It's essay time again!
No matter how long I have to research and write, I always end up doing all the work in less than a day.
I'm freaking amazing I tell you.
This is 40% of my grade!
And I'm feeling complacent.
Because guess what, I've got 800+/4000 words at 12.45am the day the essay is due, and you know, that's kind of better than my usual 'holy shit it's 4am, I'd better start, but what am I to write about' situation.
So I'm doing all these mental calculations in my head, and I'm like, I've gotta be in school by 2pm tomorrow, so let's say I have till 1pm. Factor in 2hrs for stoning + the inevitable 'pls-wake-me-up-in-1hr-but-failing-that-just-give-me-3hrs-more' sleep, that gives me 6 hrs to write 3000 words.
Not bad at all dude. That's about 1/4 of a day.
Oops I forgot to count the 30mins for random incoherent blogging. Slightly less than 1/4 of a day.
Oh yeah, I haven't done any research, so I shall have to search for articles online. Minus another 2hrs.
WTH it's 40% of my grade! Why do I insist on screwing myself over like this? I need therapy.
Showing posts with label essays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label essays. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Work
I need to start thinking about work. Seriously. So I'll combine work and blogging as usual.
I need to write a paper showing that ASEAN is an international society, and it'll probably be more difficult than I initially thought. I'll need to take on realism, constructivism (especially constructivism!) and I'll have to say a word or two on regime theory. The thing is, I have to distinguish between arguing for the merits of the English School and arguing that ASEAN is an international society. I'm so used to arguing the first that I've to be very careful not to mix up the 2 arguments (even though they obviously overlap). So... I know that regime theory is different from ES theories - but the question is, is a regime different from an international society?
Assuming I'm able to do that, I've got to look at the 'meat' of international society theory. What does it mean when you say a group of states form an international society? Since I'm adopting the Hedley Bull approach, I'll probably split it into rules and institutions. So I'll be looking at constitutive, coexistence and cooperative rules, and here I'll have to go back to the formal documents + the 'ASEAN Way'. I'll have to look at instances where these rules came into effect. I'll also have to look at balance of power as the primary primary institution, and see if balance of power in ASEAN fits Bull's framework. And then obviously I'll have to deal with the rest of the institutions. War, especially, stands out, and I'll have to deal with the difference between 'classical' ES theory and practice in ASEAN. Throughout this I'll probably have to keep mentioning common interests and values, and how these common interests and values led states to agree on common rules & institutions.
I suspect (especially when talking about bop) that I'll be borrowing a lot from my lecturer's own work. Which I don't like. I don't know how I can bring anything new, and I'd like to at least put up a small defence (however feeble) against my lecturer's arguments. So I should probably take a close look at his book (haha. sighz).
I can probably take issue with Narine's idea of Southeast Asian international society. (assuming the quote I have is representative of his work)
Note to self: when dealing with Constructivism I should also look at ASEAN-6 vs the rest, and then adopt Narine's point about identity not being a precondition for cooperation.
2nd note to self: I'll have to deal with the changes in the international society throughout ASEAN's history. ASEAN expansion would be a problem in terms of organization of the paper.
I'm writing another paper on performance legitimacy in Singapore, and how it has been shaped by discourses.
Surprisingly, I find that I'm more interested during discussions of Singapore politics than discussions about anything else.
For this one I want to narrow down what I mean by 'shaping' performance legitimacy. 'Shape' in what way?
I have to do more theoretical work on 'performance legitimacy'.
I'm also concerned about sources and causal links. So even though there's stuff in the secondary literature to back me up, I'll want to look at more recent official statements etc.
Hopelessly sleepy. Argh.
I need to write a paper showing that ASEAN is an international society, and it'll probably be more difficult than I initially thought. I'll need to take on realism, constructivism (especially constructivism!) and I'll have to say a word or two on regime theory. The thing is, I have to distinguish between arguing for the merits of the English School and arguing that ASEAN is an international society. I'm so used to arguing the first that I've to be very careful not to mix up the 2 arguments (even though they obviously overlap). So... I know that regime theory is different from ES theories - but the question is, is a regime different from an international society?
