesian elegance. At the same time there is to be found a sense of Baudelairean voyage to the perfume..."

I beg your pardon? Cartesian elegance and Baudelairean voyage? Are we really talking about a perfume here?

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I've just returned from a play that I got to watch courtesy of some very nice people, and that I HAD to watch and had to watch ALONE courtesy of LSB. It wasn't very good and tickets went at a whopping 50bucks (I had free tickets, else I wouldn't have stepped into the place.), but it was for charity. I guess it's only for charity that you're allowed to put up a lousy performance, over-charge people for it and THEN receive thunderous applause. Hmmpf. The last time I was in that theatre, I'd paid less than 20bucks (I think) to watch an excellent AND thought-provoking AND creative production of Hamlet, so damn charity.

I don't know, I didn't like the acting, it was all very stiff and self-conscious. I also didn't like the cannot-make-it fake accents, though it might have been some kind of voice-projecting technique that they teach. But it grates on my ears to hear kids with a very pronounced Singaporean accent labour over a snooty Brit accent.

Even the play was rather didactic (it was J.B. Priestley's An Inspector Calls), and all the moralising got tiring after a while. The plot was totally predictable except for the end, but then again I thought the final twist was kind of cheap. I was actually wondering how the playwright could possibly end the play given the way the plot was going (do NOT watch plays under the influence of LSB), and I guess this seemed like the only way. But still! cheap!

Oh yeah, it didn't help that throughout the first half of the play I kept smelling something very very familiar and I kept getting distracted by the smell, trying to find out where it was coming from and why it smelt so familiar. I solved the first - I'd let a stranger rub lotion on my hand (scandalous!) before watching the play. But the second... no answer yet. It's like that time I kept thinking a perfume smelled really familiar but couldn't place it until my mum came along and told me it smelled like the hair gel my dad used like, ten years ago.

Really, you guys should see me on the MRT to work. I'm like totally sniffing at people's armpits all the time cos there're too many perfumes wafting around the carriage. Drives me crazy!

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Nowadays I've been thinking about male butts. Not in a dirty way! And not just the male derriere in general, but a certain species of guy bottoms. The ones that are exceedingly feminine. It just disturbs me that some male butts possess a distinctly child-bearing silhouette. I'm not talking about perky butts or tiny butts. I'm talking male butts with an overwhelmingly womanly, almost maternal curve. They disturb me. They truly do.

And I know you're totally not interested in this, but nope, LSB does NOT possess of a feminine butt. After more than 3 years of careful observation, I can most confidently proclaim that LSB's butt is safely in the masculine-male genus. I know, I know you don't want to hear me talk about LSB's butt, and the above-mentioned butt is probably writhing with sheer embarrassment in its seat as the attached eyes and brains process the undeniable fact that I'm talking about said butt on a public blog. Too bad, I say.

[Deity of choice] help me should this blog fall into the wrong hands.

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I read a BBC article about this academic who makes the stunning argument that people love their ipod so much because it helps them assert control over their environment. (can't find article now) Is it just me or is that idea not terribly new? I'd assumed everyone knew that already. Perhaps I'm just brilliant? Oh what am I saying, of course I am.

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Ok that's it. I forgot what else I had to say. Besides, work tomorrow!

laptop up & running!

Yay my darling laptop has returned to my loving embrace!

I'm not supposed to be up at this time, but I took a half-day today and slept the years of my life away.

Critical Theorist: You're being oppressed!

Poor sot: But I'm not.

CT: You only think you're not, but actually you feel oppressed and miserable.

PS: But I don't feel oppressed and miserable. I'm quite happy.

CT: You're so oppressed that you don't even know it!

This is why I love crit theorists, you just can't beat them. If you're a glass half empty kind of person, they'd probably tell you either: 1) the glass belongs to someone else anyway, you don't even have a glass, so why are you being so darn cheerful?, or 2) you're so oppressed that you're thinking about glasses when you should be thinking about subverting the hegemonic order.

This is one of my favourites from Mayday:

約翰藍儂
作詞：瑪莎/阿信　作曲：怪獸　編曲：五月天

那年冬天 子彈　它給了你自由
沒了　軀殼　就活在人們心中
看著　今天　你會笑還是會搖頭

整個世界　曾經　都跟著你作夢
如今和平　依然在歌曲裡頭
猜忌　戰火　還跟著我一起生活

能不能暫時把你的勇氣給我　在夢想快消失的時候
讓我的歌　用力的穿過天空　為我愛的人做一秒英雄

一顆紅豆　為何　想單挑這宇宙
都要　怪你　在我心中播了種
一把　吉他　就想對抗萬千炮火

玩著遊戲　出糗　喧鬧的攝影棚
怪獸　石頭　默默的吐在廁所
OK 再來　要世界為我們感動

能不能暫時把你的勇氣給我　在夢想快消失的時候
讓我的歌　用力的穿過天空　為我愛的人做一秒英雄

能不能暫時把你的夢想給我　在勇氣快消失的時候
總有一天　要人們叫我披頭　最後沒成功　也做過最美的夢

This song (especially this line: 一把　吉他　就想對抗萬千炮火) always reminds me of this iconic picture from late 1960s America with young protesters (students?) placing flowers in soldiers' gun barrels. Yeah, google it yourself if you're interested. I've learnt the hard, bitter way that no one ever follows my links or watches the videos I painstakingly put up. I'm a bitter, bitter person.

Hmmm I actually haven't listened to Mayday for a long time because I've been totally seduced and won over by Rachmaninoff's angsty brooding artist image. I was walking to work this morning when the sky grew ominously overcast and the wind whipped my now-rebonded (oh didn't I tell you?) hair around my face. And guess what? I was listening to Rachmaninoff and suddenly, the whole world made sense.

Just stay single.

I came online sacrificing essential work sleep because I forgot to blog about the most important discovery of the weekend!

*clears throat*

After 3+ years of dating, LSB STILL does not know my birthday!

Yes, I know, classic LSB, always making a girl feel like a million bucks.

Yeah, anyway, it's not like he remembers anyone's birthday, right? Oh... oops. Well you see, it turns out he DOES remember other people's birthdays and... let's just say I sincerely hope she rots in hell.

I also liked the way he told me to (this was after I waited THREE hours to meet him. after work.) deal with my emotions cos it was putting lots of pressure on him. Congratulate me, I got the most caring boyfriend in the world! Really, my happiness is top priority for him.

