JR: LSB!
LSB: ????????// yes dearie?
JR: i missed u today cute(
LSB: haha tat's so sweet
LSB: have u bn doing work
JR: an itsy bitsy teeny little bit
JR: u say me sweet?
JR: yes? u say me sweet?
LSB: erm........
JR: u say me sweet?
JR: yes? sweet?
LSB: yes yes
JR: hehehehehehehehehehe
JR: snigger
JR: so shy
LSB: erm diao
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Respect and Resistance
A1one: 1st generation Graffiti in Iran
Iran… what do we really know about it? And which of all these facts are actually true? What kind of image do we have? And would we include something like ‘Iranian Graffiti’ or ‘Street Art from Tehran’ in this image?
If so, what would that look like? Do we expect any strong Anti-American messages? Or do we think of a strong form of expression against the government maybe? Or could it be sympathizing with a local party? Or what if it was not about any official statement at all, but what if Iranian street art was simply a form of personal expression? Or maybe it is even all of the above, still testing out what ’street art’ could possibly be in this particular environment… PingMag interviewed A1one, the one who started graffiti in Tehran.
I just discovered PingMag, and I'm falling head over heels in love with it.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I amaze myself
It's essay time again!
No matter how long I have to research and write, I always end up doing all the work in less than a day.
I'm freaking amazing I tell you.
This is 40% of my grade!
And I'm feeling complacent.
Because guess what, I've got 800+/4000 words at 12.45am the day the essay is due, and you know, that's kind of better than my usual 'holy shit it's 4am, I'd better start, but what am I to write about' situation.
So I'm doing all these mental calculations in my head, and I'm like, I've gotta be in school by 2pm tomorrow, so let's say I have till 1pm. Factor in 2hrs for stoning + the inevitable 'pls-wake-me-up-in-1hr-but-failing-that-just-give-me-3hrs-more' sleep, that gives me 6 hrs to write 3000 words.
Not bad at all dude. That's about 1/4 of a day.
Oops I forgot to count the 30mins for random incoherent blogging. Slightly less than 1/4 of a day.
Oh yeah, I haven't done any research, so I shall have to search for articles online. Minus another 2hrs.
WTH it's 40% of my grade! Why do I insist on screwing myself over like this? I need therapy.
No matter how long I have to research and write, I always end up doing all the work in less than a day.
I'm freaking amazing I tell you.
This is 40% of my grade!
And I'm feeling complacent.
Because guess what, I've got 800+/4000 words at 12.45am the day the essay is due, and you know, that's kind of better than my usual 'holy shit it's 4am, I'd better start, but what am I to write about' situation.
So I'm doing all these mental calculations in my head, and I'm like, I've gotta be in school by 2pm tomorrow, so let's say I have till 1pm. Factor in 2hrs for stoning + the inevitable 'pls-wake-me-up-in-1hr-but-failing-that-just-give-me-3hrs-more' sleep, that gives me 6 hrs to write 3000 words.
Not bad at all dude. That's about 1/4 of a day.
Oops I forgot to count the 30mins for random incoherent blogging. Slightly less than 1/4 of a day.
Oh yeah, I haven't done any research, so I shall have to search for articles online. Minus another 2hrs.
WTH it's 40% of my grade! Why do I insist on screwing myself over like this? I need therapy.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Gender and Games
Game Boys for Play Girls! games & gender by Babsi
Barbara ‘Babsi’ Lippe enjoyed a typical postmodern childhood filled with cartoons, action figures, comics and video-games. The latter in particular had a great impact on her life: she has just finished a 1000 page PhD thesis about Games and Gender! PingMag interviewed the cheerful Austrian expert about why Japanese game esthetics are more appealing to women in the West and how the market in Europe is slowly changing.
Sometimes you just have to live and let live. I've been told that my place is like a jungle, not because it's untamed, messy and uncivilised - even though it IS all of the above, but because of the numbers of non-human wildlife that coexist with my more genetically-related family. There're times humans and non-humans just have to live with each other in harmony. *zen* *sings Circle of Life*
There's a spider that lives on the window-sill next to my study-table (or rather, my dad's table, which I've claimed as my own by choping it with my notes).
Another spider lives in my bathroom, though I haven't seen it recently.
Baby grasshoppers regularly frequent my laptop because of the heat and light. (The baby grasshoppers probably came from the plants in my balcony, where there're bigger grasshoppers. Yeah, my mum the gardener lives and lets live too.)
Baby lizards, or rather, young lizards (the one that visited last night wasn't that small) come to my laptop, probably for the same reason. The really small ones are cute though, because they're prone to acrobatics, jumping up and down for no apparent reason. (Sorry, Joyce)
Usually I'm less tolerant towards bigger/grosser forms of wildlife, and my human family members are tasked with chasing them away. These include cockroaches, BIG grasshoppers, moths/butterflies (but only when they fly into the house), beetles (esp. the stinky ones!), hairy spiders.
I'm also tolerant of wildlife insofar as they don't actually crawl on to me.
Barbara ‘Babsi’ Lippe enjoyed a typical postmodern childhood filled with cartoons, action figures, comics and video-games. The latter in particular had a great impact on her life: she has just finished a 1000 page PhD thesis about Games and Gender! PingMag interviewed the cheerful Austrian expert about why Japanese game esthetics are more appealing to women in the West and how the market in Europe is slowly changing.
