Mayday concert:
This was my first rock/pop concert. I kept wondering where the druggies and drunkards and strippers (or the drugged, drunk strippers) were. Is no one keeping the spirit of rock and roll alive?!?!?!
I never realised how good Mayday is. The lead singer went out of tune quite often actually, but I'm amazed that his voice lasted the whole concert. Talk about stamina. Also, he's cute and so earnest heh. The guitars & drums were good too! Though they still sound better on the record. What really impressed me was how sincere they sounded. No tongue-in-cheek glibness there. I believe they might actually believe what they're singing.
But I still say we should have shouted political slogans during the less noisy intervals. I wanted to shout "中国统一，反对台独!" (trans: One China policy, oppose Taiwanese independence) but my friend didn't want to shout with me. :(
The funny thing was, at one point in the concert, they had images of Che Guevara onscreen. And at another, they had images from what I think were paintings of the American Revolution. They even had Abraham Lincoln! Talk about strange bed-partners. Communists and Americans. But I suppose the idea was resisting oppression, fighting for ideals etc, which would kind of fit into their overall theme of leaving the earth - transcending the material, searching for utopia, idealism and so on. (According to my friend they're Beatles-inspired.)
Strangely enough, while they were singing about revolution, leaving the world behind, abandoning pragmatism for idealism, they also made sure to sell their concert tickets for a very exorbitant price. They also read out the list of sponsors, and prompted the audience to cheer loudly for the sponsors. I didn't know the concert was supposed to have a commercial break. :P
So revolutionism and idealism are constantly subverted, and turn into commercialism.
I doubt many members of the audience would go home and live the ideals in the Mayday songs they so fanatically sang/screamed to during the concert.
I did a lot of screaming and singing myself, if only because I was determined not to let my money go down the drain. So for me it was a conscious decision to 'suspend disbelief', as the literature/arty-farty types would say, and participate. Besides the desire to make the most of sunk costs though, I also noticed that there was a desire to participate for the sake of being part of entire performance. I wanted to sing along so that I could be part of the music-making myself. Yet this sense of participation was more or less false, largely because I couldn't even hear myself in all that ruckus.
But the sense of participation was important. It's a sense that what you do is important to the concert. Hence they make you scream for an encore, even though they've already planned to return to the stage. They make you do silly things like jump in time, and spell out LOVE with your arms. They tell you that it's your voice that's beautiful (which, trust me, is a bloody lie). All in all your screaming and singing is not particularly important to anyone except yourself.
The whole concert looked a lot like a cult gathering. Wild-eyed people were waving glowing phallic symbols (lightsticks) to the same throbbing beat, they were screaming the same songs, they robotically performed the same motions, they stomped their feet and swayed, and they fanatically adored Mayday. No wonder there're so many associations between rock music and satanic cults. The whole thing was like a mass hypnosis. Some people even raised their hands with both palms facing out, the way I've seen Christians do in church while they're singing.
Come to think of it, lightsticks are pretty much like candles aren't they? Why do you even need lightsticks at a concert? To show that you, the individual, are here? Because it makes you feel seen? And therefore contributes to the (false) sense of participation? In the dark, without a lightstick, no one would notice you. But even with the lightstick, who sees you, the individual?
In any case, people filed out quite matter-of-factly when the concert was finally over.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind.
- Shakespeare
Monday, June 04, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Mayday Concert!
Just came back from the concert! *jumps around and screams*
More on the concert in the next post, too braindead to write my post-concert thoughts.
In the meantime, my favourite Mayday song:
生命有一种绝对
如果我 不曾走过这一遍
生命中 还有多少苦 和甜美
那风中的歌声 孤单哽咽的声音是谁
回忆中 那个少年 为何依然不停的追
想要征服的世界 始终都没有改变
那地上 无声蒸发 我的泪
黑暗中期待光线 生命有一种绝对
等待我 请等待我 直到約定融化成笑颜
那生命 绚烂烟火般上演
你和我 最后都要回归地平线
那留下的足跡 浪花沖走 回忆海岸线
靠近我 再拥抱我 请不要让我 的心冷却
等待我 请等待我 靠近我 再拥抱我
不要走 请不要走 直到約定融化成笑颜
直到我看見 生命的绝对
More on the concert in the next post, too braindead to write my post-concert thoughts.
In the meantime, my favourite Mayday song:
生命有一种绝对
如果我 不曾走过这一遍
生命中 还有多少苦 和甜美
那风中的歌声 孤单哽咽的声音是谁
回忆中 那个少年 为何依然不停的追
想要征服的世界 始终都没有改变
那地上 无声蒸发 我的泪
黑暗中期待光线 生命有一种绝对
等待我 请等待我 直到約定融化成笑颜
那生命 绚烂烟火般上演
你和我 最后都要回归地平线
那留下的足跡 浪花沖走 回忆海岸线
靠近我 再拥抱我 请不要让我 的心冷却
等待我 请等待我 靠近我 再拥抱我
不要走 请不要走 直到約定融化成笑颜
直到我看見 生命的绝对
Saturday, June 02, 2007
quotes
My friend has, of all things, asked me to find a quote to be engraved on her iPod. While brainstorming, I decided to look through my database of favourite quotes/poems.
Yeats
"Let us go forth, the tellers of tales, and seize whatever prey the heart long for, and have no fear. Everything exists, everything is true, and the earth is only a little dust under our feet."
Favourite part from one of my favourite poems:
"How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face..."
Another extract from beloved Yeats:
"Nor law, nor duty bade me fight
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds,
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death."
Tolkien & LOTR
"Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising
I came singing in the sun, sword unsheating.
To hope's end I rode and to heart's breaking:
Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red nightfall!"
"And long there he lay, an image of the splendour of the Kings of Men in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world.
But Arwen went forth from the House, and the light of her eyes was quenched, and it seemed to her people that she had become cold and grey as nightfall in winter that comes without a star. Then she said farewell to Eldarion, and to her daughters, and to all whom she had loved; and she went out from the city of Minas Tirith and passed away to the land of Lórien, and dwelt there along under the fading trees until winter came. Galadriel had passed away and Celeborn also was gone, and the land was silent.
There at last when the mallorn-leaves were falling, but spring had not yet come, she laid herself to rest upon Cerin Amroth; and there is her green grave, until the world is changed, and all the days of her life are utterly forgotten by men that come after, and elanor and niphredil bloom no more east of the Sea.
Here ends this tale, as it has come to us from the South; and with the passing of Evenstar no more is said in this book of the days of old."
"In this sense, the Dionysian man resembles Hamlet: both have once looked truly into the essence of things, they have gained knowledge, and nausea inhibits action; for their action could not change anything in the eternal nature of things; they feel it to be ridiculous or humilitating that they should be asked to set right a world that is out of joint. Knowledge kills action; action requires the viels of illusion: that is the doctrine of Hamlet, not that cheap wisdom of Jack the Dreamer who reflects too much... Not reflection, no - true knowledge, an insight into the horrible truth, outweighs any motive for action, both in Hamlet and in the Dionysian man."
- Nietzsche
Misc.