What more could a girl ask for?

2nd week update

Hohoho this is getting to be a weekly thing. I actually don't know what to say, but I feel compelled not to ignore this blog, if only to preserve the little bit of personal space (can only tiptoe in here) left to me.

I bought a Jim Hendrix CD (diversification, diversification... you should know this by now), and it sounds pretty cool. At first I wanted to buy a 12.95 CD, but in the end decided that spending 7bucks more for sound quality is worth it (these days I always test my CDs before buying).

I was very tempted by a Sex Pistols CD because the cover looked SO cool, and I have a major crush on them even though I think their music sucks like crazy.

I was also VERY VERY tempted by a box-set of Beethoven's symphonies by Berlin Philharmonic, but I don't have 250bucks to spare. Once I get my pay though... (everything's hanging on the pay huh)

I've also been watching endless episodes of Scrubs, having gotten a one month rental membership at Gramaphone (just trying it out).

As for work... it could be better, could be worse. I'm just not quite used to feeling as incompetent as I am nowadays. I keep feeling I can't say too much about work on the interwebs, so that's as much as you're gonna get till I feel comfortable about saying more.

I've also spent the whole of this weekend sleeping. And watching Scrubs. And I'm visiting Ichiban much too often :P

This week

I don't even know where to start. It's like the earth shifted its position in the universe and is now located at 31B Rhododendron Ave, Kansas City. Ya anyway, so my life is completely different from the week before. I dress different, I talk different, I'm engaged in entirely different activities. I even wake up at a different time. (the shift in time zones is most disorienting.)

So I've been whining to LSB, and I've been experiencing for myself the great Venus-Mars divide that everyone talks about. LSB keeps giving me advice and telling me not to go to work in a monochromatic gothic clown-suit, making silently mournful but very obscene gestures at passers-by. And then I'm like, du-uh I know that already, whoever said I need your advice? And LSB goes, so why are you telling me all this? *sighz*

I never thought I'd say this, but TGIF.

Colbie Caillat - Bubbly ( With lyrics)

Yay new LSB song!

From the CNA site

This is a screenshot from the Channel NewsAsia site. I was highly amused to see the un-PCness of the Google ad (highlighted in yellow):



Yes, teaching you how to attract girls in Singapore! Tested and proven methods! (click image to enlarge. you probably know this, but you know... just in case you're er, me.)

Many thanks to A/G for teaching tech-idiot me how to get a screenshot!

Music

So the music diversification programme is in full swing.

After exploring the Sex Pistols & some folk music, I went on to take a look at Velvet Underground. I don't particularly like the recordings with Nico, her voice grates on me for some reason. But the song I actually quite like is this somewhat NC-16, not particularly safe for work song:



I was at HMV the other day, and seriously considered buying their CD, but resisted the temptation to splurge. But I did feel quite superior, looking for Velvet Underground CDs instead of whatever people like to listen to nowadays. Hilary Duff or something. Then I went up to the Asian music section and started looking for a couple of bands Kobe Girl's (hehehe) colleague recommended, as well as Dir en Grey CDs, which my sis introduced to me a couple of years ago. Again, feeling superior to people looking for Ayumi. Think my cool factor just increased exponentially.

Anyway, I successfully stopped myself from buying anything till I hit the classical section, at which point I simply died and went to Waterloo. I came across a CD by Heifetz with Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto D major and Mendelssohn's Concerto E minor, and I was totally like, girl you can't buy this, it's 26 good bucks and don't you have that Mendelssohn (albeit played by Joshua Bell) already? But I was also like, hey it's Heifetz and didn't I save myself hundreds of dollars by NOT buying all those previous CDs? In any case let's get a listen to this CD. And then I was like, damn this is good stuff, but maybe I can get the Itzhak Perlman version of the Tchaikovsky at 21 bucks, so let's listen to that as well. And then I was like, damn I don't like the Perlman version as much as Heifetz's. So in the end I was like, if the Heifetz version is better than the Perlman version, that's saying something, so I have no choice to get it. Seriously man, the exigencies of this world compel me to buy this CD.

And that's how I broke my no extraneous purchases rule. Not in the rock n roll or Japanese music section, but in the good ol' Classical & Jazz section. As usual. Which just shows that diversify as much as you want, there are some things that you can't diversify away from.

I don't think my music classes taught me how to play my instruments well, but they certainly taught me to love music, and that's good enough for me. And now I'm feeling really sick, which doesn't have anything to do with music or music classes, but has a lot to do with sniffing and tissue and general grossness. Shall spare you guys from that.

The Sex Pistols

I've been checking out the Sex Pistols because, well, of a manga/anime that I'm too embarrassed to admit I like. Let's face it, their music gives me a huge headache, and all that jumping around doesn't help. But they're really incredibly entertaining. I've become a big fan of Youtube interviews of John Lydon (Johnny Rotten) who's still alive and kicking as far as I can tell.

This is him in 1987:



And trust me, when he said he'd mellowed, he wasn't kidding man.

This is 1980:



That's the 1st part of that interview, you can poke around Youtube and I'm sure you can discover part 2 on your own.

Amazing that red hair and a pasty, skinny face could be so cool. And if you accept his premises, his attitude and actions are actually understandable and acceptable. Then again, if you accept their premises, anyone's actions could become acceptable. (kill the Jews anyone?) But not just anyone could pull it off with such incredible coolness. *squeals and attains fangirl status*

dulcimer = yangqin

Oh pity my ignorant soul!

I watched this youtube video (below), and was shocked to my socks (even though I'm not wearing any now, not having progressed so far in age that I'm wearing socks. in the tropics. at home. in the middle of the night. while typing at my comp.) that the dulcimer in the video looked totally like a yangqin to me.



I'd always known a dulcimer was some sort of medieval instrument, always thought it was English, always thought it was somewhat guitar-like. Bless me poor soul, I was actually thinking Appalachian dulcimer (thank goodness for Wikipedia). The HAMMERED dulcimer is totally different, and apparently the yangqin (according to Wikipedia again) is (probably) an imported Persian dulcimer. (so not all dulcimers are English then)



I've always been impressed by the yangqin, largely because it looks as if you need ultra-good eyesight and super-fast hands to play it. I've also been fascinated by traditional Chinese music (yet another topic I'm totally ignorant about dammit). I'd love to learn more, and even better, to learn how to play a Chinese instrument, but woe is me, I don't think I'll ever get around to it. *sigh* I really want to learn the guzheng (along with a million other things).