Sometimes you just have to live and let live. I've been told that my place is like a jungle, not because it's untamed, messy and uncivilised - even though it IS all of the above, but because of the numbers of non-human wildlife that coexist with my more genetically-related family. There're times humans and non-humans just have to live with each other in harmony. *zen* *sings Circle of Life*
There's a spider that lives on the window-sill next to my study-table (or rather, my dad's table, which I've claimed as my own by choping it with my notes).
Another spider lives in my bathroom, though I haven't seen it recently.
Baby grasshoppers regularly frequent my laptop because of the heat and light. (The baby grasshoppers probably came from the plants in my balcony, where there're bigger grasshoppers. Yeah, my mum the gardener lives and lets live too.)
Baby lizards, or rather, young lizards (the one that visited last night wasn't that small) come to my laptop, probably for the same reason. The really small ones are cute though, because they're prone to acrobatics, jumping up and down for no apparent reason. (Sorry, Joyce)
Usually I'm less tolerant towards bigger/grosser forms of wildlife, and my human family members are tasked with chasing them away. These include cockroaches, BIG grasshoppers, moths/butterflies (but only when they fly into the house), beetles (esp. the stinky ones!), hairy spiders.
I'm also tolerant of wildlife insofar as they don't actually crawl on to me.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Recollection
I wonder if LSB remembers the night we danced at the bus-stop at his house while it was raining. He thought it was stupid of course, and even I felt a bit embarrassed even though I was the one who coerced him into it. He'll probably kill me for speaking about this in public.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
New battleground
US plans to 'fight the net' revealed
A newly declassified document gives a fascinating glimpse into the US military's plans for "information operations" - from psychological operations, to attacks on hostile computer networks.
Woah this is some crazy shit. But it's hardly surprising that people in the security sector would see the Internet in this light.
Americans have been notoriously bad at soft power, something that's perhaps not entirely their fault, since people like to pick on the big boys. It's funny though, how they see soft power in such militarized terms. 'Fight the net'? What happened to 'promote cultural awareness and understanding'? It makes it seem like they see everyone else as a potential enemy instead of a potential friend. (or at least the article makes it seem so, and we know how much the BBC likes US foreign policy these days)
Of course now that the document's out in the open, that means more bad press for them. Nobody likes Big Brother propagandists. They should have stuck to the wimpy cultural exchanges.
I also have to say that I don't like the idea of propaganda and surveillance of the Internet being institutionalized and legitimized as part of a 'war'. (I know it happens all the time already.) Netizens unite! (haha)
A newly declassified document gives a fascinating glimpse into the US military's plans for "information operations" - from psychological operations, to attacks on hostile computer networks.
The operations described in the document include a surprising range of military activities: public affairs officers who brief journalists, psychological operations troops who try to manipulate the thoughts and beliefs of an enemy, computer network attack specialists who seek to destroy enemy networks.
...
It seems to see the internet as being equivalent to an enemy weapons
system."Strategy should be based on the premise that the Department [of Defense] will 'fight the net' as it would an enemy weapons system," it reads.
Woah this is some crazy shit. But it's hardly surprising that people in the security sector would see the Internet in this light.
Americans have been notoriously bad at soft power, something that's perhaps not entirely their fault, since people like to pick on the big boys. It's funny though, how they see soft power in such militarized terms. 'Fight the net'? What happened to 'promote cultural awareness and understanding'? It makes it seem like they see everyone else as a potential enemy instead of a potential friend. (or at least the article makes it seem so, and we know how much the BBC likes US foreign policy these days)
Of course now that the document's out in the open, that means more bad press for them. Nobody likes Big Brother propagandists. They should have stuck to the wimpy cultural exchanges.
I also have to say that I don't like the idea of propaganda and surveillance of the Internet being institutionalized and legitimized as part of a 'war'. (I know it happens all the time already.) Netizens unite! (haha)
Have you read the papers?
First tutorial today passed by in a fog of drowsiness. 10am is not a good time for me.
I was looking over LSB's (long-suffering bf) shoulder as he was scanning through microforms of newspapers from the late 1950s and early 1960s.
I never knew the papers were so interesting!
There were the priceless nuggets like 'Cat gives birth to squirrel,' and 'Englishman possessed by spirit of lama.' A lady divorced her husband because he refused to give her money for lipstick and cigarettes. A writer was horrified by homosexuality in prisons. People were to watch out for an injured man-eating tiger. Rubber prices were down. Chantilly lace was debonair (yes, the article used this word!) this summer. Lolita was all the rage among liberals in America, and we weren't certain at all if it was indeed pornography. Dulles had passed away, and the Russians were wrangling in a most uncivilised manner with the Americans. People were struggling with issues of language and culture, and students held emergency meetings to pass resolutions on governmental misdeeds. Algeria and Congo were in the news, as was merger, and Scottish dances were all the fad with 'blood-curdling screams' from the men and 'twirling skirts' attached to girlish waists (yes, actual quotes).
I love the papers.
ed: Just a note, these were local papers.
ed2: LSB just notified me that Malay Mail (the paper we were looking at) was actually a Malayan publication, and therefore not really 'local'. Not that anyone cares, but historians are anal retentive like that.
I was looking over LSB's (long-suffering bf) shoulder as he was scanning through microforms of newspapers from the late 1950s and early 1960s.
I never knew the papers were so interesting!