"the quasi-miraculous fact that once, on this earth... walked other men and women, as actual as we are today, thinking their own thoughts, swayed by their own passions, but now all gone, one generation vanishing after another, gone as utterly as we ourselves shall shortly be gone like ghosts at cockcrow"
-G.M. Trevelyan
"The silver swan, who living had no note,
When death approached unlocked her silent throat;
Leaving her breast against the reedy shore,
Thus sung her first and last, and sung no more:
Farewell all joys; O death, come close mine eyes;
More geese than swans now live, more fools than wise."
- Orlando Gibbons
A particularly cruel and honest poem:
"People expect old men to die,
They do not really mourn old men.
Old men are different. People look
At them with eyes that wonder when...
People watch with unshocked eyes;
But the old men know when an old man dies."
- Ogden Nash
Yeats
"Let us go forth, the tellers of tales, and seize whatever prey the heart long for, and have no fear. Everything exists, everything is true, and the earth is only a little dust under our feet."
Favourite part from one of my favourite poems:
"How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face..."
Another extract from beloved Yeats:
"Nor law, nor duty bade me fight
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds,
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death."
Tolkien & LOTR
"Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising
I came singing in the sun, sword unsheating.
To hope's end I rode and to heart's breaking:
Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red nightfall!"
"And long there he lay, an image of the splendour of the Kings of Men in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world.
But Arwen went forth from the House, and the light of her eyes was quenched, and it seemed to her people that she had become cold and grey as nightfall in winter that comes without a star. Then she said farewell to Eldarion, and to her daughters, and to all whom she had loved; and she went out from the city of Minas Tirith and passed away to the land of Lórien, and dwelt there along under the fading trees until winter came. Galadriel had passed away and Celeborn also was gone, and the land was silent.
There at last when the mallorn-leaves were falling, but spring had not yet come, she laid herself to rest upon Cerin Amroth; and there is her green grave, until the world is changed, and all the days of her life are utterly forgotten by men that come after, and elanor and niphredil bloom no more east of the Sea.
Here ends this tale, as it has come to us from the South; and with the passing of Evenstar no more is said in this book of the days of old."
On Hamlet
"The world has grown sad because a puppet was once melancholy."
- Oscar Wilde
"In this sense, the Dionysian man resembles Hamlet: both have once looked truly into the essence of things, they have gained knowledge, and nausea inhibits action; for their action could not change anything in the eternal nature of things; they feel it to be ridiculous or humilitating that they should be asked to set right a world that is out of joint. Knowledge kills action; action requires the viels of illusion: that is the doctrine of Hamlet, not that cheap wisdom of Jack the Dreamer who reflects too much... Not reflection, no - true knowledge, an insight into the horrible truth, outweighs any motive for action, both in Hamlet and in the Dionysian man."
- Nietzsche
Misc.
"the quasi-miraculous fact that once, on this earth... walked other men and women, as actual as we are today, thinking their own thoughts, swayed by their own passions, but now all gone, one generation vanishing after another, gone as utterly as we ourselves shall shortly be gone like ghosts at cockcrow"
-G.M. Trevelyan
"The silver swan, who living had no note,
When death approached unlocked her silent throat;
Leaving her breast against the reedy shore,
Thus sung her first and last, and sung no more:
Farewell all joys; O death, come close mine eyes;
More geese than swans now live, more fools than wise."
- Orlando Gibbons
A particularly cruel and honest poem:
"People expect old men to die,
They do not really mourn old men.
Old men are different. People look
At them with eyes that wonder when...
People watch with unshocked eyes;
But the old men know when an old man dies."
- Ogden Nash
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
C'est fini!
My last paper! over! OVER!
It seems that every exam I take is harder than the last, because I get progressively (or regressively) lazier and more unmotivated with each exam.
Now I'm hoping really hard that I actually manage to graduate. Not just because my exams are so screwed up, but because I just remembered I have a quota of 20 seminars to attend, and I can't remember if I've fulfilled the quota....... *cries*
In other news *preliminary gloat* my maritime essay didn't do too badly after all. The reason why that's such a huge accomplishment is because by 3am on the day the essay was due, I had about 1000/6000 words, and I had to stop writing by 130pm that day.
As a sign of how screwed up the whole affair was, my paper was on the UN Convention on?of? (you see! I still don't know! and I just took the exam today!) the Law of the Sea, and I used the wrong acronym throughout the paper.
Also, for the first time in my life, I didn't include a bibliography. I was so desperate to finish that I figured since I was using footnotes my lecturer wouldn't really need a bibliography, and perhaps he might not notice the absence (I was wrong). Till now, till now, I still don't know what this course was about. I know there was lots about ships, and plenty of stuff about technology (maybe that's why I blanked out all the time during class), but other than that, the whole thing's a Soviet Union for me. (note: reference to Churchill's(?) description of the Soviet Union that I can never remember exactly, but has something to do with a mystery and an enigma and some other stuff all wrapped together like a swiss roll. Erm. Soviet roll.)
The second time in my life I excluded the bibliography was for my other term paper this trimester. (omg omg omg I'm so screwed!)
In case you don't know, for me, excluding the bibliography is a BIG thing. It's like, a most serious breach of etiquette. Like turning upon your hosts who have provided you with food and shelter from the storm and slaughtering them and feeding them to their own dogs for the kick of it. And then putting their dogs out in the rain. Not approved. Poor dogs :( *cries solitary tear*
Anywayz.
I'm just very very happy that my essay written in such a state of panicked ignorance did okay. *end gloat*
Oh and I collected the hardbound copies of my dissertation. Once again I'm too afraid to read the damn thing. I still haven't mustered the courage to borrow my honours thesis from the library (I don't have a copy. Long story.) to find out how screwed up it really was.
And now I'm free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder what I shall do next. *ponders*
It seems that every exam I take is harder than the last, because I get progressively (or regressively) lazier and more unmotivated with each exam.
Now I'm hoping really hard that I actually manage to graduate. Not just because my exams are so screwed up, but because I just remembered I have a quota of 20 seminars to attend, and I can't remember if I've fulfilled the quota....... *cries*
In other news *preliminary gloat* my maritime essay didn't do too badly after all. The reason why that's such a huge accomplishment is because by 3am on the day the essay was due, I had about 1000/6000 words, and I had to stop writing by 130pm that day.
As a sign of how screwed up the whole affair was, my paper was on the UN Convention on?of? (you see! I still don't know! and I just took the exam today!) the Law of the Sea, and I used the wrong acronym throughout the paper.
Also, for the first time in my life, I didn't include a bibliography. I was so desperate to finish that I figured since I was using footnotes my lecturer wouldn't really need a bibliography, and perhaps he might not notice the absence (I was wrong). Till now, till now, I still don't know what this course was about. I know there was lots about ships, and plenty of stuff about technology (maybe that's why I blanked out all the time during class), but other than that, the whole thing's a Soviet Union for me. (note: reference to Churchill's(?) description of the Soviet Union that I can never remember exactly, but has something to do with a mystery and an enigma and some other stuff all wrapped together like a swiss roll. Erm. Soviet roll.)