I really love the 'voice' (I can't think of another word) of the guzheng. Here I'm especially looking at the way you can control the sounding of the notes. (ok, I really really don't know anything about the guzheng, and I don't know whether anyone understands what I'm saying, but this is what I like, and I'm saying it in the only way I know how, so suck it up.)

I've been looking at a lot of Celtic songs and forums (because somehow when you're searching for folk songs online you end up smack in the middle of Celtic land) and the orientation tends to be nationalist. While I have no problem with the nationalism, and in fact, think the national history (myth or otherwise) contributes to the appeal of the music, it also saddens me that along with the nationalism comes a lot of xenophobia and tonnes of flaming.

Wild Mountain Thyme

Mudcat Cafe reminded me of this old song. Love this! Literally tears in your eyes stuff...

I found it!

Yes! I finally managed to dredge from my memory some keywords to search on google and I found the folksy forum again! (see links The Mudcat Cafe) Yes! *punches fist triumphantly in air*

Blog updates

Yay I updated my links to more accurately reflect my interests/what I like to read these days. I don't read all the sites I've linked to often, but that's because some of them aren't updated very often. And it says something about them that I love them anyway.

Also, I thought of categorizing my links, but I don't have enough links for that to be meaningful, and besides, I've no idea what categories to use. For example, what would PingMag go under? Curiosities? Social commentary? For fun? Other important things to know?

You guys would have noticed the Cute Overload plague has extended to the links. And my not so recent perfume obsession has also infected the blogroll. (Yup those are the perfume blogs I get inspiration from. I don't always agree with them, but dammit, they get most of it right. Plus the writing is usually beautiful.)

I also have to make special mention of the links to music sites Musicovery & Classical Music Archives. Follow those links! These sites are, if I may say so, bloody good. I used to go to two wonderful music forums, one focused on really obscure folk music, the other focused on your 'sound engineering'/electronic type of music. Yes, both aren't my type of music, but maybe that's why I was so fascinated by them. It's like peering into an alien mind in a good (and non-gooey) way. I loved the slightly kooky music-crazed people on those forums... They had such knowledge of their music, and many of them were musicians. The folk music forum especially, had musicians who played in pubs etc, and it was such fun reading about their performances. I also loved all those anecdotes about never-heard-before folk songs that they all seemed to know. The electronic music forum seemed pretty northwest Europe, and loads of cool people who are amazing tech-savvy as well hehe. Unfortunately I've lost both sites and can't find them again! *cries*

Also *ahem* I've updated my wish list. Just pointing out. I'm becoming a big fan of Hermes perfumes, and I'm sure if I sniffed Kelly Caleche I'd fall in love with it as well. But I'm trying not to because it's someone's *ahem* signature scent. So help me God.

Have I mentioned I love Nodame Cantabile? Like, really really love?

To the relevant authorities,

From icanhascheezburger

Hehehe. Me cute.

I hate the cold

I wonder if some part of me retains the memory of when I, believing myself a tropical baby to be born in some warm equatorial country, popped out and discovered Scottish weather. I think that might have been when I started screaming 'let me back in!' but everyone ignored me :(

That sounds a lot like today (yesterday). Ah, to be kicked mercilessly out of a nice warm sleepy bed into the freezing night, what heartbreak! Oh cruel world! But I also got LSB to plaster my paper-cut finger, so I got a Taiwanese drama moment out of today. *giggles madly*

I hate the cold and the endless rain. It makes everything damp and miserable and, of course, cold.

Warning: needs holiday

One of the HR people suggested I take a holiday before I started work. *sighz*

These days I've been feeling as if Life As I Know It is going to end forever, which is probably a close approximation of the truth.

Regrets

I'm being unusually open today, am I not?

Ran into my ex-lecturer in school today, and he alerted me to the publication of his article (I was one of his research assistants). So of course I looked it up and scanned through it. Coincidentally enough, today was a big day for me (more on that later, hopefully), and I also had a conversation with LSB on a related topic (related to what I'm going to blog about, of course).

Some time ago, a friend asked me whether I regretted not going to LSE. I told her no, but the truth is, at times I do regret it. Reading through my prof's article, I suddenly really really wished I was still on track to becoming someone like him, someone who could write an article like this.

A few days ago another friend commented I have very low self-esteem when it comes to my academic essays because I never think they're any good. I retorted that it was because I have high standards, and don't kill me but it's true. I was, on hindsight, a very competitive student except that I never competed with my peers. I always compared my essays (those that I cared about anyway) to my profs' essays, and of course my essays always failed miserably in my eyes. In all my years in university, I've never written an essay that I'm satisfied with. No, not a single one. I do believe that somewhere in my head there's an image of what a good essay should be like, an essay with perfection so abstract that I cannot actually say what it would be like, except that I've never written one.

My impossible standards and resulting dissatisfaction with myself made for a very neurotic, insecure academic me. I think that as a result, my life in university was a very stressful, emotional one, being always mired in angst and insecurity. I didn't care what anyone told me, didn't care what the grades indicated. To me I was never good enough, and if I got good grades/compliments that made it worse because I felt like a pretender. I never deserved any of it.

Back to the point.

I think that somewhere in my very screwed up mind, I still want to compare myself with my profs, and I still want to be my profs. So do I regret my departure from academia? Some times more than others. Tonight the regret is especially acute.

But I do think that I need something besides the standards of academia with which to measure myself. I do think that I need to experience something outside of academia, face new challenges to prove myself to myself. I also think that the hordes of people who've just assumed that I was going into academia have pissed me off with their assumptions so much that I simply decided to flip them the finger and do something else. (kidding!) More importantly, I have other goals very important and very dear to me that could be served better by a non-academic route.

I'm hoping, really hoping, that what I've done pays off, that I didn't make yet another bad decision by opting out. I've got a bad feeling that in a few years, nay, in a few months, I'll be taking back every single word of this post. But I've got another bad feeling that it won't be the first time and it won't be the last, and life in general is like that and sucks very badly.

Goodness, I do regret it tonight. But there's a price to be paid for every decision, and I hope that regret is the heaviest cost of this decision. I'll cross my fingers, hope for the best, and live with the regret.

tired

Argh I'm too tired and brain-dead to work... I don't even know what I'm doing. I didn't quite realise how tired I was yesterday until I woke at 4am to find that I'd fallen asleep on the sofa. Come to think of it, that's something I haven't done for a long long time.