There were the priceless nuggets like 'Cat gives birth to squirrel,' and 'Englishman possessed by spirit of lama.' A lady divorced her husband because he refused to give her money for lipstick and cigarettes. A writer was horrified by homosexuality in prisons. People were to watch out for an injured man-eating tiger. Rubber prices were down. Chantilly lace was debonair (yes, the article used this word!) this summer. Lolita was all the rage among liberals in America, and we weren't certain at all if it was indeed pornography. Dulles had passed away, and the Russians were wrangling in a most uncivilised manner with the Americans. People were struggling with issues of language and culture, and students held emergency meetings to pass resolutions on governmental misdeeds. Algeria and Congo were in the news, as was merger, and Scottish dances were all the fad with 'blood-curdling screams' from the men and 'twirling skirts' attached to girlish waists (yes, actual quotes).
I love the papers.
ed: Just a note, these were local papers.
ed2: LSB just notified me that Malay Mail (the paper we were looking at) was actually a Malayan publication, and therefore not really 'local'. Not that anyone cares, but historians are anal retentive like that.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
WTH?
The ES does come close to Wendtian constructivism on one point: materialism vs idealism. Both are in-between positions here, the ES somewhat more materialist than all/most constructivists. But they differ on a whole complex of other questions (notably the view of language, rationality, analysts role, and IR theory/theories) and this brings the ES closer to classical realism and post-structuralism, than to constructivism.
- Ole Waever, 1999.
ARGH! Stop screwing with my mind! That was NOT what I thought the ES was! And how can you mention classical realism and post-structuralism in the same breath? How?!?! How could you? Now what am I supposed to do? Now I know nothing!
------ (edited)
Ok, now that I've calmed down somewhat.
It seems I always get stuck on the theory, esp. the definitions... largely because I still believe that half the argument is won by definitions and categorization. I never seem to get to the application of theory. Ok I admit, it's also partly because I prefer theory to application.
This was exactly what happened to my HT, which was supposed to be an application of theory, but ended up being a meaningless 10,000 word exposition on a minor theoretical point that I could have dealt with in 2 sentences. Oh the benefits of hindsight.
I have to stop reading these theory-related articles and actually get down to application. Soon. As soon as I've got this latest bit figured out.
Monday, January 22, 2007
News
Ancient Greek gods' new believers Followers of the 12 Greek Gods, who, according to mythology, ruled the Ancient World from Mount Olympus, have cast a thunderbolt at their Orthodox opponents.
This was inexplicably amusing to me. Well, not exactly inexplicably. Amusing largely because I've heard the example of 'pagan' worship used in polemics against Christianity so many times (you have 'faith' in your God, but these Greeks, guess what? they had 'faith' too!), it's sort of funny to know they're still around, alive and (kicking and stepping on people's toes).
BlogTV.sg
blogtv.sg is a programme where the blogosphere is transported onto the television screen. Different discussion topics each week are derived from the latest buzz in blogs - be it podcasts, video clips or pictures. Guest bloggers and experts from Singapore and around the world (it could be you!) come onto the show; have chats with our hosts through web cams and even 3G phones.
I should watch TV more often. There've already been 13 episodes on CNA (Channel News Asia, for those not in the know), and I've only just discovered (while surfing, not watching tv, of course).
As far as I can tell from the write-ups on each episode, they tend to focus on social (as opposed to political - again, the separation in Singaporean discourse between 'social' and 'political'. Sorry, I'm Singaporean after all.) issues, except for Ep.12: Big Boys Blogging, which just might cross the line into politics. Of course I wouldn't know how far they went, unless I bother downloading and watching the episode myself.
I find it really interesting though, that if you go to any of the BlogTV.sg pages, there's a column on 'Blogosphere News', much like the 'Business News' or 'Financial News' columns you see on other sites. The idea of a 'Singapore Blogosphere', I think, is gaining currency, and the reinforcement from the MSM will only transfer the idea to more non-bloggers.
Funny how I tend to see non-bloggers as the 'non-'/'different' now.
This was inexplicably amusing to me. Well, not exactly inexplicably. Amusing largely because I've heard the example of 'pagan' worship used in polemics against Christianity so many times (you have 'faith' in your God, but these Greeks, guess what? they had 'faith' too!), it's sort of funny to know they're still around, alive and (kicking and stepping on people's toes).
BlogTV.sg
blogtv.sg is a programme where the blogosphere is transported onto the television screen. Different discussion topics each week are derived from the latest buzz in blogs - be it podcasts, video clips or pictures. Guest bloggers and experts from Singapore and around the world (it could be you!) come onto the show; have chats with our hosts through web cams and even 3G phones.
I should watch TV more often. There've already been 13 episodes on CNA (Channel News Asia, for those not in the know), and I've only just discovered (while surfing, not watching tv, of course).
As far as I can tell from the write-ups on each episode, they tend to focus on social (as opposed to political - again, the separation in Singaporean discourse between 'social' and 'political'. Sorry, I'm Singaporean after all.) issues, except for Ep.12: Big Boys Blogging, which just might cross the line into politics. Of course I wouldn't know how far they went, unless I bother downloading and watching the episode myself.
I find it really interesting though, that if you go to any of the BlogTV.sg pages, there's a column on 'Blogosphere News', much like the 'Business News' or 'Financial News' columns you see on other sites. The idea of a 'Singapore Blogosphere', I think, is gaining currency, and the reinforcement from the MSM will only transfer the idea to more non-bloggers.
Funny how I tend to see non-bloggers as the 'non-'/'different' now.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
One turn away from the woods
I've been following this blog for some time, even though the author of the blog doesn't update very frequently nowadays.
The blog's author is a young lady who ended up living in her car on a quiet lane in the woods. She's now no longer homeless, and is about to publish a book. Having been a silent reader of her blog from before she clinched the book deal, I honestly feel very happy for her.
(I know it sounds as if I should start the next sentence with a 'but'. But there's no 'but' here.)