The second time in my life I excluded the bibliography was for my other term paper this trimester. (omg omg omg I'm so screwed!)
In case you don't know, for me, excluding the bibliography is a BIG thing. It's like, a most serious breach of etiquette. Like turning upon your hosts who have provided you with food and shelter from the storm and slaughtering them and feeding them to their own dogs for the kick of it. And then putting their dogs out in the rain. Not approved. Poor dogs :( *cries solitary tear*
Anywayz.
I'm just very very happy that my essay written in such a state of panicked ignorance did okay. *end gloat*
Oh and I collected the hardbound copies of my dissertation. Once again I'm too afraid to read the damn thing. I still haven't mustered the courage to borrow my honours thesis from the library (I don't have a copy. Long story.) to find out how screwed up it really was.
And now I'm free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder what I shall do next. *ponders*
Friday, May 25, 2007
Robbie Williams - Mr. Bojangles in the Royal Albert Hall
This is Robbie Williams too preoccupied with looking cool to sound good. And also, he can't dance for nuts.
Posted here to show how Sammy Davis Jr (see http://justareed.blogspot.com/2007/05/sammy-davis-jr-mr-bojangles_23.html) is so much better.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Sammy Davis Jr - Mr. Bojangles
This performance makes me want to cry... *cries* I never knew the song was so sad!
I *heart* Sammy Davis Jr! The Rat Pack lives on!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Dependence
I won't be able to sleep tonight, and I feel so horrible.
*cries*
LSB makes all the bad things go away. I want LSB now.
*cries*
LSB makes all the bad things go away. I want LSB now.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Misery
This is the blow-by-blow account of my misery/utter miserableness that I said I wasn't going to type, but all of you knew was going to come anyway.
I have a 6000 word paper due this Tuesday that I haven't started writing. I have a 5000 word paper due this Friday that I haven't started writing.
The Tuesday and Wednesday after that I have my 2 last exams for my course. I discovered to my horror that I have a choice of 2 out of 4 questions for the 1st paper and a choice of 3 out of 7 for the 2nd (instead of the usual 2 out of 7/8 questions). And of course if you know me at all you'd know that I haven't done ANY studying this entire trimester, and I still have difficulty remembering the names of my lecturers.
That I've finally accepted that I've lost interest in my course isn't helping.
All that is still manageable. Except for the fact that I've chosen this time to fall sick. I can tolerate sniffles, ignore fevers, suppress headaches with Panadol.
But I HATE persistent coughs with a vengeance. First, it's almost impossible to complete a sentence before being interrupted by a bout of coughing. Second, people stare at you and wonder if they should move away. Third, it's very tiring and very painful, especially when paired with a sore throat. Also, I'm unfortunately very very very prone to such coughs. They can plague me for weeks, putting me entirely out of commission. Sleep is a mercy, but I can't afford to sleep now. It'd be a joke if I failed my course now. All I want to do is to tear my throat out and stamp on it till it agrees to stop irritating me. Darn it all.
I have a 6000 word paper due this Tuesday that I haven't started writing. I have a 5000 word paper due this Friday that I haven't started writing.
The Tuesday and Wednesday after that I have my 2 last exams for my course. I discovered to my horror that I have a choice of 2 out of 4 questions for the 1st paper and a choice of 3 out of 7 for the 2nd (instead of the usual 2 out of 7/8 questions). And of course if you know me at all you'd know that I haven't done ANY studying this entire trimester, and I still have difficulty remembering the names of my lecturers.
That I've finally accepted that I've lost interest in my course isn't helping.
All that is still manageable. Except for the fact that I've chosen this time to fall sick. I can tolerate sniffles, ignore fevers, suppress headaches with Panadol.
But I HATE persistent coughs with a vengeance. First, it's almost impossible to complete a sentence before being interrupted by a bout of coughing. Second, people stare at you and wonder if they should move away. Third, it's very tiring and very painful, especially when paired with a sore throat. Also, I'm unfortunately very very very prone to such coughs. They can plague me for weeks, putting me entirely out of commission. Sleep is a mercy, but I can't afford to sleep now. It'd be a joke if I failed my course now. All I want to do is to tear my throat out and stamp on it till it agrees to stop irritating me. Darn it all.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Japan and its normalization? (also, EU-Russian relations)
Japan schools to teach patriotism
Japan's lower house of parliament has approved a new law requiring schools to teach children to be patriotic.
EU-Russian talks end in acrimony
The leaders of the European Union and Russia have traded sharp criticism over human rights, at a summit that exposed the divisions between the two sides.
Japan's lower house of parliament has approved a new law requiring schools to teach children to be patriotic.
EU-Russian talks end in acrimony
The leaders of the European Union and Russia have traded sharp criticism over human rights, at a summit that exposed the divisions between the two sides.
Miserable
I'm a total baby when it comes to falling sick. I hate it, and I become very very very miserable. Except I'm never just miserable miserable. Oh no, I'm either varying degrees of not miserable or melodramatic end-of-the-world tragic.
It doesn't help that I *thought* I got rid of this bout of whatever-it-is-that-I-have 1 week ago only to have it return to plague me this week, when I have so much work to do, and very neglected exam preparations to start on (and hopefully complete). I do *not* need another excuse to slack. But I just feel so miserable! *cries* And very sleepy...
I'm trying very hard to refrain from a blow-by-blow account of my current sickness (no pun intended!).
Oh I almost forgot! The bookshop auntie in school is ultra-nice! I went down to the bookshop yesterday during the class break, desperately looking for something to control the fever & headache cos I could feel my eyes smouldering away (hehe). Unfortunately they didn't sell Panadol (horrors!), but the auntie took 1 look at me, then rummaged through her stuff and gave me her own Panadol! For free! I love the bookshop auntie! I also love Panadol.
*miserable*
I also had another really scary nightmare, which I'm trying very hard to forget.
It doesn't help that I *thought* I got rid of this bout of whatever-it-is-that-I-have 1 week ago only to have it return to plague me this week, when I have so much work to do, and very neglected exam preparations to start on (and hopefully complete). I do *not* need another excuse to slack. But I just feel so miserable! *cries* And very sleepy...
I'm trying very hard to refrain from a blow-by-blow account of my current sickness (no pun intended!).
Oh I almost forgot! The bookshop auntie in school is ultra-nice! I went down to the bookshop yesterday during the class break, desperately looking for something to control the fever & headache cos I could feel my eyes smouldering away (hehe). Unfortunately they didn't sell Panadol (horrors!), but the auntie took 1 look at me, then rummaged through her stuff and gave me her own Panadol! For free! I love the bookshop auntie! I also love Panadol.
*miserable*
I also had another really scary nightmare, which I'm trying very hard to forget.
Friday, May 18, 2007
My favourite mailing list
I'm an invisible member on this mailing list populated by, as far as I can tell, ex-geppers. A school with all-white uniform is also strongly represented. I only read when I have the time (or when I'm too busy to have the time), but dammit some of the debates are hysterical.
Like this one on (as far as I can tell) whether 'abolishment' is as acceptable as 'abolition'.