Assuming I'm able to do that, I've got to look at the 'meat' of international society theory. What does it mean when you say a group of states form an international society? Since I'm adopting the Hedley Bull approach, I'll probably split it into rules and institutions. So I'll be looking at constitutive, coexistence and cooperative rules, and here I'll have to go back to the formal documents + the 'ASEAN Way'. I'll have to look at instances where these rules came into effect. I'll also have to look at balance of power as the primary primary institution, and see if balance of power in ASEAN fits Bull's framework. And then obviously I'll have to deal with the rest of the institutions. War, especially, stands out, and I'll have to deal with the difference between 'classical' ES theory and practice in ASEAN. Throughout this I'll probably have to keep mentioning common interests and values, and how these common interests and values led states to agree on common rules & institutions.
I suspect (especially when talking about bop) that I'll be borrowing a lot from my lecturer's own work. Which I don't like. I don't know how I can bring anything new, and I'd like to at least put up a small defence (however feeble) against my lecturer's arguments. So I should probably take a close look at his book (haha. sighz).
I can probably take issue with Narine's idea of Southeast Asian international society. (assuming the quote I have is representative of his work)
Note to self: when dealing with Constructivism I should also look at ASEAN-6 vs the rest, and then adopt Narine's point about identity not being a precondition for cooperation.
2nd note to self: I'll have to deal with the changes in the international society throughout ASEAN's history. ASEAN expansion would be a problem in terms of organization of the paper.
I'm writing another paper on performance legitimacy in Singapore, and how it has been shaped by discourses.
Surprisingly, I find that I'm more interested during discussions of Singapore politics than discussions about anything else.
For this one I want to narrow down what I mean by 'shaping' performance legitimacy. 'Shape' in what way?
I have to do more theoretical work on 'performance legitimacy'.
I'm also concerned about sources and causal links. So even though there's stuff in the secondary literature to back me up, I'll want to look at more recent official statements etc.
Hopelessly sleepy. Argh.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Holiday mood rant
I really really need a holiday. I need the type of holiday where everyone gets drunk and we're all too busy having fun to even think about work. Cos guess what? I'll have to bring work with me wherever I go... again. So I need the type of holiday that I usually avoid (usually I want to read).
I'm in the 2nd trimester now (cue pregnancy jokes), but really, it feels like it's been one whole, extra-long, upsized semester.
You working types will probably laugh at my lack of stamina. But I swear studying takes more out of you. (but who am I to say?)
I'm so tired. The past 2 assignments were literally started and completed on the day they were due. Looks like tomorrow's assignment will be the same. I'm so tired, I don't even care about the quality of my papers anymore. I've actually written things I knew were wrong (or rather, very dubious), but I put them in anyway. Anything to get rid of the assignment.
Perhaps part of the problem is I haven't been skipping class. Yes, I know, the sun's been rising from the west these days, or haven't you noticed? I feel compelled to go to class in a way I haven't felt since my primary school days. Not because I particularly enjoy the classes, but simply because.
I hate regular schedules with a vengeance. Even though I only go to school twice a week, I hate the thought of having no choice but to go to school on those 2 days. It starts out as a small irritant, a small loss of freedom, a small price paid. Then after a while, it starts getting on my nerves, and I start feeling really restricted. And school's so far away (by public transport), and it's been raining these days. But I go anyway.
Plus, as always, you don't see me anywhere without my readings. I'm starting to hate that these readings seem to have taken over my life. Even if I don't read them, I take them everywhere, and I keep planning my schedule around them (implementation is another matter). I'm starting to crave being able to take a minuscule/microscopic bag out with me... one that is less than A4, less than A5 even. Something that only has space for cash and lipstick and cell. In fact, I'm tempted to just leave my cell at home.
And no, there's no rest for the weary this holidays. Happy holidays to the happy people of the world anyway. *bitter*
I've been ultra-whiny these few days. Apologies to all, especially long-suffering bf.