What I find intriguing and compelling about her story is how you can lose your way with just a few wrong turns, and when you look around, you suddenly find that you're all alone in the woods. And how there're probably many many others like her, who haven't had her good fortune.
The blog's author is a young lady who ended up living in her car on a quiet lane in the woods. She's now no longer homeless, and is about to publish a book. Having been a silent reader of her blog from before she clinched the book deal, I honestly feel very happy for her.
(I know it sounds as if I should start the next sentence with a 'but'. But there's no 'but' here.)
What I find intriguing and compelling about her story is how you can lose your way with just a few wrong turns, and when you look around, you suddenly find that you're all alone in the woods. And how there're probably many many others like her, who haven't had her good fortune.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Contentment
I've realized (with some surprise) that these days I've been more contented and comfortable than I've been in a long long time.
Yes, I whine about loads of stuff, like work, the weather, life and the universe.
But generally, I'm kind of happy.
Maybe it's got to do with my decision to not think about graduate studies/work yet. Maybe it's because of the free and easy (but horribly busy) schedule I have nowadays, allowing me to plan my time as I like (although that'll change soon). Maybe it's because my supervisor already has no illusions about me since I've totally let on that I'm prone to laziness and am unable to communicate with humans without making funny faces at them.
Somehow I feel unbeholden to anyone, no longer perpetually guilty about not being the person people think I am/expect me to be. Which is perhaps why nowadays I've acquired an alarming tendency to whine/act cute, which is the kind of person I really am inside, just that you never knew hehe...
We'll see how long this lasts. I've been hesitant about writing about my new-found contentment, because I'm never sure how temporary these things are. Probably by next week I'll be in the middle of an earth-shaking tragedy as I realise how hopelessly incompetent I am at managing a bunch of undergraduates.
Yes, I whine about loads of stuff, like work, the weather, life and the universe.
But generally, I'm kind of happy.
Maybe it's got to do with my decision to not think about graduate studies/work yet. Maybe it's because of the free and easy (but horribly busy) schedule I have nowadays, allowing me to plan my time as I like (although that'll change soon). Maybe it's because my supervisor already has no illusions about me since I've totally let on that I'm prone to laziness and am unable to communicate with humans without making funny faces at them.
Somehow I feel unbeholden to anyone, no longer perpetually guilty about not being the person people think I am/expect me to be. Which is perhaps why nowadays I've acquired an alarming tendency to whine/act cute, which is the kind of person I really am inside, just that you never knew hehe...
We'll see how long this lasts. I've been hesitant about writing about my new-found contentment, because I'm never sure how temporary these things are. Probably by next week I'll be in the middle of an earth-shaking tragedy as I realise how hopelessly incompetent I am at managing a bunch of undergraduates.
Work
I need to start thinking about work. Seriously. So I'll combine work and blogging as usual.
I need to write a paper showing that ASEAN is an international society, and it'll probably be more difficult than I initially thought. I'll need to take on realism, constructivism (especially constructivism!) and I'll have to say a word or two on regime theory. The thing is, I have to distinguish between arguing for the merits of the English School and arguing that ASEAN is an international society. I'm so used to arguing the first that I've to be very careful not to mix up the 2 arguments (even though they obviously overlap). So... I know that regime theory is different from ES theories - but the question is, is a regime different from an international society?
Assuming I'm able to do that, I've got to look at the 'meat' of international society theory. What does it mean when you say a group of states form an international society? Since I'm adopting the Hedley Bull approach, I'll probably split it into rules and institutions. So I'll be looking at constitutive, coexistence and cooperative rules, and here I'll have to go back to the formal documents + the 'ASEAN Way'. I'll have to look at instances where these rules came into effect. I'll also have to look at balance of power as the primary primary institution, and see if balance of power in ASEAN fits Bull's framework. And then obviously I'll have to deal with the rest of the institutions. War, especially, stands out, and I'll have to deal with the difference between 'classical' ES theory and practice in ASEAN. Throughout this I'll probably have to keep mentioning common interests and values, and how these common interests and values led states to agree on common rules & institutions.
I suspect (especially when talking about bop) that I'll be borrowing a lot from my lecturer's own work. Which I don't like. I don't know how I can bring anything new, and I'd like to at least put up a small defence (however feeble) against my lecturer's arguments. So I should probably take a close look at his book (haha. sighz).
I can probably take issue with Narine's idea of Southeast Asian international society. (assuming the quote I have is representative of his work)
Note to self: when dealing with Constructivism I should also look at ASEAN-6 vs the rest, and then adopt Narine's point about identity not being a precondition for cooperation.
2nd note to self: I'll have to deal with the changes in the international society throughout ASEAN's history. ASEAN expansion would be a problem in terms of organization of the paper.
I'm writing another paper on performance legitimacy in Singapore, and how it has been shaped by discourses.
Surprisingly, I find that I'm more interested during discussions of Singapore politics than discussions about anything else.
For this one I want to narrow down what I mean by 'shaping' performance legitimacy. 'Shape' in what way?
I have to do more theoretical work on 'performance legitimacy'.
I'm also concerned about sources and causal links. So even though there's stuff in the secondary literature to back me up, I'll want to look at more recent official statements etc.
Hopelessly sleepy. Argh.
I need to write a paper showing that ASEAN is an international society, and it'll probably be more difficult than I initially thought. I'll need to take on realism, constructivism (especially constructivism!) and I'll have to say a word or two on regime theory. The thing is, I have to distinguish between arguing for the merits of the English School and arguing that ASEAN is an international society. I'm so used to arguing the first that I've to be very careful not to mix up the 2 arguments (even though they obviously overlap). So... I know that regime theory is different from ES theories - but the question is, is a regime different from an international society?