The reason I can't tell exactly what the debate is is because there have been so many angry and lengthy emails exchanged on this weighty issue, I can't even find the original offending post.
These very very smart people have started drawing upon their very extensive knowledge of Latin, French, the evolution of language blah. I skipped all those bits because I don't know anything about any of that high-brow stuff, and I prefer to focus on the parts where they call each other morons and pedants and stupid dumb idiots.
Seems that some of the other members are slightly pissed off, but one particular mailer refuses to stop because 'he started it first!'
Yay Singapore, your creme de la creme.
Like this one on (as far as I can tell) whether 'abolishment' is as acceptable as 'abolition'.
The reason I can't tell exactly what the debate is is because there have been so many angry and lengthy emails exchanged on this weighty issue, I can't even find the original offending post.
These very very smart people have started drawing upon their very extensive knowledge of Latin, French, the evolution of language blah. I skipped all those bits because I don't know anything about any of that high-brow stuff, and I prefer to focus on the parts where they call each other morons and pedants and stupid dumb idiots.
Seems that some of the other members are slightly pissed off, but one particular mailer refuses to stop because 'he started it first!'
Yay Singapore, your creme de la creme.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Student confidence
student confidence
If state schools had more time and resources to spend trying to convince working class and lower middle class kids that they were as smart as their private/independent school counterparts, there'd be a quiet revolution in the offing.
Ditto here. There is really not much difference between kids in the different 'streams' (or have they found a new word?) in SG either.
If state schools had more time and resources to spend trying to convince working class and lower middle class kids that they were as smart as their private/independent school counterparts, there'd be a quiet revolution in the offing.
Ditto here. There is really not much difference between kids in the different 'streams' (or have they found a new word?) in SG either.
I spend a fortune everytime I step into HMV... *cries*
My long-awaited CD has finally arrived! And is everything I'd hoped for and more! Frank Sinatra Sings for Only the Lonely! It's one of those albums that have to be listened to at one go. By mid-CD your heart has already sunk to your toes, and the whole world seems cold and... er, lonely? *sigh* And by the last track, you look up from a haze of depression and wonder why the sun goes on shining, and why the sea rushes ashore and why is my boyfriend so busy he never has time for me, and why am I so wholesomely blue...?
And the grey clouds don't part after that mind you. I bought an album by Tony O'Malley that was playing in the store even though I've never heard of the artiste before. It helped that the oh-so-friendly guy at the store commented/asked with a glint in his eye: 'you like that CD, don't you?' I love guys who say 'don't you?' with a definite eye-glint!!!!!! Hehehe... Anyway, it was impossible to listen to that CD after Sinatra. Firstly, the 1st track on the album was Autumn Leaves, and the guy's french cannot make it lar. Second, he doesn't sing as well as Sinatra. Third, it was too damn upbeat for those grey clouds hanging around, and we don't want to offend those grey clouds. DO WE?
(do we?)
I should know better than to buy CDs just because of random cute guys I meet. Tsk. In any case I couldn't sit past the 2nd track of O'Malley, and haven't even started on the pop Bocelli album I bought for my mum. Back to good ol' blue eyes and heavy sighs.
And I was going to look for something by Leontyne Price at HMV, but the moment I stepped in the store I forgot her name. Of course the moment I got on the bus home I remembered. Damn my memory! And damn my memory again!
My long-awaited CD has finally arrived! And is everything I'd hoped for and more! Frank Sinatra Sings for Only the Lonely! It's one of those albums that have to be listened to at one go. By mid-CD your heart has already sunk to your toes, and the whole world seems cold and... er, lonely? *sigh* And by the last track, you look up from a haze of depression and wonder why the sun goes on shining, and why the sea rushes ashore and why is my boyfriend so busy he never has time for me, and why am I so wholesomely blue...?
And the grey clouds don't part after that mind you. I bought an album by Tony O'Malley that was playing in the store even though I've never heard of the artiste before. It helped that the oh-so-friendly guy at the store commented/asked with a glint in his eye: 'you like that CD, don't you?' I love guys who say 'don't you?' with a definite eye-glint!!!!!! Hehehe... Anyway, it was impossible to listen to that CD after Sinatra. Firstly, the 1st track on the album was Autumn Leaves, and the guy's french cannot make it lar. Second, he doesn't sing as well as Sinatra. Third, it was too damn upbeat for those grey clouds hanging around, and we don't want to offend those grey clouds. DO WE?
(do we?)
I should know better than to buy CDs just because of random cute guys I meet. Tsk. In any case I couldn't sit past the 2nd track of O'Malley, and haven't even started on the pop Bocelli album I bought for my mum. Back to good ol' blue eyes and heavy sighs.
And I was going to look for something by Leontyne Price at HMV, but the moment I stepped in the store I forgot her name. Of course the moment I got on the bus home I remembered. Damn my memory! And damn my memory again!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Poor poor poor poor me
Someone told me my posts are getting boring. :(
That same friend who probably passed me enough germs to take me out for the whole of today, which prompted this mother of all boring blog posts.
Now excuse me while I go bury my head under a blanket and pray that the world stops turning.
That same friend who probably passed me enough germs to take me out for the whole of today, which prompted this mother of all boring blog posts.
Now excuse me while I go bury my head under a blanket and pray that the world stops turning.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Panadol
I have a headache, so I take out my trusty box of Actifast Panadol. (Joyce note!)
LSB notices, runs over, and asks in a whisper: Are those menstruation panadols?
So smooshy! Hahaha...
Oh and stinky beetle alert in my house! Everytime someone shouts stinky beetle, we all disperse. No one wants a stinky beetle in their hair heh. We're cute right. :P
LSB notices, runs over, and asks in a whisper: Are those menstruation panadols?
So smooshy! Hahaha...
Oh and stinky beetle alert in my house! Everytime someone shouts stinky beetle, we all disperse. No one wants a stinky beetle in their hair heh. We're cute right. :P
Friday, May 04, 2007
Satan and immigrants
Convention ends with Satan and immigrants
Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants.
...
Republican officials then allowed speakers to defend and refute the resolution. One speaker, who was identified as "Joe," said illegal immigrants were Marxist and under the influence of the devil. Another, who declined to give her name to the Daily Herald, said illegal immigrants should not be allowed because "they are not going to become Republicans and stop flying the flag upside down. ... If they want to be Americans, they should learn to speak English and fly their flag like we do."
Ok.....
Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants.
...
Republican officials then allowed speakers to defend and refute the resolution. One speaker, who was identified as "Joe," said illegal immigrants were Marxist and under the influence of the devil. Another, who declined to give her name to the Daily Herald, said illegal immigrants should not be allowed because "they are not going to become Republicans and stop flying the flag upside down. ... If they want to be Americans, they should learn to speak English and fly their flag like we do."
Ok.....
Chris Daughtry - Hemorrhage
Oh I remember this guy from American Idol too. And this specific performance. (Music starts 01:12)
Though I don't listen to much rock, I seem to remember the rockers very well. Perhaps it's because it's difficult to listen to rock on the record. You sorta have to pair rock music with the performance. Or maybe it's just me.
