London riots

As much of a cliche as it is, I can feel a real sense of pain from the 'nation', or rather, the myriad populations here in the UK. There is great bewilderment at the violence that has seemingly erupted from nowhere and the sheer inability of the state's forces to cope. People are asking why so many youths have suddenly decided to 'turn on their own communities', a phrase that has been used over and over, and how this has happened.

Some point to the structural marginalisation of disaffected youths, with little in terms of a future and job prospects, ignored and condemned by society, suspicious of the authorities who have always been suspicious of them, who have no voice, frustrations to vent and nothing to lose. They say that this violence was only a matter of time. Others call the violence plain hooliganism with immoral, opportunistic looters simply out to get goods for free. They say that these youths have had every opportunity to better themselves but have chosen not to out of pure laziness, and that socio-economic justifications for the violence are pure hogwash. Still others resort to the 'culture' argument, talking about the breakdown in values and the failure of parents to instill the correct values in their kids.

I think that there are structural factors underlying the violence. It is true that these youths feel as if they have been marginalised, and that they have no stake in this society. To a large extent their frustrations are justified. However, the fact that there are structural causes of the violence does not take away the moral responsibility of the perpetrators for what they have done. A cause is not a justification. That they chose to vent their frustrations in this way, that they chose to acquire a voice in this way, that they chose to drown that voice in the clamour of greed and selfishness and thoughtlessness, that they chose to hurt others who were largely innocent of any wrongdoing - these are choices that are not acceptable. Yes, they were dealt a bad hand, but this does not automatically exempt them from making the right choices, and I fully support dealing harshly with them, if the state's resources allow.

The presence of law and order in any state is always an illusion predicated on the acquiescence of its population. When even a significant minority refuses to respect law and order, the illusion breaks down and lawlessness is easily married with impunity - this is, after all, the principle behind civil disobedience. 'Rioting' is cathartic, and when a critical mass of people is reached, it is also strangely easy, especially in a state where the government is unwilling to turn its full capacity for violence on its own people. But sometimes there is no easy path that is also morally justifiable.

When all is said and done, something needs to change about the system. The 'rioting' is an immediate problem that needs to be solved; the 'rioting' is also a symptom of a larger problem. For too long we have looked down our noses at the youths roaming the streets in loud, rowdy gangs, dismissing them as stupid 'street trash' who will never amount to anything, and never looking at the reasons they are this way. We forget that they are also looking at us looking at them, and we forget that they feel our disdain and react in anger. We forget that they are human too. That the riots have called our attention to this does not absolve the rioters of responsibility, for to make that argument would be to once again deny the agency of these youths; it has merely reminded us that we are responsible too. We cannot stand apart from the riots and judge, for we were complicit as well.

Phone hacking!

Phone hacking: Hunt worried Murdoch 'was not told'

Jeremy Hunt has said News Corporation still has questions to answer about why Rupert Murdoch and other executives did not know about the extent of phone hacking at the News of the World.

There're quite a number of people who don't believe the Murdochs' 'ignorant & betrayed' defence. I don't know really, I think it's not as clear-cut as that. I thnk in a big organisation, responsibility & judgement becomes diffused almost. It's too easy to 'choose to know as little as possible', or see dubious practices as 'the way things are done', or to decide to 'let someone else think about it because I've got more urgent things on my plate'. All those little sins of negligence that culminate in a significant wrong. I'm not surprised that something like this could happen, and I think that while the specific crime might not be the same, malpractices, large or small, are probably present in any big organisation. When in a large enough group, the crime of many becomes the crime of none.

Truth & Reality

This is just one of those things that happens occasionally to me.

I was shopping aimlessly when suddenly I thought to myself 'Yes, truth and reality are separate and distinct.' Then a moment of panic when I couldn't help but think 'But why? And how? Omg do I not know this? How can something be real but not true? How can something be true but not real? What is the point of my life if I don't know this?'

After which I mass sms-ed all the people I thought could give me an answer.

Those who didn't get my sms, you know who you are. And now you even know what I think of you.

Those who did get an sms, to tell the truth, I set the bar pretty low.

Anyway, the moment I sent out my x no. of smses, I suddenly realised that there was something wrong with my question because 'real' and 'truth' relate to different things.