Also, looks like I've to reluctantly turn down get-tipsy offer from J, cos my family's travelling early Sat morn. Thanks for the offer though. I'm really tempted, and if everything had been different... *sighs regretfully*
*whine*
Well, hopefully with that out of my system I can finally start writing this darn review.
I'm in the 2nd trimester now (cue pregnancy jokes), but really, it feels like it's been one whole, extra-long, upsized semester.
You working types will probably laugh at my lack of stamina. But I swear studying takes more out of you. (but who am I to say?)
I'm so tired. The past 2 assignments were literally started and completed on the day they were due. Looks like tomorrow's assignment will be the same. I'm so tired, I don't even care about the quality of my papers anymore. I've actually written things I knew were wrong (or rather, very dubious), but I put them in anyway. Anything to get rid of the assignment.
Perhaps part of the problem is I haven't been skipping class. Yes, I know, the sun's been rising from the west these days, or haven't you noticed? I feel compelled to go to class in a way I haven't felt since my primary school days. Not because I particularly enjoy the classes, but simply because.
I hate regular schedules with a vengeance. Even though I only go to school twice a week, I hate the thought of having no choice but to go to school on those 2 days. It starts out as a small irritant, a small loss of freedom, a small price paid. Then after a while, it starts getting on my nerves, and I start feeling really restricted. And school's so far away (by public transport), and it's been raining these days. But I go anyway.
Plus, as always, you don't see me anywhere without my readings. I'm starting to hate that these readings seem to have taken over my life. Even if I don't read them, I take them everywhere, and I keep planning my schedule around them (implementation is another matter). I'm starting to crave being able to take a minuscule/microscopic bag out with me... one that is less than A4, less than A5 even. Something that only has space for cash and lipstick and cell. In fact, I'm tempted to just leave my cell at home.
And no, there's no rest for the weary this holidays. Happy holidays to the happy people of the world anyway. *bitter*
I've been ultra-whiny these few days. Apologies to all, especially long-suffering bf.
Also, looks like I've to reluctantly turn down get-tipsy offer from J, cos my family's travelling early Sat morn. Thanks for the offer though. I'm really tempted, and if everything had been different... *sighs regretfully*
*whine*
Well, hopefully with that out of my system I can finally start writing this darn review.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Why I need a thesis supervisor with a sense of humour
Thesis Sup (referring to outline): So, what do you mean by 'ASEAN multilateralism'?
Me: Erm... well... I guess the ASEAN Way? Wait, what am I thinking. Erm... give me a minute. *closes eyes, opens eyes, but he hasn't disappeared yet* I guess I mean ASEAN attempts at multilateral diplomacy?
...
TS: What is this section supposed to accomplish?
Me: Hmmm. I think I thought that with this section, I could... *blah*
...
TS: Ok, so you can review this book for next Friday.
Me: Erm, the deadline for the book review is this Friday.
TS: The deadline is this Friday and you haven't even chosen your book?
Me: *laughs nervously* *bites tongue to stop self from telling him I also have an essay due tomorrow that I haven't started on*
(Yes, I know my classmates talked to you about the book review like, 3 weeks ago. Damn those civil servants.)
...
TS: What is your writing style? Are you the type who waits till the last minute to write or...
Me: *nods emphatically*
TS: I had a feeling you would say that.
Me: *kicks self for nodding too emphatically*
...
TS: It sounds exciting.
Me: *realizing that nothing is going to improve my image, sticks tongue out at him and tries to act cute*
In the end, I waltzed out of his office with a pink, furry halo of hard-earned bimboticness.
He saw the sheen of stark panic in my eyes, and verily, he was amused.
This is also the reason why I avoid meeting my supervisors until I've submitted my thesis. Just so they don't get scared off.
Me: Erm... well... I guess the ASEAN Way? Wait, what am I thinking. Erm... give me a minute. *closes eyes, opens eyes, but he hasn't disappeared yet* I guess I mean ASEAN attempts at multilateral diplomacy?
...
TS: What is this section supposed to accomplish?
Me: Hmmm. I think I thought that with this section, I could... *blah*
...
TS: Ok, so you can review this book for next Friday.