Sighz. When marking so many scripts it's really tempting to just give a random grade. All the exam scripts are not that different, and it gets so mind-numbing. I keep having to take long rests to remind myself to grade these things seriously.
Constantine Maroulis - Bohemian Rhapsody
Yes I watch American Idol. *guilty*
And I actually remember this performance from I-dunno-which-season.
I also remember Kellie Pickle, but for absolutely the wrong reason. *shudders* Talk about making a virtue of being dumb.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Postcard from Prague!
I spent the whole day sleeping and woke to find a postcard from Prague on my table. It's from a friend I met three years ago... He was a German medical student in Singapore for some medical stuff (yes yes ignorance), and I showed him around. I didn't really spend much time with him (only about 2?3? days), but we've corresponded through email since then. Unfortunately his email has been bouncing for more than a year now, and I haven't been able to get through to him. And postcard? No return address.
But damn he does get around. Some months ago I got a postcard from him and back then he was in Egypt.
And it's incredibly sweet that he still sends postcards 3 years later! So smooshy! I can't believe that he still remembers me and bothers to send me postcards. His postcards have a fortunate tendency of arriving when I need cheering up. Of course they also distract me from my work, but at least it's a happy distraction. *does happy dance*
But damn he does get around. Some months ago I got a postcard from him and back then he was in Egypt.
And it's incredibly sweet that he still sends postcards 3 years later! So smooshy! I can't believe that he still remembers me and bothers to send me postcards. His postcards have a fortunate tendency of arriving when I need cheering up. Of course they also distract me from my work, but at least it's a happy distraction. *does happy dance*
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Pre-work complaint
Both my violin teacher and I are getting increasingly frustrated. My pieces are getting nowhere, and we're getting close to snapping at each other during lessons. My exam's in August, and I'm seriously unprepared for it.
The thing is the pieces are getting much harder, and I'm getting a lot busier. I know it's not as if I don't have time to practise per se... It's just that practising the violin is the one activity that requires all my concentration, and therefore it is the one thing that makes me truly tired. A serious practice burns me out for at least half the day. I'm not used to concentrating so much on anything.
I have a lot on my mind now, and while I really like playing the violin a lot, and I want to pass the exam, the amount of time and effort I have to put in for this is disproportionate to the importance of passing. It's just an extra source of stress that I don't need right now. The thing is my violin teacher is understandably concerned, and I don't like the thought of flunking either. All that time and money.
Sighz I guess I'll just have to make a mid-year resolution to practise daily. At least give myself a shot.
And while today was horrendously unproductive (because I spent hours waiting for my friend to wake heh) at least I had some time and space to recover from the foul mood I was in. It's been a long time since I spent any amount of time doing absolutely nothing. In truth, I'm kind of sick of being glued to my laptop. It's tiring communicating (MSNing) non-stop.
Lollipops make you happy. :P Let's see how much marking I can finish tonight.
The thing is the pieces are getting much harder, and I'm getting a lot busier. I know it's not as if I don't have time to practise per se... It's just that practising the violin is the one activity that requires all my concentration, and therefore it is the one thing that makes me truly tired. A serious practice burns me out for at least half the day. I'm not used to concentrating so much on anything.
I have a lot on my mind now, and while I really like playing the violin a lot, and I want to pass the exam, the amount of time and effort I have to put in for this is disproportionate to the importance of passing. It's just an extra source of stress that I don't need right now. The thing is my violin teacher is understandably concerned, and I don't like the thought of flunking either. All that time and money.
Sighz I guess I'll just have to make a mid-year resolution to practise daily. At least give myself a shot.
And while today was horrendously unproductive (because I spent hours waiting for my friend to wake heh) at least I had some time and space to recover from the foul mood I was in. It's been a long time since I spent any amount of time doing absolutely nothing. In truth, I'm kind of sick of being glued to my laptop. It's tiring communicating (MSNing) non-stop.
Lollipops make you happy. :P Let's see how much marking I can finish tonight.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Hero
Let me just remind you how much I'm in love with violinist, Jascha Heifetz. (Yes, I tend to crush dead people.)
And I just realised who Heifetz reminds me of. Sherlock Holmes.
For those who know me, everything should be clear now.
For those who don't, Sherlock Holmes = Elaine's childhood hero.
The funny thing is, Holmes played the violin too! So watching Heifetz play (see this post) results in a strange mental conflation of 2 uber-cool and talented personalities! *excited* I keep expecting Heifetz to turn around to say something to Watson!
I should stop acting like a teenager.
Sherlock Holmes did drugs too, and he's probably the reason why till now, I'm still not violently opposed to a little experimentation. Though I should also say that I've never done drugs, and have never been involved in any illegal drug-related activities. This is Singapore people, I'm not that dumb. But they should get Sherlock Holmes off the bookshelves heh. All those impressionable kids.
Sherlock Holmes is also the reason why I always count the number of steps when walking up/down a flight of stairs. It's really become a habit. Sighz. I love Sherlock Holmes. *cry*
I'm still procrastinating the marking, largely because I feel so overwhelmed by the task. I've never seen so many exam scripts before!
And I just realised who Heifetz reminds me of. Sherlock Holmes.
For those who know me, everything should be clear now.
For those who don't, Sherlock Holmes = Elaine's childhood hero.
The funny thing is, Holmes played the violin too! So watching Heifetz play (see this post) results in a strange mental conflation of 2 uber-cool and talented personalities! *excited* I keep expecting Heifetz to turn around to say something to Watson!
I should stop acting like a teenager.
Sherlock Holmes did drugs too, and he's probably the reason why till now, I'm still not violently opposed to a little experimentation. Though I should also say that I've never done drugs, and have never been involved in any illegal drug-related activities. This is Singapore people, I'm not that dumb. But they should get Sherlock Holmes off the bookshelves heh. All those impressionable kids.
Sherlock Holmes is also the reason why I always count the number of steps when walking up/down a flight of stairs. It's really become a habit. Sighz. I love Sherlock Holmes. *cry*
I'm still procrastinating the marking, largely because I feel so overwhelmed by the task. I've never seen so many exam scripts before!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
horror
transcendental horror: kant avec lovecraftThe 'frightful position therein' that Lovecraft speaks of is the revelation of a psychic nightmare – or rather the nightmare that is the psyche. But this is not the end of the story. If it were merely a question of unearthing the dark matter that coalesces in dark pockets of the mind, we could turn almost anywhere for help: psychoanalysis, literature in general, comedy, the pub. But this is not just about us. In fact, it's not about us at all. The 'terrifying vistas of reality' all point in one direction: that we don't matter one jot. Between science and the Old Ones, in this universe and all of the others, the same indifferent blankness greets us again and again. Just get on with it and expire, humans!
LSB should be interested in this heh.
It also reminds me (though imperfectly) of Tennyson's In Memoriam.
STRONG Son of God, immortal Love,
Whom we, that have not seen thy face,
By faith, and faith alone, embrace,
Believing where we cannot prove;
Thine are these orbs of light and shade;
Thou madest Life in man and brute;
Thou madest Death; and lo, thy foot
Is on the skull which thou hast made.