Anyway, read something that made me think. I'd like to think that I'm not someone who angers easily, but I do remember a few instances when I felt that very sharp bite of instant anger.

One instance was back in my student days, doing project work for a module. There were 4 of us, and only one girl was familiar with the topic we were working on (and it wasn't me). Let's call her X. We decided to split the presentation because we were given a couple of questions to answer, and since we were given an individual in addition to a group grade, no one wanted to take the difficult question. Therefore me being me, I took it. X, who knew the topic best, took the easiest question. Grabbed it before any of us could indicate our preferences.

Night before presentation. The other 2 girls were panicking because they didn't understand their questions, and X couldn't be contacted. Then they somehow got the idea that I was the best person to ask, and therefore I stayed up all night helping them with their questions when I wasn't even sure how to answer my own. I actually started on my own answer only AFTER I'd helped them out.

Day of presentation, everything went fine, except that the lecturer pointed out some gaps in my answer.

End of presentation, X came up to me and commented 'You didn't do very well on that did you?'

I rarely flare up, but I really really wanted to wring her neck back then. She had chosen the easiest question even though she was best qualified to take the hardest. She didn't help any of us at all, caring only about her own part. I would understand if her grades were suffering and she desperately needed to pull them up, but no, she was a Dean's Lister. Most of all, her tone of utter bitchiness, and the way she looking down her nose at me. Plain, unjustifiable bitchiness.

So after a moment of absolute stillness, I glared at her, raised one eyebrow and said 'Oh?' That was as far as it got, because the other two girls stepped in to defuse the situation. I can only imagine how tense the situation must have looked to the other two. And no, no apology or explanations or questions from X. She just walked away.

I don't think most of my friends have seen me being confrontational, largely because I'm not usually like that. Usually people just fail to offend me because I tend to assume there're some extenuating circumstances that could justify people's behaviour. Which, I feel, is the best way to live. But the few instances where I got really angry, I remember them with startling clarity, and I can't remember them without feeling horridly angry all over again. (LSB will probably know of one other incident that had a lot to do with the person I am now.) I guess I'm not the sort to forgive and forget?

*moment of introspection* I guess it's something I have to work on. *sighz*

Pugs can talk!

via Cute Overload.

Argh I wish I'd thought of teaching my dog how to talk.

They don't make playwrights like they used to

So I read LSB's newest creation. Yes, I know it sounds like we should have been sitting on the grassy banks of a drowsy river where he nervously presents me with a bundle of ink-stained paper and stares intently and lovingly at my face with meltingly intense brown eyes, waiting for my reaction. But actually, we were both working on our laptops, I was playing with his stuff and saw it, and he was like, you can look at it if you want, and then continued doing his work. He was complaining on Sunday that he felt like writing a play instead of doing work, so I suppose he must have written it then. (And no, he NEVER says 'I feel like taking a romantic walk at the seaside with you instead of doing work.')

Yes it sucks.

You know, from time to time I used to bug LSB to write for me, back in the days when I foolishly daydreamed of being a muse for a handsome brooding artist. (I watched Shakespeare in Love recently.) I've given up on that, having figured that if I ever appeared in an LSB play, it'd be of the taming of the shrew instead of the what-light-through-yonder-window-shines variety. As a matter of fact, I paused reading halfway, stared daggers at him and commented that he seemed to be a man of many grievances.

(An aside: My Lit teacher in secondary school once mentioned that she'd like the lines 'Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear' on her tombstone. I'm totally stealing her idea.)

While reading LSB's creation, I heard this song immediately:

As Time Goes By
You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is still a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

And when two lovers woo
They still say I love you
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by

Moonlight and love songs, never out of date
Hearts full of passion, jealousy and hate
Woman needs man, and man must have his mate
That no one can deny

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

Here's looking at you kid.

Sober

Construction crane topples over at NUS, killing 3 men

It was really really sobering and saddening to know that while I was doing my work, just a 10mins' walk away, 3 men were dying.

For some reason, the moment I heard about it, I thought of this poem by Rupert Brooke. I don't really know why; it doesn't really fit. But I suppose it's because of the connection between death and soil (construction site), and perhaps, death far away from home.

The Soldier
If I should die, think only this of me:
That there's some corner of a foreign field
That is forever England. There shall be
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed;
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware,
Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam;
A body of England's, breathing English air,
Washed by the rivers, blessed by suns of home.
And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.

I guess in sovereignty-conscious Singapore this is the only way we willingly yield land to other people huh. Yay for the Youth Olympics. (which, incidentally, is top CNA Singapore story, much more important than other, less significant events)

Bleaugh being irrational :P

Beagle Puppy at 3 weeks

*dies of cuteness*

Oh and for you philistines who don't like dogs, there's a very watchable human (male) in there too ;)

romance

I was reading one of the many perfume blogs out there (oh come on, I haven't done that in ages!), and came across the most romantic lines in the entire universe.

Colombina might argue that until her, I did not know how to make the connection between fragrance and romance, owing to my limited understanding of fragrance.

I would counter by saying that until her, I did not know how to make the connection between fragrance and romance, owing to my limited understanding of romance.

The most I got out of LSB this V-Day was 'I wanted to buy you flowers, but I thought you were carrying too much stuff already.' At which point I pointedly expressed my disbelief that there could be any inclination on his part to buy me des fleurs. There's romance, and then there's romance.

Hmmm do you suppose there's any chance I could get LSB to start wearing perfume?

do you think i could normalise relations with them?

I shall never be cheapskate when it comes to cosmetics again.

I've had to use lipstick quite often in the past 2 weeks, and having airily dismissed magazines that tell you you're supposed to dump your cosmetics after a few months, I DIDN'T throw my lipsticks away, and instead, went ahead and covered my lips with coloured goo. Coloured goo that has been stuck in my drawer for months, probably a year even, giving the multitudes of bacteria plenty of time to have hot bacteria sex and have many many many bacteria babies. And then these babies went to school and learnt all their lessons well, and so they're now helping their bacteria mummies and daddies build a bacteria kingdom (get this straight) ON MY LIPS.

My lips have been drying up for days, and my arsenal of lip balms is making no difference at all. I have 1 tube of Kiehl's, 1 stick of Palmer's & 1 tub of Body Shop lip butter. When I've been desperate (recent development), I use all 3 at once. Impressive weaponry right? but useless against them bacteria. They are my little (read: microscopic) Cuba. I swear I might just have to nuke my lips to be free of them.