Quite simply, 'real' relates to the existence of something. Doesn't need to be a corporeal existence as long as it's an existence. 'True' relates to statements of fact.

So I can say 'The cat is real.' And then I can say 'That statement (the statement that the cat is real) is true.' Or untrue. 'Real' refers to the cat; the cat is real because it exists. 'True' refers to the statement of fact about the cat (that it exists); the statement is true if the cat is real, and it is untrue if the cat is not real. We can't say that the cat is 'true' or 'not true'.

If I say that a statement is real I mean that it exists. If I say that a statement is true I mean that it accurately tells us what reality is.

Reality & truth are still linked very closely. but in this way:

Can a statement that an object is real be untrue if the object is real (exists)? No.

Can a statement that an object is real be true if the object is not real (does not exist)? No.

True statements reflect reality, but essentially, truth and reality reside in different objects, so my question was itself flawed.

I know, I know. This is totally dumb and there's absolutely no reason why I should be thinking about this, and there're probably many anti-reasons for actually spending a whole blog on this. But I truly had to get it out of my system. Seriously, have you ever had a question haunt you? No? You suck.

The solution seems simple enough to me now. I just hope I don't wake up tomorrow and realise that everything I've said here is flawed and have to think about it all over again.

One turn away from the woods

I've been following this blog for some time, even though the author of the blog doesn't update very frequently nowadays.

The blog's author is a young lady who ended up living in her car on a quiet lane in the woods. She's now no longer homeless, and is about to publish a book. Having been a silent reader of her blog from before she clinched the book deal, I honestly feel very happy for her.

(I know it sounds as if I should start the next sentence with a 'but'. But there's no 'but' here.)

What I find intriguing and compelling about her story is how you can lose your way with just a few wrong turns, and when you look around, you suddenly find that you're all alone in the woods. And how there're probably many many others like her, who haven't had her good fortune.

Contentment

I've realized (with some surprise) that these days I've been more contented and comfortable than I've been in a long long time.

Yes, I whine about loads of stuff, like work, the weather, life and the universe.

But generally, I'm kind of happy.

Maybe it's got to do with my decision to not think about graduate studies/work yet. Maybe it's because of the free and easy (but horribly busy) schedule I have nowadays, allowing me to plan my time as I like (although that'll change soon). Maybe it's because my supervisor already has no illusions about me since I've totally let on that I'm prone to laziness and am unable to communicate with humans without making funny faces at them.

Somehow I feel unbeholden to anyone, no longer perpetually guilty about not being the person people think I am/expect me to be. Which is perhaps why nowadays I've acquired an alarming tendency to whine/act cute, which is the kind of person I really am inside, just that you never knew hehe...

We'll see how long this lasts. I've been hesitant about writing about my new-found contentment, because I'm never sure how temporary these things are. Probably by next week I'll be in the middle of an earth-shaking tragedy as I realise how hopelessly incompetent I am at managing a bunch of undergraduates.

Breaking news

"I don't know how some people can be so effortlessly elegant," Friend comments as she brushes crumbs off herself.

"Yeah, totally." I start picking crumbs off myself too.

"They have such poise, such manners... and they know exactly which utensils to use." Friend looks pointedly at me while I pick my croissant up, ignoring fork and knife.

(My hazy impression of that very early Friday morning breakfast conversation. And I've kindly left Friend anonymous.)

.................................................

The bus-stop outside my house is right next to a semi-d, which houses one very big (and cute!) retriever (I'd say golden, but actually it looks off-white).

The reason I know this (despite the non-transparent fence that circles the semi-d) is because I regularly peer under fences (and toilet doors and skirts), and therefore spied four hairy (canine) legs. And because I like to fancy myself a FOD (friend of dogs), I always cluck away at it. It usually responds by lying flat on the ground next to the fence, and sticking its snout out at me, which is about all it can manage, given the fence. And I get to peer into the sad soulful eyes of a wolf-at-heart who would love to pounce on irritating-human-who-sounds (and probably tastes)-like-chicken and rip out my throat if not for this... darn... fence...

...............................................