Assuming I'm able to do that, I've got to look at the 'meat' of international society theory. What does it mean when you say a group of states form an international society? Since I'm adopting the Hedley Bull approach, I'll probably split it into rules and institutions. So I'll be looking at constitutive, coexistence and cooperative rules, and here I'll have to go back to the formal documents + the 'ASEAN Way'. I'll have to look at instances where these rules came into effect. I'll also have to look at balance of power as the primary primary institution, and see if balance of power in ASEAN fits Bull's framework. And then obviously I'll have to deal with the rest of the institutions. War, especially, stands out, and I'll have to deal with the difference between 'classical' ES theory and practice in ASEAN. Throughout this I'll probably have to keep mentioning common interests and values, and how these common interests and values led states to agree on common rules & institutions.
I suspect (especially when talking about bop) that I'll be borrowing a lot from my lecturer's own work. Which I don't like. I don't know how I can bring anything new, and I'd like to at least put up a small defence (however feeble) against my lecturer's arguments. So I should probably take a close look at his book (haha. sighz).
I can probably take issue with Narine's idea of Southeast Asian international society. (assuming the quote I have is representative of his work)
Note to self: when dealing with Constructivism I should also look at ASEAN-6 vs the rest, and then adopt Narine's point about identity not being a precondition for cooperation.
2nd note to self: I'll have to deal with the changes in the international society throughout ASEAN's history. ASEAN expansion would be a problem in terms of organization of the paper.
I'm writing another paper on performance legitimacy in Singapore, and how it has been shaped by discourses.
Surprisingly, I find that I'm more interested during discussions of Singapore politics than discussions about anything else.
For this one I want to narrow down what I mean by 'shaping' performance legitimacy. 'Shape' in what way?
I have to do more theoretical work on 'performance legitimacy'.
I'm also concerned about sources and causal links. So even though there's stuff in the secondary literature to back me up, I'll want to look at more recent official statements etc.
Hopelessly sleepy. Argh.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The blogs I read
Ghostinthewire asks in his entry on ideology and sinthomatic critique:
Can there be a thinking or a performance of criticism that does not repeat itself? Can we analyze and critically engage the social codes around us without participating in them?
Now I mention this not because I'm going to comment on his ideas. I actually don't know enough to make even a vaguely intelligent comment.
But I love reading posts with words like 'sinthomatic' and 'Lacanian' and 'metastasis'. I love these words to bits. They're like word-length poetry; there're so many ideas and concepts and histories (and many many books) squeezed into these few letters that they're quite overwhelming. They're tonnes of thinkers and books and other words cobbled together to form a word. They're such wonderfully delicious words! So many many many things in one! *delirious*
Yeah, and well, you get to learn something from posts like these too. I love all these intelligent people out there. They open doors that I never knew existed to worlds that I never knew existed. I get all excited and stuff. *strikes bimbo pose*
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
- Hamlet
Hmmm. Sinthomatic critique eh...
Oh, and one of my favourite poems (have I posted this before?):
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands
- e.e.cummings
And... (indulge me) one of my favourite quotes:
His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through
the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all
the living and the dead.
- James Joyce
Can there be a thinking or a performance of criticism that does not repeat itself? Can we analyze and critically engage the social codes around us without participating in them?
Now I mention this not because I'm going to comment on his ideas. I actually don't know enough to make even a vaguely intelligent comment.
But I love reading posts with words like 'sinthomatic' and 'Lacanian' and 'metastasis'. I love these words to bits. They're like word-length poetry; there're so many ideas and concepts and histories (and many many books) squeezed into these few letters that they're quite overwhelming. They're tonnes of thinkers and books and other words cobbled together to form a word. They're such wonderfully delicious words! So many many many things in one! *delirious*
Yeah, and well, you get to learn something from posts like these too. I love all these intelligent people out there. They open doors that I never knew existed to worlds that I never knew existed. I get all excited and stuff. *strikes bimbo pose*
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
- Hamlet
Hmmm. Sinthomatic critique eh...
Oh, and one of my favourite poems (have I posted this before?):
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands
- e.e.cummings
And... (indulge me) one of my favourite quotes:
His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through
the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all
the living and the dead.
- James Joyce
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Scatter-brained me
I was so tired yesterday (because the day before I didn't sleep), I came home and went straight to bed. Well... actually I was hell-bent on watching tv, something that I haven't done in peace for ages, and therefore ended up sleeping on the sofa instead. During essay period I seldom sleep in my own bed. :P
Yesterday I forgot to raise the question that's been festering within during a meeting that was meant to answer our questions, and I had to email my query instead.
Today I accidentally took a reference book out of the library and didn't discover till it was a few hours too late. Which means I'll have to go back 1st thing tomorrow morning.
Then I realised I'd forgotten to bring my music teacher's CDs.
And then I left my violin in the long-suffering bf's place.
Argh someone save me from myself.
Yesterday I forgot to raise the question that's been festering within during a meeting that was meant to answer our questions, and I had to email my query instead.
Today I accidentally took a reference book out of the library and didn't discover till it was a few hours too late. Which means I'll have to go back 1st thing tomorrow morning.
Then I realised I'd forgotten to bring my music teacher's CDs.
And then I left my violin in the long-suffering bf's place.