Ooh and don't my lips sound kissable?

my love affair

Despite it being 2am on V-Day (I'll always remember my JC lit teacher being horrified by people wishing each other 'Happy VD'), I'm going to talk about the BBC and my piano instead of darling LSB.

This morning I had an excellent piano practice. It's still 3rd movement, Moonlight, but this time even though I still made tonnes of mistakes, everything clicked. Notes became textures instead of timekeepers, crescendos became exhilaration instead of volume, the speed was easily mastered and at that speed, somehow all the 'singing' of the melody made sense. Excellent stuff. But I was so tired after that I went back to sleep for a few more hours before heading down to work. *sigh*

Also, my love affair with the BBC has been a long-lasting one. How can anyone resist the BBC? They're so entertaining! I spend more time with the BBC than I do with LSB!

More from the BBC

Secret Jacobite ring to be sold

A ring used by Jacobite agents to identify themselves while carrying secret messages from Bonnie Prince Charlie has been put up for auction.

'Jesus' cosmetic row in Singapore

A leading retailer in Singapore has withdrawn a cosmetics range with a Jesus theme after complaints from local Roman Catholics, local media report.

The Great Interview Experiment - Interviewed by Monica

I also had the good fortune of being interviewed by Monica. I love being interviewed! Makes me feel like a star! *flounces* Read on, & even you guys who know me might learn a bit more about me ;)

QUESTION ONE:

Your blog posts date back to 2006. Where are you located? What event(s) or writer(s) inspired you to start blogging at http://justareed.blogspot.com ?

I'm from Singapore (currently in the library), and I've actually had many many blogs before my current one at justareed. I love blogging, but I tend to get sick of it very easily, so every few months I'll swear off blogging, and a few months later I'll start up again. I'm sort of surprised my current blog has lasted so long. As for inspiration, I don't think there's any specific event/writer that influenced me. I just found out this was possible and started. I mean, be able to tell everyone what I think of them and their dog? Excellent! Also, I find my blog very useful because it allows me to talk about random/amusing (to me) stuff that I want to share with my friends at their reading leisure. Plus it's a good place to rant.

QUESTION TWO:

Can you explain what your poetic tagline means to you and when did you create it? "The true gods sigh for the cost and pain, For the reed which grows nevermore again, As a reed with the reeds in the river."

I didn't come up with that, so I'd better not claim credit! It's taken from a poem by Elizabeth Browning (http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/839.html), as is the title of my blog 'Making a poet out of man' (although in Browning's poem it's 'making a poet out of A man'.)

Browning's poem is about the god Pan, who takes a reed out of the river and turns it into a musical instrument. I'm not too good at literary criticism, so I'll just stick to my very subjective interpretation of these lines. I guess they express my sentiments on humanity and religion and self-expression. The pain of a human living and dying to express the beauty/goodness of God is too high a price to pay, and I cannot reconcile this with my image of a 'true god'. To me, a true god should be one who allows each individual to live for his own purpose, amongst his own people. I've titled my blog 'Making a Poet Out of Man' because I believe that it is not up to any god to make a poet out of man; it is up to us (and our writings) to express our humanity and our poetry and our beauty, making poets out of us all. (no offence to anyone I hope!)

QUESTION THREE:

Your recent blog posts discuss your frustration and boredom, as a NUS student at your local library. What are you working on, at the library?

Actually, I'm not an NUS student anymore! I've graduated, and am looking for a job. I've been looking through Singapore's parliamentary debates since 1955 (thankfully we're a young country), but I'm a bit uncomfortable with revealing my research topic and the reason for my research, so I'll just leave it at that. :P

QUESTION FOUR:

How much more time do you have to be imprisoned at the library? Do you have an escape plan?

I foresee I'll be stuck here till the end of Feb at the very least! In the meantime I've concocted dozens of escape plans, including burning down the library, overthrowing the government and encouraging riots on the streets so I can't come to the library and therefore have a perfect excuse not to work, murdering everyone who's chasing me for the work. On the other hand, I could just finish my work and never have to return here anymore!

QUESTION FIVE:

Your blog shows a cute video of a panda toaster. Do you have your own panda toaster? If yes, how often do you use it?

No, unfortunately I don't have one!

QUESTION SIX:

How much longer will you be a student? What are your career plans?

As I've said above, I'm no longer a student. As for career plans, I'm still working on them. ;)

QUESTION SEVEN:

Regarding your blog post titled 'insecurity'; have you finished that chocolate bar in your fridge? Have you snagged a friend that shares their chocolate bars with you?

I've finished the chocolate bar that WAS in my fridge when I was writing that post, but now TWO more chocolate bars have magically appeared inside! I don't know how this happens! Well, actually I do. My friend was in Berlin and bought two chocolate bars for me... I don't know if that counts as sharing since she gave me the whole lot, but from now on those chocolate bars are mine! And I don't share my chocolate! Mine! *hugs chocolate protectively*

QUESTION EIGHT:

I read your funny blog post titled 'Bimbotic post - shoes and dresses'. Have you found yourself a new pair of flats, other than your pink crocs? What are your favorite places to shop for bimbotic dresses and shoes?

Most unfortunately I'm wearing my pink crocs now and the shoes clash horribly with the rest of my outfit, but I'm in a rut and am lugging my ultra-heavy laptop around today, so comfort trumps fashion sense.

Ah, if you ever visit Singapore, there's mall called Far East Plaza. Loads of little stores selling cheap and trendy stuff. Beware though, goods are not always the epitome of quality and sizes are limited!

QUESTION NINE:

You state that you have a mood for every food on your blog. What mood / food combination are you with today?

Let's see... It's almost dinner, I'm in the library, I'm probably going to have to settle for fast food... so I want Japanese food! I'd love some sashimi and miso soup please! (I tend to want food that I can't have.)

QUESTION TEN:

What were your New Year Resolutions for 2008? How are your resolutions working for you so far?

I've got plenty of resolutions! They include:
1. I need a healthier lifestyle. Until 2 weeks ago, I hadn't exercised regularly in 4 years!
2. Moratorium on shopping.
3. Better budgeting.
4. I want to continue learning french, to practise my piano and violin regularly, and to take up art classes.
5. End my delusions of grandeur.

Unfortunately, except for 2 & 3, I'm not being particularly consistent.