At this same bus-stop yesterday, a School Bus made a slow and stately stop, and regurgitated a Small Boy.

This particular specimen of Small Boy must be privy to some Small Boy ritual that I'm ignorant of, cos I got quite a scare when he screamed 'TOILET PAPER' at the School Bus. And from within the cavernous depths of the School Bus came a 'TOILET PAPER' that was dripping with contempt and sounded very much like a kid-sized (but very heavy) gauntlet slapping the floor. Or a dirty martini cascading over coiffured hair and 1 inch of cosmetics in public.

A great fury rose from within the innermost core of our Small Boy, and behold! he shook with righteous indignation, a pale flush staining his lily cheeks. From that same innermost core (it's a big one, so it can hold things like 'great furies' and large amounts of half-digested candy), and with Herculean Effort, our Small Boy expelled a last 'TOILET PAPER!!!!!!' at the departing bus, a war-cry that seemed to vibrate through the whole of his defiant, youthful (if somewhat vertically challenged) being.

And then the enemy fled to fight another day, and pursuit was hopeless, and the battle over, and the toilet flushed, and the sun set upon the wealth of the earth, and the moon rose like a queen to her throne (and so on), so he allowed his maid to help him with his armour-disguised-as-school-bag, and made his weary way home.

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One note to readers, this is a frivolous blog. It's pink. Therefore posts are not to be taken seriously. Therefore if I say that I'd like to pull someone's fingernails out and insert them in a painful manner under that same person's toenails before hanging said person from a cactus by his entrails, this means I might have made detailed plans. But that's all.

So when I say 'breaking news', it probably means 'nothing important'.

It's all in the name.

Quiz: how will you die? (detailed anwsers with wonderful morbid pics)

..... oh-kay. 'wonderful morbid pics' eh.

I'll probably die of either boredom or lack of sleep. Stick around to see which gets me first. *suspense*

Happy new year.

1st Christmas on justareed

Merry Christmas everyone! Enjoy the celebrations and/or break from work!

I've been complaining about work these few days. But the moment I get free time I happily, voluntarily start researching. Because I want to. Go figure. I think that probably the best way to get me to do work is to give me a holiday.

Curse of the Golden Flower is a good show. Go forth and watch! Unfortunately Jay is a really really really lousy actor. In the only scene where he had any real acting to do, people actually laughed. You've gotta do better than that, Jay. Especially since everyone else on the cast is a pretty good actor/actress. But I like the song hee.

This is ruining my life

Why is no one impressed by my newfound ability (thanks to James）to type in Chinese? 爲什麽?

Studying the wrong thing

Ed, pls note.

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Yay consistency :P

Too much drama

I figured that if I was going all the way to the airport, I might as well go there early so I could study there.

Unfortunately, I didn't count on me being me. I was so bored and sleepy, I locked myself in a toilet cubicle, just so I didn't have to act like a normal, functional adult.

If you haven't realised (which tends to be the case for people who don't lock themselves in toilet cubicles unless absolutely necessary), a toilet cubicle is a boring place unless you have pressing matters to attend to inside the cubicle. And being a product of modern society, my sole source of entertainment was my handphone. So I started taking pictures of myself in the cubicle (from the neck up only!). If anybody is interested, I've got a rather boring sound recording of people washing their hands.

Maybe I'll tell you about my encounters (all in the past week!) with hookers, sex maniacs, film-makers and civil servants some other time.

PS. If you think you know the author of this blog, let me assure you that you've got it all wrong. That girl you know? She would never consider locking herself in the toilet for 20 mins. Never. And the handphone antics? Not a chance. Just remember the next time you see her, She Didn't Write This. In fact, she spent those 20mins identifying her dissertation research question and she finished the 3 books she brought with her to the airport. Yeah, that's what she did.

Bad day

I've been an idiot :P Ah well, what's new?

Research is essentially a solitary enterprise. It's simply learning and knowing and thinking... all by yourself. Even if you discuss with someone else, or work in a team, you're all on your own. The thoughts are all yours, the work's all yours. Even if you get a research assistant, there's no escaping it. Writing is so individualistic, I can't see how any academic can survive without an invincible self-esteem. When it comes to academia, I have a huge inferiority complex. :P

The past few weeks have been so hectic, and I've been constantly surrounded by people, so it's difficult to get back into research mode. Usually I'm good with solitude. I like solitude. Solitude tastes like tea without sugar or milk. Tea without sugar and milk is my alone-drink. But solitude + research + out of town bf really takes some getting used to.