Argh someone save me from myself.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Imagination
Sometimes I really get tired of the rigour of academic research and writing. I re-read a few pages of Lord of the Rings just now, and it feels like a breath of fresh air. I keep feeling as if I have been neglecting something, and perhaps I've been forced to concentrate so much on rationality and logic that I've neglected the other forms of 'thinking'.
It's so wonderful to be able to let loose and not gnaw away at consistency and methodological precision and unstated assumptions etc. Even humour/wit has become a strain. And listening to good music is strenuous these days too, cos good music tends to short-circuit my brain into a state of frenzied ecstacy. The great thing about LOTR is the colours and songs that you can immerse in, and there's an unapologetic, gentle beauty about the textures of the story that is so different from the stuff I usually have to read. And I keep using the word 'texture' when describing LOTR, because I don't know what other word to use. 140pgs and it feels better than a nap. That's saying something.
It's so wonderful to be able to let loose and not gnaw away at consistency and methodological precision and unstated assumptions etc. Even humour/wit has become a strain. And listening to good music is strenuous these days too, cos good music tends to short-circuit my brain into a state of frenzied ecstacy. The great thing about LOTR is the colours and songs that you can immerse in, and there's an unapologetic, gentle beauty about the textures of the story that is so different from the stuff I usually have to read. And I keep using the word 'texture' when describing LOTR, because I don't know what other word to use. 140pgs and it feels better than a nap. That's saying something.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
*waves fist angrily at Fate, Gravity, and Circumstance*
I cracked my toenail while rushing for class because I was so sleepy. (Actually, what really happened was I stubbed my toe, fell on both hands and knees in the middle of the most populated canteen in the university, and then stared blankly - while still on the floor - at the blood oozing out from under my toenail for about half a minute. Glamorous eh.) Now my entire toe hurts, and I'm paranoid about people stepping on my injured toe. Which was why I came *this* close to screaming at people to get away from me on the MRT today.
So I started my first class of 2007 with a bleeding toenail. I also started my first class realizing that I hadn't copied my readings for that class. Well, at least I didn't do too badly for the book review that I was angsting about.*gloat*
My silly ass of a sister decided to take the module that I might be tutoring (still in denial). Thank goodness I've been assured that there is No Way she'll end up in my class. I keep feeling that I'm more trouble than help to the Dept though. We shall see.
My violin teacher still maintains that I'm on the edge of a great height and a long way down, of failing my exam. Actually, who am I kidding. I'm already off the cliff and reaching terminal velocity. (I know, I know, I never say anything new about my violin lessons).
I *heart* Mayday! They're so smooshy!
So I started my first class of 2007 with a bleeding toenail. I also started my first class realizing that I hadn't copied my readings for that class. Well, at least I didn't do too badly for the book review that I was angsting about.*gloat*
My silly ass of a sister decided to take the module that I might be tutoring (still in denial). Thank goodness I've been assured that there is No Way she'll end up in my class. I keep feeling that I'm more trouble than help to the Dept though. We shall see.
My violin teacher still maintains that I'm on the edge of a great height and a long way down, of failing my exam. Actually, who am I kidding. I'm already off the cliff and reaching terminal velocity. (I know, I know, I never say anything new about my violin lessons).
I *heart* Mayday! They're so smooshy!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Breaking news
"I don't know how some people can be so effortlessly elegant," Friend comments as she brushes crumbs off herself.
"Yeah, totally." I start picking crumbs off myself too.
"They have such poise, such manners... and they know exactly which utensils to use." Friend looks pointedly at me while I pick my croissant up, ignoring fork and knife.
(My hazy impression of that very early Friday morning breakfast conversation. And I've kindly left Friend anonymous.)
.................................................
The bus-stop outside my house is right next to a semi-d, which houses one very big (and cute!) retriever (I'd say golden, but actually it looks off-white).
The reason I know this (despite the non-transparent fence that circles the semi-d) is because I regularly peer under fences (and toilet doors and skirts), and therefore spied four hairy (canine) legs. And because I like to fancy myself a FOD (friend of dogs), I always cluck away at it. It usually responds by lying flat on the ground next to the fence, and sticking its snout out at me, which is about all it can manage, given the fence. And I get to peer into the sad soulful eyes of a wolf-at-heart who would love to pounce on irritating-human-who-sounds (and probably tastes)-like-chicken and rip out my throat if not for this... darn... fence...
...............................................
At this same bus-stop yesterday, a School Bus made a slow and stately stop, and regurgitated a Small Boy.
This particular specimen of Small Boy must be privy to some Small Boy ritual that I'm ignorant of, cos I got quite a scare when he screamed 'TOILET PAPER' at the School Bus. And from within the cavernous depths of the School Bus came a 'TOILET PAPER' that was dripping with contempt and sounded very much like a kid-sized (but very heavy) gauntlet slapping the floor. Or a dirty martini cascading over coiffured hair and 1 inch of cosmetics in public.
A great fury rose from within the innermost core of our Small Boy, and behold! he shook with righteous indignation, a pale flush staining his lily cheeks. From that same innermost core (it's a big one, so it can hold things like 'great furies' and large amounts of half-digested candy), and with Herculean Effort, our Small Boy expelled a last 'TOILET PAPER!!!!!!' at the departing bus, a war-cry that seemed to vibrate through the whole of his defiant, youthful (if somewhat vertically challenged) being.
And then the enemy fled to fight another day, and pursuit was hopeless, and the battle over, and the toilet flushed, and the sun set upon the wealth of the earth, and the moon rose like a queen to her throne (and so on), so he allowed his maid to help him with his armour-disguised-as-school-bag, and made his weary way home.
.......................................................