QUESTION ELEVEN:

Your blog post states that your favorite childhood memory is of sitting in a car at night with your parents driving through Malaysia. What kind of car was it (big, small, new, old)? Who was driving? Were you driving through a countryside scene or busy city streets? What language was everyone speaking? What was the starting point, destination, and reason for the drive?

We drive to Malaysia very often because our extended family is there and we go visiting during the holidays. While us kids (there're 4 of us) grew up in Singapore, we came from Malaysia and still retain our citizenship. Unfortunately, because we grew up in Singapore and are Chinese, we don't know Malay and therefore speak mainly English and Mandarin.

Most of our car journeys to Malaysia take us along the expressway through huge swathes of the country, so most of the journey is through the countryside - jungles, plantations, mountains. I grew up in Singapore, which is all city and no countryside, so I love it when we drive through the rural areas in Malaysia at night. I love seeing a vast expanse of sky not blocked by buildings and stars that aren't dimmed by streetlights. My mum is used to these sights and calls us city-kids.

My family car has changed a couple of times. In the past it was a 5-seater, but now that the kids (there're 4 of us) have all grown up, we've changed to a 7-seater. My parents do ALL the driving!

QUESTION TWELVE:

Your blog states that your favorite day is Sunday. What is a typical Sunday like for you? What do you do on Sundays, that is differant than other days?

I like Sunday a lot because when I was young, all the exciting family outings happened on Sunday! We would go to the zoo or the park, and all the school homework would be left till after the outing (bad habit). Even though this is not the case now, and my family only does boring things like going out for dinner, Sunday retains that special aura. My Sundays aren't that different from the other days, but I still feel as if I have permission to neglect my work in favour of more exciting things. :P

QUESTION THIRTEEN:

Do you have a toy dog? Did you really name him StarBucks McCigarettes or StarBucks McCiggy? (many more questions, depending on your answer :)

Yes, I do have a toy dog. My boyfriend likes to give me toys (probably because they're cheaper than diamonds), and this was a present he got me while he was in Bangkok. I've named the dog Starbucks McCiggy despite objections from all quarters, and my boyfriend mutters under his breath everytime the offending name is mentioned. If only he knew that his very amusing reaction is the main reason for the name. ;)

QUESTION FOURTEEN:

Regarding your post about your 'X-Men Dreams', what superpowers do you wish for? What would you enjoy doing the most with your super powers? Can you think of any reason your new superpowers might get in the way of your current lifestyle?

I'd love to be able to teleport myself to anywhere in the world (saves me the airfare). I'd become a perpetual tourist, but I don't think I'd get any work done.

QUESTION FIFTEEN:

Who is your hero today? Who was your hero, when you were a young child?

When I was young I really idolized Sherlock Holmes (ok this is slightly embarrassing) because he was really cool and could probably do all my homework for me. Nowadays my inflated opinion of myself gets in the way of putting people on a pedestal because nobody's great enough to be my hero. Kidding! I just don't think much about it, but I bet there are plenty of heroic/great people around. But if I had to choose, I'd have to say my parents. They've given me everything that I need, and if I ever win an Oscar I'd definitely mention them in my speech!

QUESTION SIXTEEN:

What languages do you study, speak, and write?

I speak and write English and Mandarin. I speak a bit of Cantonese (a Chinese dialect), and I'm learning French. I hope to learn Japanese too, but methinks I'm getting a bit ambitious.

QUESTION SEVENTEEN:

Have you been able to identify the 'watchacallit' that you discuss in your blog post titled 'violin results'?

Not at all. I think it has something to do with chords.... (my violin teacher'd have a fit if she knew)

QUESTION EIGHTEEN:

How long have you been playing the violin and piano? Do you play any other musical instruments?

I started learning the piano when I was 4 or 5, but stopped for a long while and picked it up when I was 10. As for the violin, I started when I was 20 while waiting to get into university. I don't play other instruments, but I think I'm going to remedy that.

QUESTION NINETEEN:

In your blog post titled 'am i that boring', you discuss the deep connection that you and a little doggy find, while you wait at a bus stop. Have you and that little doggy played with ringtones again, since your first meeting?

The dog has been somewhat elusive since then. I don't really know why he hasn't been contacting me. We had such a good thing going. Maybe he's a commitment-phobe.

QUESTION TWENTY:

Is to their anything else you would like to share? Do you have a funny joke to tell today?

I'm devoid of humour today, so I'd better not try making jokes. (actually I just can't think of a joke at the moment, but let's ignore that.) Feel free to email me more questions if my answers were incomprehensible/incomplete/obscure etc, or simply for fun. I hope my response wasn't too long! I enjoyed answering the questions, and I hope you have fun reading :)

-- end --

The Great Interview Experiment - Interviewing Kathleen

If you guys didn't know, a Great Interview Experiment has been conducted, and I'm a participant! (no, I'm not getting paid for it) I had the chance to interview Kathleen, someone with whom I felt a connection, especially in 2 ways - applications (given that I count myself among the ranks of the unemployed), albeit different types of applications, and grey hair. Read the interview below to find out more!

Interview with Kathleen

- Could you tell me more about yourself? Any personal
information/details you're willing to disclose? Where're
you're from? Are you working? As what? 

Anyone who reads my blog with any regularity will know the
answers to most of these questions.  I don't mean to
sound difficult at all here, but especially when so many
of my credentials are up for public scrutiny during my
review for admissions to law school, I don't really want
to link them all in to one googletastic answer.  Sorry.

- You seem to keep tabs on American politics quite a bit!
So here's the question: what's the most fascinating
thing about American politics, and why? (and is the
American media that bad?)

The short answer is - yes, most of the American Media *is*
that bad. There are exceptions, of course, but it's sad when
some of your most balanced "reporting" comes from fake news
shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

As for the most fascinating thing, I can't pick just one.
I have a firm believe that if you don't follow politics and
you don't vote, than you don't have a right to complain
about what's going on.  You don't have to have the same values
as me, but you do have to put your vote where your mouth is
and prove that you're "about" something.

- Why do you blog? Are there any downsides to blogging for
you? What do you think of blogging in general? Why is your
blog called 'Unsettled'?

Some days I ask myself this same question.  Especially in
the day and age of feed readers when so few people actually
click through and comments are more infrequent, you can feel
a little like no one cares. However, mostly I blog for me -
it serves as a snapshot to where I am in
my unsettled life as any given moment.  Besides the five
years of archives you can get here, I blogged before this at
another location and lost those archives a while back.