I'm not a sports person. Far from it. But as long as I'm not wearing heels and not carrying too much stuff, no one's ever been able to outwalk me. I walk when I can't get my thoughts straightened out (which is often the case these days). Unfortunately, walking doesn't straighten my thoughts out. Looks like walking is my substitute for thinking. Sometimes I miss having someone walk with me.

Argh I'm so worn out.

Words heard

Seen in a female mag - 'chiffon and ruffles for a Marie Antoinette chic'. What? The headless kind?

Seen on cubicle doors of Far East toilet (female of course) - 'bidet'. Like your regular Far East-going population would know what a 'bidet' is.

Actually, I haven't really had the chance to talk about the trip to Taipei. What struck me most was how so many people were interested in freedom of speech/democracy/blogs. (My paper was on politicized blogging in S'pore, which has nothing to do with what I'm studying now, but heck.) The comment I received most frequently was 'I was listening to your presentation, and I was struck by how similar your country is to mine!' Hmmm.

If you look closely at the news, you'll find plenty of blog-related developments. Eg. China may make bloggers give ID. Thanks to James for this one, I've just stopped keeping tabs after I got the paper over and done with. :P

Oh, and let me whine about how Singapore's bookstores never carry the books I need. *whine*

In the Mood for Music

Argh this isn't a time for one of my music moods to come along. I don't have the time.

Digging up all my old CDs, and listening to songs I haven't listened to for a long long time. I can't seem to concentrate on anything else when I'm in this mood. (besides blogging that is)

Listening to someone's playing for the 1st time is an important thing for me, largely because it's just important lar. Don't ask me why. :P

And I really don't have the time. Argh.

Oh, and I don't just need a bag. I need The Bag. The kind of bag Superman brings to the Sun when his arms are occupied with carrying Lois Lane and he's got no pockets to store his toiletries and the Empire State Building (all the better to swing around, my dear). The kind of bag that laughs at the thought of falling apart because it is Superman's Choice. The kind of bag that will never break before my shoulder does, and preferably the kind of bag that I can hang around my neck/waist/toe even after my shoulder breaks. Because I'm just so tired of having bags fall apart on me.

back from taipei

Just got back from Taipei, which is a really lovely city. I'm in love with the people there haha... and the international delegates as well! *big muackz*

I guess I learnt a lot too. However, now's not the time to talk about that. Just finished settling some stuff, really braindead, and off to either get some sleep or play the piano.

But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

This is funny!

So what's with all the dinosaurs?
The world's first Creationist museum - dedicated to the idea that the creation of the world, as told in Genesis, is factually correct - will soon open. Stephen Bates is given a sneak preview and asks: was there really a tyrannosaurus in the Bible?
I love the mailing list I'm on. I'm always astounded at the weird people who actually walk the earth. That, my dear, is the real miracle.

Neurosis

Today in school I saw a girl wearing a familiar t-shirt. It turned out to be the GEP 20th anniversary shirt. My first reaction was utter disgust, cos who goes around wearing a GEP shirt? Your primary school shirt, no problem. I walked around in a 1993 Teochew clan association t-shirt inherited from my cousin (who probably got it for free) until I finally decided to dump it in 2005. Do the maths yourself. I've got saucy t-shirts that amuse my friends to no end and have raised a few eyebrows (eg. at the Student Affairs Office today). But a GEP t-shirt is plain bad taste.

Ah... the neurosis. Golden Rule: Never let anyone know you're a gepper unless under torture or insistent questioning. If you break this rule you're an arrogant show-off. Geppers should be aware of the dirtiness of their past and should be properly defensive and secretive about that bloody period of their lives. (it's like being an ex-Nazi in Israel. You don't exactly go around sporting Hitler memorabilia.) This rule does not apply if you're blogging.