Thou wilt not leave us in the dust:
Thou madest man, he knows not why,
He thinks he was not made to die;
And thou hast made him: thou art just.
Thou seemest human and divine,
The highest, holiest manhood, thou:
Our wills are ours, we know not how;
Our wills are ours, to make them thine.
Our little systems have their day;
They have their day and cease to be:
They are but broken lights of thee,
And thou, O Lord, art more than they.
We have but faith: we cannot know;
For knowledge is of things we see;
And yet we trust it comes from thee,
A beam in darkness: let it grow.
Right now horror for me is 230 exam scripts, and oh, what horror!
LSB should be interested in this heh.
It also reminds me (though imperfectly) of Tennyson's In Memoriam.
STRONG Son of God, immortal Love,
Whom we, that have not seen thy face,
By faith, and faith alone, embrace,
Believing where we cannot prove;
Thine are these orbs of light and shade;
Thou madest Life in man and brute;
Thou madest Death; and lo, thy foot
Is on the skull which thou hast made.
Thou wilt not leave us in the dust:
Thou madest man, he knows not why,
He thinks he was not made to die;
And thou hast made him: thou art just.
Thou seemest human and divine,
The highest, holiest manhood, thou:
Our wills are ours, we know not how;
Our wills are ours, to make them thine.
Our little systems have their day;
They have their day and cease to be:
They are but broken lights of thee,
And thou, O Lord, art more than they.
We have but faith: we cannot know;
For knowledge is of things we see;
And yet we trust it comes from thee,
A beam in darkness: let it grow.
Right now horror for me is 230 exam scripts, and oh, what horror!
Random links
China aims to tame Internet and spread party lineBEIJING (Reuters) - Chinese President Hu Jintao on Monday launched a campaign to rid the country's sprawling Internet of "unhealthy" content and make it a springboard for Communist Party doctrine, state television reported.
Seeing through walls
Have you considered that someone could be reading what's on your monitor from a few rooms away? It's unlikely, but possible, as work by Cambridge University computer security researcher Markus Kuhn shows.
For someone who's such a tech idiot I sure read a lot of technology news...
Seeing through walls
Have you considered that someone could be reading what's on your monitor from a few rooms away? It's unlikely, but possible, as work by Cambridge University computer security researcher Markus Kuhn shows.
For someone who's such a tech idiot I sure read a lot of technology news...
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Surveillance
Has anyone noticed how people like to make funny faces/wave at security cameras? (Ok ok! I like to do that too!)
Sometimes it feels like a type of resistance/bravado. Even though we cannot control our being watched, we can attempt to take control through our knowledge of that surveillance, and through our belittling of that surveillance. Instead of reacting with fear and caution (we cannot do this and that because someone is watching), we react with light-hearted amusement/humour (hey there! you looking at me?). We even react with cordiality, as if to humanise the security camera. We act on the assumption that instead of a mechanical device, it is a person looking at us, and we act as if that person is a friend/friendly stranger. Instead of treating the security camera as part of a system of surveillance, we treat it (or at least the surveillance it represents and implements) as one person. Having no choice in our surveillance, we attempt to down-size the scary, systemic situation of surveillance into a more familiar and relaxed inter-personal interaction.
Btw, the above is also my call for help. Translated, it says: Please give me something to analyse other than international relations!
Sometimes it feels like a type of resistance/bravado. Even though we cannot control our being watched, we can attempt to take control through our knowledge of that surveillance, and through our belittling of that surveillance. Instead of reacting with fear and caution (we cannot do this and that because someone is watching), we react with light-hearted amusement/humour (hey there! you looking at me?). We even react with cordiality, as if to humanise the security camera. We act on the assumption that instead of a mechanical device, it is a person looking at us, and we act as if that person is a friend/friendly stranger. Instead of treating the security camera as part of a system of surveillance, we treat it (or at least the surveillance it represents and implements) as one person. Having no choice in our surveillance, we attempt to down-size the scary, systemic situation of surveillance into a more familiar and relaxed inter-personal interaction.
Btw, the above is also my call for help. Translated, it says: Please give me something to analyse other than international relations!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The Dead
It had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.
- James Joyce
- James Joyce
Friday, April 20, 2007
Travel
All of a sudden I feel like travelling. Partly because there was some stupid Korean show on tv that had a few scenes in Lucerne, partly because my dearest friend attempted to get me to go on a trip to Europe with her.
People keep trying to get me to travel with them lolz. Do I look as if I'm a good travelling companion? Haha... Unfortunately because I'm so cheapskate I can never muster the determination to part with my money. But it seems that when I finally decide I want to travel, I'm merciless with my expenditure.
The itinerary my friend showed me reminded me of my Europe trip, and omg I miss Lucerne so much. No matter how touristy or expensive it is, there's no denying how incredibly beautiful that place is. Actually, each place I visited on that trip was breathtaking, but right now I miss Lucerne. :P The lake! I went on a cruise on that lake, and yes, it was very very very cold, but the scenery is to die for. Sunset over the lake! Incredibly INCREDIBLY beautiful. And peaceful. If any of you're interested I'd be more than happy to show you pictures. (Somehow my laptop refuses to let me post pictures.) I'm this close to organising a post-graduation Europe trip. Anyone interested? But before you guys jump at the opportunity to travel with me (*wink*), bear in mind that by tomorrow I'd probably have changed my mind. I'm a very poor student after all heh.
But you know, if there're any REALLY cheap packages to Lucerne... I wouldn't mind Italy either, even though I've been there twice already, and it's probably going to be freaking warm there at this time of the year. The streets of Florence! *cry* And Venetian masks! Gondolas and cathedrals! *sobs* The Salzburg cemetary! (I know it's strange to miss a cemetary, but dammit their cemetaries ain't our cemetaries.)
Omg I miss Lucerne so much. Even their ducks are prettier. What would I give for a ticket to Switzerland right now. Why is it that Europe is so bloody effortlessly pretty? What would I give to fly off right now?
People keep trying to get me to travel with them lolz. Do I look as if I'm a good travelling companion? Haha... Unfortunately because I'm so cheapskate I can never muster the determination to part with my money. But it seems that when I finally decide I want to travel, I'm merciless with my expenditure.
The itinerary my friend showed me reminded me of my Europe trip, and omg I miss Lucerne so much. No matter how touristy or expensive it is, there's no denying how incredibly beautiful that place is. Actually, each place I visited on that trip was breathtaking, but right now I miss Lucerne. :P The lake! I went on a cruise on that lake, and yes, it was very very very cold, but the scenery is to die for. Sunset over the lake! Incredibly INCREDIBLY beautiful. And peaceful. If any of you're interested I'd be more than happy to show you pictures. (Somehow my laptop refuses to let me post pictures.) I'm this close to organising a post-graduation Europe trip. Anyone interested? But before you guys jump at the opportunity to travel with me (*wink*), bear in mind that by tomorrow I'd probably have changed my mind. I'm a very poor student after all heh.