The only downside I see is that a while back I had a pain
in the ass sibling discover my site and thought it was a good
idea to send it to all my family.  So, what I write is sometimes
very censored because I know that one of my siblings or even
my almost seventy year old mother might read it.  That part
sucks because said sibling pretty much ruined the
no-holds-barred approach I had had to blogging before that.

Mostly I use it to just work stuff out or mark time.  The thing
about blogging is once you write about something, you can
always find someone who has gone through it as well so you
don't feel so lonely.  I do resent that there have been things
in my life that have happened to me that I would've like the
public feedback on that I couldn't talk about, but moving at
this point would be ridiculous.

> - You're applying to law school, so any hopes/expectations/
dreams? Any anxieties/fears?

This is answered pretty simply - I want to get in to law school
to, you know, be a lawyer.  : )

And, of course there are anxieties and fears.  Mainly, during
this time, it's "What if I don't get in where I want to?  Wait,
what if I don't get in anywhere!?!"  Then it'll be, "Will
school come as easily to me as it used to?"  "Will my fellow
students think I'm "old"?"  Insecurities, mostly.

The whole thing is just one giant stress ball in my neck right
now.

- I've got tonnes of grey hair too! And it's a pain to dye. Any
tips to share on covering 'em up or any miracle cures? :P

Unfortunately, no.  Believe me, I've tried everything!  And my
hair is red so that means touching up my roots EVERY TWO WEEKS.
It is an unbelievable pain in the ass.  Thanks genetics!

- You were once a competitive skater? I play music, but I have
major nerves whenever I have to play in public. Did you ever get
stage fright before a competition, and if you did, how did you
overcome it (or not)?

You know what, I really never did.  I think I started so young
(at five) that it never occurred to me be nervous.

I'm much more of a basket case as an adult.  The beauty of that
timing is, however, that now I know all about the beauty and
wonder that is bourbon.  Best stage fright blaster ever!

- If you had the choice of any holiday destination, where would
you go and why?

Depends on the season.

Right now I'm in the middle of a New England winter so I want
nothing more than to fly to a beach somewhere, sit under an
umbrella, and have cute cabana boys fetch me fruity, girlie
frozen drinks.  Instead, I'm off to DC at the end of the month.

Hey, I hear it's been 70 degrees there this week so I'll take
it.  It's been in a state of perma-snowing all week here.

- What movies does one absolutely HAVE to watch? Music? Food?
 (anything else to recommend?)

My favorite movie of all time is Dead Poet's Society.  When those
students stand up on their desks at the end of the movie I cry
every time.  And Neil's poor dream killing father.  I also really
like Moulin Rouge and Love Actually.  I'm also the girl that
stops on Dirty Dancing every time I flip by it on TV.  But, I see
tons of movies - I saw everything from ratatouille to Paris
je t'aime last year.

My music tastes are all over the place.  I love everything from
Disco to current Top 40.  The only music I don't like is hard
rock and country. I love Broadway musicals, The Killers, Justin
Timberlake, Prince, Neil Diamond...  crazy diverse.

My food tastes are as all over the map.  Right now, I'm really
digging Mediterranean food.

-- end --

out of the woodwork

Yet another old friend contacted me. I swear all my long-lost friends are crawling out of the woodwork. Even if I don't think they'd appreciate that particular expression :P

But seriously, is it something in the stars these days? Nowadays I keep wondering who's next to reappear...

Charlie bit my finger - again !

Damn I can't seem to stop watching this...

Amazingly bad policy

If this isn't bad publicity, I don't know what is.

Tourists warned of UAE drug laws

Possession of painkillers like codeine and some cold and flu medication could result in a mandatory four-year prison sentence, Fair Trials International said.

In one of the most extreme cases, it reported a man being held after poppy seeds from a bread roll were found on his clothes.

"If they find any amount - no matter how minute - it will be enough to attract a mandatory four-year prison sentence.

"What many travellers may not realise is that they can be deemed to be in possession of such banned substances if they can be detected in their urine or bloodstream, or even in tiny, trace amounts on their person."

蘇芮 一樣的月光

This is one of those songs I really don't want to like cos liking it is just... uncool. But I can't help feeling very impressed with the singer, and I can't help liking the song. Eeks I'm so uncool.

A note on the singer. I remember very distinctly coaching my mum in Kbox for her Mid-Autumn performance (hehe) in which she had to sing one of this singer's songs. My mum's quite a good singer actually, but she can't sing with the music, which is the problem I had when I first started playing the violin with piano accompaniment. So it was a full hour in Kbox listening to that song over and over and over. Urgh I'm a very filial daughter. Oh yes, what was I going to say? This singer's other song is very different. Ya, that's it.

Sleepy!

Guys just don't get it

Facing the prospect of yet another horrendous day in a secluded corner of the library until closing, what does a girl do? Of course she puts in a bit more effort dressing up.

Usually I just throw on a random top + a random bottom, grab my bag and go. These days I try to pick out clothes that I haven't worn in a while, coordinate them with stuff I haven't coordinated them with before, then fuss a bit in front of the mirror (and sometimes even change out of the outfit if it's horrendous). Nothing too dressy (since I have to wear my Crocs slippers because I have to lug my huge laptop around), but with a teeny bit more effort than usual. Then I bring out my perfume samples and meditate on which scent suits my mood, go through my accessories and do some matchy-matchy (forgive me for use of this *kowtows*) before I'm ready to go.

Yes, no one's looking at me, but who cares? Besides, that means that even if I get EVERYTHING wrong, no one's looking. :P (and yes, it's happened)

Guys have such inflated egos, they actually believe that girls dress for them. No no no *wags finger under noses* girls dress to make themselves feel better.

Anyway, I'm taking it easy tomorrow. (which means I'm going to work till sunset and no later)

qui aime le franglais?

I do!

Au revoir Mister Franglais

The French see it differently because English is taking over the world and French isn't. English doesn't need defending, but French, once the European language of freedom and culture, does. And English is not just 600,000 eccentrically spelt words in a very large book, it is, to some, a symbol of Anglo-American cultural imperialism, the language of junk food.

You might think we were talking about the last two speakers of a native American dialect, rather than French, which is used by more than 350 million people. But to some, a future of Franglais n'est pas un future at all.

This article really made me laugh. Why can't Channelnewsasia be more like the BBC?