Me: Erm, the deadline for the book review is this Friday.
TS: The deadline is this Friday and you haven't even chosen your book?
Me: *laughs nervously* *bites tongue to stop self from telling him I also have an essay due tomorrow that I haven't started on*
(Yes, I know my classmates talked to you about the book review like, 3 weeks ago. Damn those civil servants.)
...
TS: What is your writing style? Are you the type who waits till the last minute to write or...
Me: *nods emphatically*
TS: I had a feeling you would say that.
Me: *kicks self for nodding too emphatically*
...
TS: It sounds exciting.
Me: *realizing that nothing is going to improve my image, sticks tongue out at him and tries to act cute*
In the end, I waltzed out of his office with a pink, furry halo of hard-earned bimboticness.
He saw the sheen of stark panic in my eyes, and verily, he was amused.
This is also the reason why I avoid meeting my supervisors until I've submitted my thesis. Just so they don't get scared off.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Bad day
I've been an idiot :P Ah well, what's new?
Research is essentially a solitary enterprise. It's simply learning and knowing and thinking... all by yourself. Even if you discuss with someone else, or work in a team, you're all on your own. The thoughts are all yours, the work's all yours. Even if you get a research assistant, there's no escaping it. Writing is so individualistic, I can't see how any academic can survive without an invincible self-esteem. When it comes to academia, I have a huge inferiority complex. :P
The past few weeks have been so hectic, and I've been constantly surrounded by people, so it's difficult to get back into research mode. Usually I'm good with solitude. I like solitude. Solitude tastes like tea without sugar or milk. Tea without sugar and milk is my alone-drink. But solitude + research + out of town bf really takes some getting used to.
I'm not a sports person. Far from it. But as long as I'm not wearing heels and not carrying too much stuff, no one's ever been able to outwalk me. I walk when I can't get my thoughts straightened out (which is often the case these days). Unfortunately, walking doesn't straighten my thoughts out. Looks like walking is my substitute for thinking. Sometimes I miss having someone walk with me.
Argh I'm so worn out.
Research is essentially a solitary enterprise. It's simply learning and knowing and thinking... all by yourself. Even if you discuss with someone else, or work in a team, you're all on your own. The thoughts are all yours, the work's all yours. Even if you get a research assistant, there's no escaping it. Writing is so individualistic, I can't see how any academic can survive without an invincible self-esteem. When it comes to academia, I have a huge inferiority complex. :P
The past few weeks have been so hectic, and I've been constantly surrounded by people, so it's difficult to get back into research mode. Usually I'm good with solitude. I like solitude. Solitude tastes like tea without sugar or milk. Tea without sugar and milk is my alone-drink. But solitude + research + out of town bf really takes some getting used to.
I'm not a sports person. Far from it. But as long as I'm not wearing heels and not carrying too much stuff, no one's ever been able to outwalk me. I walk when I can't get my thoughts straightened out (which is often the case these days). Unfortunately, walking doesn't straighten my thoughts out. Looks like walking is my substitute for thinking. Sometimes I miss having someone walk with me.
Argh I'm so worn out.
Friday, November 10, 2006
It's over!
The end of my misery and the beginning of my embarrassment. I've just submitted a really lousy paper that I'll probably have to present to a strange, hostile, condescending audience.
I decided to travel beyond my safe, familiar neighbourhood to explore the world. And of course beyond my safe, familiar neighbourhood, big bad wolves lurk. I think I just lost a limb or two.
*cries her way home*
I'll never take risks again!
(see NUS Graduate Employment Survey below. Now you know what my honest answer is.)
I decided to travel beyond my safe, familiar neighbourhood to explore the world. And of course beyond my safe, familiar neighbourhood, big bad wolves lurk. I think I just lost a limb or two.
*cries her way home*
I'll never take risks again!
(see NUS Graduate Employment Survey below. Now you know what my honest answer is.)
Monday, November 06, 2006
In a Rut (just my life in general)
My brain can't wrap itself round the idea of writing a paper that has nothing to do with politics... I find myself reading for a political angle even though That Is Not What I Want. Maybe I should give up the fight and just write something on politics.