It also seems as if geppers combine an overweening, arrogant sense of destiny with a neurotic (that word again!) but similarly arrogant inferiority complex. Geppers are supposed to achieve everything, and if they haven't, they wander about all day wondering why they haven't become the 1st Singaporean to become the President of the United States yet and angsting about whether this means that they're actually (I can't even say this without an existential fear gripping my being {haha}) dumb.

Geppers also like to blame their disastrous lives, lack of social skills, poor grades, emotional breakdowns, relationship problems, lack of direction, inability to finish work on time, even their successes that are actually failures (omg why did I get an A when I actually wanted a B?) on GEP. Geppers are therefore sincerely apologetic for not being grateful enough for the unfair advantages conferred upon them by the use of taxpayers' money.

Note: pls ignore all generalizations made in this post.

Can you join MI6 as a linguist?

Check Your Skills We are currently looking for linguists with written and spoken fluency in Arabic, Persian, Urdu, Chinese and Spanish. We will be recruiting for other languages at a later date so if your skills are in other languages please bookmark this site and keep checking it.
Click on the language you are interested in to test your skills.

I pass the test for Chinese... But for French, if I get 3 (actually 3.5!) out of 5 right (and after much hair-tearing), would they still consider me?

It seems that the Chinese test is easier than the French one (I don't understand the rest, sorry). I mean, a write-up on a simple survey vs an exposition on Debussy?

Hey... no wonder I didn't get all the French ones right. (haha...)

Disclaimer: I have no intention of joining MI6, I think James Bond is a bit of a bastard, and I'm not Brit anyway.

My original colour

I wanted to buy concealer, because I'd finished my last pot after... 1?2? years? (yes, I know you're not supposed to keep them for that long). Because I'm an idiot when it comes to makeup, I asked the salesgirl to help me choose a colour.

Salesgirl: What's your original colour?

Me: *chortle*

*imaginary conversation ensues*

Me: Oh, I used to be this lovely shade of royal purple, but it's so difficult to match clothes and accessories. I mean, I could only wear gold, green, silver and white! So I got a new paint job.

Sg: I know what you mean! I was born scarlet myself, and trust me, while it's striking, you look like a walking bull's eye. And I got all these jokes during Chinese New Year...

Me: Ya, it's so difficult choosing skin colour these days, especially since we have to blend in with this yellow crowd here...

Sg: Totally! By the way, when was the last time the mothership contacted you?

*imaginary conversation ends*

Sg (looks mildly offended): Because when people get a tan, I usually ask them to go back to their original colour before getting makeup.

Me: Oh... right...

NUS Graduate Employment Survey 2006

This is Q.39 from the survey (see title)

39. What are your reasons for not being interested in becoming an entrepreneur?
(Please check boxes that are applicable)
1. Afraid to undertake risk - I prefer to stay within my comfort zone.
2. An entrepreneur is born, not made.
3. Culture in Singapore is not suitable for entrepreneurship.
4. Difficult to obtain government grants and subsidies.
5. Difficult to obtain information on entrepreneurship.
6. Domestic market is too small to support market players.
7. Education system here does not encourage initiative.
8. Fear approaching others to discuss my business concepts.
9. Fear of failure.
10. Lack of personal financial resources (e.g. savings & liquid assets) to pull off entrepreneurship.
11. Lack of support from my parents and relatives.
12. Lack of support from my peers.
13. Lack the persona for it.
14. Lack the skill sets required of entrepreneurship (e.g. communication, strategic thinking & networking).
15. Need a regular job to finance commitments (e.g. support siblings & parents, paying for the apartment, etc).
16. No idea what business to pull off.
17. Not fortunate enough to be born into a conducive environment (e.g. educated parents, old money, etc).
18. Not inspired - there is a lack of success stories that I can identify with.
19. Not interested in Local Market - better opportunities elsewhere.
20. Parents have expectations of what I should be.
21. Usually do not plan so far ahead. I just see where life goes from here.
22. Others (Please specify)

I chose others, and specified: i've other goals. y do these options associate lack of interest in biz with some sort of deficiency?

I don't really understand this. Is this some type of ideological manipulation where they hope that by forcing you to associate negative traits with lack of entrepreneurial desire you'll feel obliged to become an entrepreneur?