That's my life

Can you believe that I'm excited at the prospect of being able to work at the National Library instead of NUS on Sunday?

haunted by Beethoven

There's this incredibly cool site where you can listen to music (no downloads or stuff). You choose your mood, music genre, era and off you go.

I hit dark, classical, and the next thing I know I'm hearing Moonlight Sonata 3rd movement. Which is, oh, just like the piece that's been invading my head for days. It's also the piece I've been trying to learn, and you know, there's this guy called Horowitz, and even though I've been practising on and off for a couple of months I don't know if I'm at half his speed yet. I keep increasing speed (on the metronome), and each time I'm surprised I can keep up, and each time I'm horrified to find out that I'm STILL not playing fast enough dammit.

Then again, I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I'm probably a much better pianist than I was when I just completed my Grade 8 piano. 7 years ago I'd never even have considered playing any of the stuff I'm playing now. I mean, I'm still no good now, but better. (which tells you how bad I was) I think it's something to do with my learning the violin. Learning the violin taught me muchos about playing music, even though it didn't really teach me how to play the violin well. And well, perhaps I'm actually interested in playing the piano now. I've got a bad bad feeling though, that if I actually get around to taking piano lessons again I'll find myself woefully inept.

Anyway, to all of you out there, life sucks quite a bit for me now, so watch out for the fangs and claws. (though you're probably more likely to get whines and buckets of angst)

Really, really expensive shampoo

I layered Burberry London for Men & Terre d'Hermes, and most surprisingly, got Johnson & Johnson's baby shampoo.

My wish list

Ok, I added a wish list (see sidebar), which is absolutely something I should have done ages ago. It'd be nice if you guys could get me any one of those (understatement. I'd actually love you till the end of time), but I don't really expect it and foresee I'll have to spend my own money (horror!) on them. Nevertheless, at least the list ought to keep my focused and prevent me from buying other stuff when that money could have gone to any of the items on my list.

how a library can kill you

I'm dying here... I've been spending days alone in the library flipping through books that, as interesting and entertaining as they were initially, are probably going to get drier and more boring as I go along. I can't surf the net or watch videos while working, there's no one to talk to, I can't MSN and work at the same time, and I can't even listen to music because I'm in such a music mood these days, it's hard to listen to music that induces brain-implosion and work simultaneously, and music that doesn't induce brain-implosion is not listen-worthy when I'm in this mood.

Hours and hours and days and days and weeks and weeks of flipping through books without anything else to do.......

I could cry with sheer frustration and boredom.

In the news

Carla Bruni avoids protocol issue

Carla Bruni, the girlfriend of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, has told a leading French newspaper that she will not travel with him to India this week.

The decision means that Indian officials do not have to resolve protocol issues of how to treat a head of state's girlfriend.

Officials said there was no precedent for a head of state visiting with their girlfriend and there is no mention in the rule book about where she should be accommodated or seated.

Officially, the foreign ministry refused to comment on the visit, but in private many diplomats hinted at the "protocol confusion" that gripped the government.

This amused me to no end.

Maid finds boss is missing father

A Vietnamese woman who travelled to Taiwan to find the father she had never met, ended up working for him without knowing it.

Ms Tran had travelled to Taiwan a few years earlier to search for her father. Her only clues were a gold ring and a photograph of him as a young man.

He had given the mementoes to a Vietnamese woman he had fallen in love with in Hong Kong in 1967. She had returned to her home country to care for her mother and he later returned to Taiwan.

The woman gave birth to Tran Thi Kham, but died two years later. The child was brought up by her aunt - whom she thought was her mother until the day of her wedding, at age 21. On that day, her aunt revealed the true story and passed on the ring and the photo.

This was terribly amusing too. Oh come on, the drama... the drama...

I love the BBC for all the wrong reasons.

a bit of joy in a lot of work

I put on my jacket and realised I can smell my perfume on my jacket.

I've never, in all my years as an NUS student, spent this much time in the bloody library.

Ring-a-ring-o'-roses,

PM urges world institution reform
Gordon Brown has called for reform of international institutions, including the United Nations and the World Bank, on the final day of his trip to India.

A pocket full of posies,

In a keynote speech in New Delhi, the prime minister said it was time to build a "new global society".

A-tishoo, a-tishoo,

Mr Brown also called for the expansion of the UN Security Council and the establishment of a World Bank fund to combat global warming.

We all fall down.

Panda Toaster

Ah!!!!!! I love Panda Toaster! Panda Toaster rocks!

insecurity

This very very serious post was inspired by this post at a blog I always visit cos the guy's funny and ten kinds of nice in a good way.

My friends often say that I seem to expect very little of them and not miss them at all when they're away. Which is absolutely true. I think it's because of that that I don't really get into major tiffs with friends. I don't get all worked up thinking that someone's being insensitive or uncaring or someone doesn't appreciate me as much as he/she should, and it's perfectly alright if friends disappear for months for whatever reason as long as I know we're still friends. Which is why I really don't understand why certain quarrels are so hard to resolve. (ahem :P)

I figure that since I spend most of my time not thinking or caring about my friends, there's no reason why I should expect any of my friends to spend any significant amount of time thinking about me. Most of my mental (and a large part of my emotional) effort goes into the constant inner struggle over whether I should finish up that chocolate bar in my fridge. (there's always a chocolate bar in the fridge) So I fully expect my friends to be more concerned about dinner than about me, and I fully expect them to contact me only when they're bored/ need help/ need company. And it's ok.

In the same way, because I'm never able to remember faces and names, if I have met someone only once or twice, I expect him/her to have forgotten me, and am pleasantly surprised when he hasn't. (and very embarrassed because 99% of the time, I've forgotten who he is. Also, when I introduce myself again, they're like, dude, I know who you are.)

On the other hand, for those people (read: LSB) whom I think about only slightly less than chocolate, I feel terribly devastated when I find that no, LSB has not been thinking of me at all, omg why doesn't he think about me does he still love me?!?!?! *silent scream, pulls hair out* And if he still hasn't remembered my birthday you better take a step back cos I don't know what I might do. But you know, it puts a lot of pressure on the relationship when I'm like that. Well, at least I know that I'm more than a bit neurotic when it comes to LSB and I'm trying my best to take a more laid-back approach and to expect less of my boyfriend-who-is-an-utter-caveman-and-not-a-SNAG-at-all. *sigh*

Ok, I took a nap just now and woke at 1am, so many more sleepless hours to go...