But you know, if there're any REALLY cheap packages to Lucerne... I wouldn't mind Italy either, even though I've been there twice already, and it's probably going to be freaking warm there at this time of the year. The streets of Florence! *cry* And Venetian masks! Gondolas and cathedrals! *sobs* The Salzburg cemetary! (I know it's strange to miss a cemetary, but dammit their cemetaries ain't our cemetaries.)
Omg I miss Lucerne so much. Even their ducks are prettier. What would I give for a ticket to Switzerland right now. Why is it that Europe is so bloody effortlessly pretty? What would I give to fly off right now?
Monday, April 16, 2007
Bored
I just discovered my handphone's able to play music! I'm so thrilled! Ok, so I should have found out before I bought it, but I never really bother about the features... as long as I can call and sms using my handphone it's good enough for me. And I never pay for my phones. I don't see the point of paying when I can get them free heh. So I usually walk into the shop, look at the free phones, and pick out the best of the lot.
I'm a bit bored. Today was supposed to be my LSB and violin day, and I spent some time with both, but I actually spent most of the day sleeping. Now I feel as if I've got nothing to do. I should study, but no one's really free to study with me, and I can't get started on my own.
So that's why I'm writing an incredibly boring post for the world's consumption.
I had a really romantic 'date' on Sun with one of my many LSB surrogates! What with perfume shopping, chocolate sipping, candlelight dinner (by proxy) and long walks on the roof of the esplanade heh.
Oh and my perfume! *excited* I love perfume!
I'm a bit bored. Today was supposed to be my LSB and violin day, and I spent some time with both, but I actually spent most of the day sleeping. Now I feel as if I've got nothing to do. I should study, but no one's really free to study with me, and I can't get started on my own.
So that's why I'm writing an incredibly boring post for the world's consumption.
I had a really romantic 'date' on Sun with one of my many LSB surrogates! What with perfume shopping, chocolate sipping, candlelight dinner (by proxy) and long walks on the roof of the esplanade heh.
Oh and my perfume! *excited* I love perfume!
Friday, April 13, 2007
Perfumes
I swear I'll never buy an Anna Sui perfume again. The scent is cloyingly sweet and I've got a huge headache from it.
If anyone wants to buy me Lanvin's Rumeur, I'll treat you to the spectacle of me sniffing my wrists non-stop in public heh.
Also, I'm using my old number (my hp should be in use by Sat), but I still need all your cells, so pls send them to me via MSN/email/SMS. And my new Sony Ericsson phone, while cute, is horrendously unfamiliar.
If anyone wants to buy me Lanvin's Rumeur, I'll treat you to the spectacle of me sniffing my wrists non-stop in public heh.
Also, I'm using my old number (my hp should be in use by Sat), but I still need all your cells, so pls send them to me via MSN/email/SMS. And my new Sony Ericsson phone, while cute, is horrendously unfamiliar.
Heifetz: Saint-Saens - Introduction et Rondo Capriccioso
My current favouritist violinist! (some of you might have been bugged/begged by me to watch this already)
Heifetz: Saint-Saens - Introduction et Rondo Capriccioso
My current favouritist violinist! (some of you might have been bugged/begged by me to watch this already)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
And today's almost over
I lost my handphone! :( And stood my friend up because I don't remember people's hp numbers haha... Sorry sorry! But people, pls give me your numbers via MSN or email. Merci!
But apart from the handphone loss (it's the 1st time I've ever lost my handphone), it was a pretty good day.
I discovered that camomile tea goes REALLY well with lavender chocolate mousse! It's a discovery comparable to my rosebud tea + green tea mooncakes (with traditional crust) discovery!
Hmm actually I didn't do much today. But I'm still in a relatively good mood, considering that I've lost 1 of my 2 main means of interpersonal communication (the other being MSN). Damn the person who stole my handphone!
But apart from the handphone loss (it's the 1st time I've ever lost my handphone), it was a pretty good day.
I discovered that camomile tea goes REALLY well with lavender chocolate mousse! It's a discovery comparable to my rosebud tea + green tea mooncakes (with traditional crust) discovery!
Hmm actually I didn't do much today. But I'm still in a relatively good mood, considering that I've lost 1 of my 2 main means of interpersonal communication (the other being MSN). Damn the person who stole my handphone!
Freedom!
Yay I'm rid of that horrible thing that I handed in yesterday, and I shall not think about it again! Not even about the part where I added something 20mins before I handed in and totally regret it! No I shall not think about it at all!
Also, I shall not think about how I handed in that horrible thing without proofreading at 12nn cos I had to prepare for a presentation for a class at 2. The presentation didn't go too badly though, cos I did my best to act cute while presenting, which totally excused my ignorance and lack of preparation.
And now I'm in the Very Rare Situation of having at least 1.5 weeks with no deadlines! No pressure! Free time!
So I'm thinking of what I should do today. I'll have to stop by school to settle some admin details. And after that? I could go to the library and borrow something I REALLY want to read (and pay my fines). Or I could go to somewhere n grab a spot of tea and listen to my music and read. I could go out and take a walk, but it looks about to rain, and I already walked from Citylink to Somerset yesterday. Or I could go by a music shop and buy loads of CDs again! even though I bought a CD yesterday! Or I could come home and practise my violin! And my piano! And surf the net! Or I could go exploring somewhere! Oh yeah, and buy books! Loads of books! The possibilities are endless! I'm so happy!
One of the happiest days of my life was the day before the final results for my undergrad were released, and being utterly convinced that this was the last day of my happiness, I made damn sure that I would thoroughly enjoy that happiness. So I woke early, grabbed breakfast from a bakery, and then sat on the Esplanade roof at about 8 to eat and read. And then I went to the library, and then walked up the river to go to Liang Court to get my watermelon ice-cream! And it was at Liang Court that I discovered the Japanese peaches selling at 5 for SGD100+! I was really tempted to buy them, but covinced myself that I needed money to prepare for life after happiness heh.
Blues music is so fun! and slightly sexy and cheeky. At least the CD I'm listening to now. I need to diversify in music. Maybe I'll drop by some music shop, close my eyes, and pick a CD.
*yawnz* It's raining, and I've tired myself out by being so excited. Maybe I'll just spend the day sleeping.
Hey, maybe I could go to a museum today! *rubs hands in glee*
But I think I'll sleep hehehe.
Also, I shall not think about how I handed in that horrible thing without proofreading at 12nn cos I had to prepare for a presentation for a class at 2. The presentation didn't go too badly though, cos I did my best to act cute while presenting, which totally excused my ignorance and lack of preparation.
And now I'm in the Very Rare Situation of having at least 1.5 weeks with no deadlines! No pressure! Free time!
So I'm thinking of what I should do today. I'll have to stop by school to settle some admin details. And after that? I could go to the library and borrow something I REALLY want to read (and pay my fines). Or I could go to somewhere n grab a spot of tea and listen to my music and read. I could go out and take a walk, but it looks about to rain, and I already walked from Citylink to Somerset yesterday. Or I could go by a music shop and buy loads of CDs again! even though I bought a CD yesterday! Or I could come home and practise my violin! And my piano! And surf the net! Or I could go exploring somewhere! Oh yeah, and buy books! Loads of books! The possibilities are endless! I'm so happy!