One note to readers, this is a frivolous blog. It's pink. Therefore posts are not to be taken seriously. Therefore if I say that I'd like to pull someone's fingernails out and insert them in a painful manner under that same person's toenails before hanging said person from a cactus by his entrails, this means I might have made detailed plans. But that's all.
So when I say 'breaking news', it probably means 'nothing important'.
"Yeah, totally." I start picking crumbs off myself too.
"They have such poise, such manners... and they know exactly which utensils to use." Friend looks pointedly at me while I pick my croissant up, ignoring fork and knife.
(My hazy impression of that very early Friday morning breakfast conversation. And I've kindly left Friend anonymous.)
.................................................
The bus-stop outside my house is right next to a semi-d, which houses one very big (and cute!) retriever (I'd say golden, but actually it looks off-white).
The reason I know this (despite the non-transparent fence that circles the semi-d) is because I regularly peer under fences (and toilet doors and skirts), and therefore spied four hairy (canine) legs. And because I like to fancy myself a FOD (friend of dogs), I always cluck away at it. It usually responds by lying flat on the ground next to the fence, and sticking its snout out at me, which is about all it can manage, given the fence. And I get to peer into the sad soulful eyes of a wolf-at-heart who would love to pounce on irritating-human-who-sounds (and probably tastes)-like-chicken and rip out my throat if not for this... darn... fence...
...............................................
At this same bus-stop yesterday, a School Bus made a slow and stately stop, and regurgitated a Small Boy.
This particular specimen of Small Boy must be privy to some Small Boy ritual that I'm ignorant of, cos I got quite a scare when he screamed 'TOILET PAPER' at the School Bus. And from within the cavernous depths of the School Bus came a 'TOILET PAPER' that was dripping with contempt and sounded very much like a kid-sized (but very heavy) gauntlet slapping the floor. Or a dirty martini cascading over coiffured hair and 1 inch of cosmetics in public.
A great fury rose from within the innermost core of our Small Boy, and behold! he shook with righteous indignation, a pale flush staining his lily cheeks. From that same innermost core (it's a big one, so it can hold things like 'great furies' and large amounts of half-digested candy), and with Herculean Effort, our Small Boy expelled a last 'TOILET PAPER!!!!!!' at the departing bus, a war-cry that seemed to vibrate through the whole of his defiant, youthful (if somewhat vertically challenged) being.
And then the enemy fled to fight another day, and pursuit was hopeless, and the battle over, and the toilet flushed, and the sun set upon the wealth of the earth, and the moon rose like a queen to her throne (and so on), so he allowed his maid to help him with his armour-disguised-as-school-bag, and made his weary way home.
.......................................................
One note to readers, this is a frivolous blog. It's pink. Therefore posts are not to be taken seriously. Therefore if I say that I'd like to pull someone's fingernails out and insert them in a painful manner under that same person's toenails before hanging said person from a cactus by his entrails, this means I might have made detailed plans. But that's all.
So when I say 'breaking news', it probably means 'nothing important'.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
My Ultimate Romantic Songs list
I always forget how differently I behave in front of different people. Some people think I'm very mature and serious. It seems as if I've saved all my immaturity for long-suffering bf (LSB). You guys have no idea.
I'm in the mood for music today! But music really makes me tired. Anyways, I decided to compile my Ultimate Romantic Songs List! (URSL) (I've acronymised the world!)
I love this song:
That's All
Artist:Michael Buble
I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all
I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night
That's all,
That's all.
There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.
If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.
Isn't it deliciously soppy? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Ok, next:
On the Street Where You Live
I have often walked down this street before;
But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.
All at once am I
Several stories high.
Knowing I'm on the street where you live.
Are there lilac trees in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour
Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live!
And oh! The towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near.
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear!
People stop and stare.
They don't bother me.
For there's no where else on earth that I would rather be.
Let the time go by, I won't care if I
Can be here on the street where you live.
I've gotta admit I'm not a huge fan of the lyrics for this one. There is such a thing as TOO sappy. But the glorious romantic melody! The strings!
Well, from the same film, I like the lyrics of the next a lot more:
I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face Lyrics
I've grown accustomed to her face.
She almost makes the day begin.
I've grown accustomed to the tune that
She whistles night and noon.
Her smiles, her frowns,
Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now;
Like breathing out and breathing in.
I was serenely independent and content before we met;
Surely I could always be that way again-
And yet I've grown accustomed to her look;
Accustomed to her voice;
Accustomed to her face
This one is such a tender little song... And I've got a thing for Prof Higgins, so... ;)
Ok, I've left out the sad romantic songs, and the non-English/Chinese ones. But my absolute absolute ultimate favourite romantic song would be:
追
張囯榮
曲:李迪文
詞:林夕
這一生也在進取 這分鐘卻挂念誰
我會說是唯獨你不可失去
好風光似幻似虛 誰明人生樂趣
我會說為情為愛仍然是對
誰比你重要 成功了敗了也完全無重要
誰比你重要 狂風與暴雨都因你燃燒
一追再追
只想追趕生命裏一分一秒 原來多麽可笑
你是真正目標
一追再追
追蹤一些生活最基本需要 原來早不缺少
有了你即使平凡卻最重要
好光陰縱沒太多 一分鐘那又如何
會與你共同渡過都不枉過
瘋戀多錯誤更多 如能重新做過
我會說願能為你提前做錯
誰比你重要 成功了敗了也完全無重要
誰比你重要 狂風與暴雨都因你燃燒
一追再追
只想追趕生命裏一分一秒 原來多麽可笑
你是真正目標
一追再追
追蹤一些生活最基本需要 原來早不缺少
有了你即使平凡卻最重要
只想追趕生命裏一分一秒 原來多麽可笑
你是真正目標
一追再追
追蹤一些生活最基本需要 原來早不缺少
只得你會較我仿佛人群裏最重要
有了你即使沉睡了
也在笑
I'll fall in love straightaway with any guy who sings this to me, I swear.