And I keep thinking about the paper I submitted on Friday, largely because it's for the module that I lost 25% for during the exams, so I really need to do well for that essay. Unfortunately, procrastination being a hard habit to break, I submitted a really dubious paper. Sighz.
My poor darling honeymunchkins is not feeling well, so being the sweet, committed girlfriend I am, I went out with my girl friends today and bought a ridiculously expensive tin of safflower & orange flower cookies. Which I'm going to eat because my darling honeymunchkins shouldn't be eating expensive cookies right now. Get well soon, honeymunchkins! *sends smooches from afar*
And I keep thinking about the paper I submitted on Friday, largely because it's for the module that I lost 25% for during the exams, so I really need to do well for that essay. Unfortunately, procrastination being a hard habit to break, I submitted a really dubious paper. Sighz.
My poor darling honeymunchkins is not feeling well, so being the sweet, committed girlfriend I am, I went out with my girl friends today and bought a ridiculously expensive tin of safflower & orange flower cookies. Which I'm going to eat because my darling honeymunchkins shouldn't be eating expensive cookies right now. Get well soon, honeymunchkins! *sends smooches from afar*
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Congrats to me!
This is the first time in years that I've finished an essay before midnight on the day before the assignment is due. I really can't remember the last time I've done this... Secondary school? (oh wait, I've blocked out the HT again)
Well, part of the reason is the deadline's been extended at the last minute twice, so I've already done quite a lot of work for it. Also, we've got to submit the essay through turnitin, and I was deathly afraid that the site would detect plagiarism in my essay when I swear to (insert name of deity) I did not plagiarize at all. Thank (insert name of deity) according to turnitin, less than 1% of my essay is a result of dastardly deeds.
I don't know about you, but this is pretty scary for me. It's as if there has been a subtle change in my world-view. Like I just found out it's not gravity that's pulling me to the ground, but my body's attraction to all that melted chocolate in the center of the earth. And the sun? That's a big orange jawbreaker with an inflated ego.
The superstitious part of me is wondering nervously whether submitting a paper before midnight means I'm not going to do well. It's like the way I always spend all the time I have left flipping my exam script, because by gawd it doesn't matter if I'm not actually reading or changing anything. If I don't flip these papers I'm going to fail.
I'm feeling a bit lost and aimless now. I fully expected to stay up all night, because that's how essays are written. But it's 1am now, and there're so many hours till daybreak, and my essay is done, so I don't have to stay up, but I still have so much time, and it's not right to go to school on the day an essay is due without looking like the undead, but my essay is done, so what shall I do... *mumbles*
Time - in which I don't have to do an essay - is stretching luxuriously before me. Youtube beckons.
Well, part of the reason is the deadline's been extended at the last minute twice, so I've already done quite a lot of work for it. Also, we've got to submit the essay through turnitin, and I was deathly afraid that the site would detect plagiarism in my essay when I swear to (insert name of deity) I did not plagiarize at all. Thank (insert name of deity) according to turnitin, less than 1% of my essay is a result of dastardly deeds.
I don't know about you, but this is pretty scary for me. It's as if there has been a subtle change in my world-view. Like I just found out it's not gravity that's pulling me to the ground, but my body's attraction to all that melted chocolate in the center of the earth. And the sun? That's a big orange jawbreaker with an inflated ego.
The superstitious part of me is wondering nervously whether submitting a paper before midnight means I'm not going to do well. It's like the way I always spend all the time I have left flipping my exam script, because by gawd it doesn't matter if I'm not actually reading or changing anything. If I don't flip these papers I'm going to fail.
I'm feeling a bit lost and aimless now. I fully expected to stay up all night, because that's how essays are written. But it's 1am now, and there're so many hours till daybreak, and my essay is done, so I don't have to stay up, but I still have so much time, and it's not right to go to school on the day an essay is due without looking like the undead, but my essay is done, so what shall I do... *mumbles*
Time - in which I don't have to do an essay - is stretching luxuriously before me. Youtube beckons.
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