I'm sure I left many songs out. Tsk. Too tired to think.
Ok, let me go swoon now (or rather, let me go read my book now).
I'm in the mood for music today! But music really makes me tired. Anyways, I decided to compile my Ultimate Romantic Songs List! (URSL) (I've acronymised the world!)
I love this song:
That's All
Artist:Michael Buble
I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all
I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night
That's all,
That's all.
There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.
If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.
Isn't it deliciously soppy? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Ok, next:
On the Street Where You Live
I have often walked down this street before;
But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.
All at once am I
Several stories high.
Knowing I'm on the street where you live.
Are there lilac trees in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour
Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live!
And oh! The towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near.
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear!
People stop and stare.
They don't bother me.
For there's no where else on earth that I would rather be.
Let the time go by, I won't care if I
Can be here on the street where you live.
I've gotta admit I'm not a huge fan of the lyrics for this one. There is such a thing as TOO sappy. But the glorious romantic melody! The strings!
Well, from the same film, I like the lyrics of the next a lot more:
I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face Lyrics
I've grown accustomed to her face.
She almost makes the day begin.
I've grown accustomed to the tune that
She whistles night and noon.
Her smiles, her frowns,
Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now;
Like breathing out and breathing in.
I was serenely independent and content before we met;
Surely I could always be that way again-
And yet I've grown accustomed to her look;
Accustomed to her voice;
Accustomed to her face
This one is such a tender little song... And I've got a thing for Prof Higgins, so... ;)
Ok, I've left out the sad romantic songs, and the non-English/Chinese ones. But my absolute absolute ultimate favourite romantic song would be:
追
張囯榮
曲:李迪文
詞:林夕
這一生也在進取 這分鐘卻挂念誰
我會說是唯獨你不可失去
好風光似幻似虛 誰明人生樂趣
我會說為情為愛仍然是對
誰比你重要 成功了敗了也完全無重要
誰比你重要 狂風與暴雨都因你燃燒
一追再追
只想追趕生命裏一分一秒 原來多麽可笑
你是真正目標
一追再追
追蹤一些生活最基本需要 原來早不缺少
有了你即使平凡卻最重要
好光陰縱沒太多 一分鐘那又如何
會與你共同渡過都不枉過
瘋戀多錯誤更多 如能重新做過
我會說願能為你提前做錯
誰比你重要 成功了敗了也完全無重要
誰比你重要 狂風與暴雨都因你燃燒
一追再追
只想追趕生命裏一分一秒 原來多麽可笑
你是真正目標
一追再追
追蹤一些生活最基本需要 原來早不缺少
有了你即使平凡卻最重要
只想追趕生命裏一分一秒 原來多麽可笑
你是真正目標
一追再追
追蹤一些生活最基本需要 原來早不缺少
只得你會較我仿佛人群裏最重要
有了你即使沉睡了
也在笑
I'll fall in love straightaway with any guy who sings this to me, I swear.
I'm sure I left many songs out. Tsk. Too tired to think.
Ok, let me go swoon now (or rather, let me go read my book now).
Monday, January 01, 2007
Music and Mess
Music of the Hemispheres
“When we saw all this activity going on precisely in sync, in this order, we knew we had the smoking gun,” he said. “We’ve always known that music is good for improving your mood. But this showed precisely how it happens.”
Saying Yes to Mess
An anti-anticlutter movement is afoot, one that says yes to mess and urges you to embrace your disorder. Studies are piling up that show that messy desks are the vivid signatures of people with creative, limber minds (who reap higher salaries than those with neat “office landscapes”) and that messy closet owners are probably better parents and nicer and cooler than their tidier counterparts. It’s a movement that confirms what you have known, deep down, all along: really neat people are not avatars of the good life; they are humorless and inflexible prigs, and have way too much time on their hands.
I'd really like to believe this. Mainly because I've been working for months in my living room because there's no more space on my bedroom floor or table for me and my laptop.
“When we saw all this activity going on precisely in sync, in this order, we knew we had the smoking gun,” he said. “We’ve always known that music is good for improving your mood. But this showed precisely how it happens.”
Saying Yes to Mess
An anti-anticlutter movement is afoot, one that says yes to mess and urges you to embrace your disorder. Studies are piling up that show that messy desks are the vivid signatures of people with creative, limber minds (who reap higher salaries than those with neat “office landscapes”) and that messy closet owners are probably better parents and nicer and cooler than their tidier counterparts. It’s a movement that confirms what you have known, deep down, all along: really neat people are not avatars of the good life; they are humorless and inflexible prigs, and have way too much time on their hands.
I'd really like to believe this. Mainly because I've been working for months in my living room because there's no more space on my bedroom floor or table for me and my laptop.
It's all in the name.
Quiz: how will you die? (detailed anwsers with wonderful morbid pics)
..... oh-kay. 'wonderful morbid pics' eh.
I'll probably die of either boredom or lack of sleep. Stick around to see which gets me first. *suspense*
Happy new year.
..... oh-kay. 'wonderful morbid pics' eh.
I'll probably die of either boredom or lack of sleep. Stick around to see which gets me first. *suspense*
Happy new year.
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