One of the happiest days of my life was the day before the final results for my undergrad were released, and being utterly convinced that this was the last day of my happiness, I made damn sure that I would thoroughly enjoy that happiness. So I woke early, grabbed breakfast from a bakery, and then sat on the Esplanade roof at about 8 to eat and read. And then I went to the library, and then walked up the river to go to Liang Court to get my watermelon ice-cream! And it was at Liang Court that I discovered the Japanese peaches selling at 5 for SGD100+! I was really tempted to buy them, but covinced myself that I needed money to prepare for life after happiness heh.
Blues music is so fun! and slightly sexy and cheeky. At least the CD I'm listening to now. I need to diversify in music. Maybe I'll drop by some music shop, close my eyes, and pick a CD.
*yawnz* It's raining, and I've tired myself out by being so excited. Maybe I'll just spend the day sleeping.
Hey, maybe I could go to a museum today! *rubs hands in glee*
But I think I'll sleep hehehe.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
4am Tues morning
I've got a dissertation (I mean, THE dissertation) & a presentation due Wed, and I haven't done any work in the 10hrs I've managed to remain awake.
I think the problem with me is that I know that as long as I'm not looking for perfection, I could finish both even if I started tomorrow evening. Theoretically. Assuming everything goes well. Of course I'd compromise my grades, but who cares about grades?
Speaking of which, it is only now that I'm involved in the grading process that I've realised how difficult it is to do well in university. I really don't know how I got through my undergrad, considering that I used to give up the 20% (or more) participation grade by skipping classes all the time. What the hell happened back then? It was like there was a lucky star shining over me and I never noticed. I feel like a miracle baby.
Please get me to work. Somebody. Please.
I think the problem with me is that I know that as long as I'm not looking for perfection, I could finish both even if I started tomorrow evening. Theoretically. Assuming everything goes well. Of course I'd compromise my grades, but who cares about grades?
Speaking of which, it is only now that I'm involved in the grading process that I've realised how difficult it is to do well in university. I really don't know how I got through my undergrad, considering that I used to give up the 20% (or more) participation grade by skipping classes all the time. What the hell happened back then? It was like there was a lucky star shining over me and I never noticed. I feel like a miracle baby.
Please get me to work. Somebody. Please.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Babies
Check this out for the funniest kid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fVDGu82FeQ.
I've been watching it over and over, and if I ever had a kid like that I'd spend all day making fun of him and laughing. Which was what I did to my sister when I was younger, because oh, it's so funny when she cries. *evil laughter*
My mum was just reminding the other day of what must have been the climax of my life. When I was about 1+, my mum was reading me my favourite storybook about a girl called Jenny who broke her arm and had to be sent to the hospital. And then she gave my arm a playful tug.
Now please, I'm relying entirely on an eyewitness account here, but apparently I started crying that my arm was broken, and my mum believed me. (1st-time parents' syndrome) She took me to the GP downstairs, and the wonderful doctor that he was, he sent us over to the hospital, where many bouts of tragic weeping and screaming and futile attempts to get me to sleep and 1 x-ray later, they discovered... no broken bone. In the meantime, my mum had called my grandparents in Malaysia, and my dad had rushed over from work.
In defence of the panicked adults around me, apparently I'd cradled my arm and refused to let anyone see or touch it. So perhaps it was a bit hard to figure out what was happening until I got the x-ray. But still.
Omg I was evil, wasn't I.
Damn, it all went downhill from there.
And speaking of downhill, I still have to mark this load of essays, and I know someone famous said something to the effect of: the parts that are original aren't good, and the parts that are good aren't original. Save me.
I've been watching it over and over, and if I ever had a kid like that I'd spend all day making fun of him and laughing. Which was what I did to my sister when I was younger, because oh, it's so funny when she cries. *evil laughter*
My mum was just reminding the other day of what must have been the climax of my life. When I was about 1+, my mum was reading me my favourite storybook about a girl called Jenny who broke her arm and had to be sent to the hospital. And then she gave my arm a playful tug.
Now please, I'm relying entirely on an eyewitness account here, but apparently I started crying that my arm was broken, and my mum believed me. (1st-time parents' syndrome) She took me to the GP downstairs, and the wonderful doctor that he was, he sent us over to the hospital, where many bouts of tragic weeping and screaming and futile attempts to get me to sleep and 1 x-ray later, they discovered... no broken bone. In the meantime, my mum had called my grandparents in Malaysia, and my dad had rushed over from work.
In defence of the panicked adults around me, apparently I'd cradled my arm and refused to let anyone see or touch it. So perhaps it was a bit hard to figure out what was happening until I got the x-ray. But still.
Omg I was evil, wasn't I.
Damn, it all went downhill from there.
And speaking of downhill, I still have to mark this load of essays, and I know someone famous said something to the effect of: the parts that are original aren't good, and the parts that are good aren't original. Save me.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Updates
(now she's feeling lost)
I straightened my hair (permanently, at least till the hair grows out), and now I feel I've lost all personality. Yes people, the personality was in the hair. Now it's all gone.
(now she's feeling happy)
My supervisor told me 'Good work!' (after which he gave me a whole list of suggestions, but never mind.) Yay! *does happy dance*
*reminds self* Ok now, you've got to stop living for the approval of others! *mutters to self neurotically*
(now she's feeling grumpy)
Stupid undergraduates can't hand in an essay on time. ARGH.
(now she's amused)
Found in a student essay: 'You simply do not spank an adult.' Uh-huh. Education still incomplete.
I need to mark essays!
(flounces off)
I straightened my hair (permanently, at least till the hair grows out), and now I feel I've lost all personality. Yes people, the personality was in the hair. Now it's all gone.
(now she's feeling happy)
My supervisor told me 'Good work!' (after which he gave me a whole list of suggestions, but never mind.) Yay! *does happy dance*
*reminds self* Ok now, you've got to stop living for the approval of others! *mutters to self neurotically*
(now she's feeling grumpy)
Stupid undergraduates can't hand in an essay on time. ARGH.
(now she's amused)
Found in a student essay: 'You simply do not spank an adult.' Uh-huh. Education still incomplete.
I need to mark essays!
(flounces off)
Sunday, April 01, 2007
All You Need to Know About Me
If you really want to know who I am, don't read this blog. Just go ahead and look at this: http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html. It just boggles my mind how accurate this stuff is. If I wore a t-shirt with that url printed on it and walked down the street, people would scream and tell me 'Your Insides Are Showing!'
The drive to understand things that are not yet understood is a very powerful force in the life of an INTP. Where the Ti preference is strong, this drive can override the experiential element so strongly that the INTP will become quickly bored with anything that he has successfully analysed to the point of understanding it. Once understood, it has nothing left to offer, once the satisfaction which comes with achieving the goal of understanding diminishes. Indeed, most primary interests of an INTP are things which he cannot fully understand, usually because they are highly complex or have some exotic, mystical element that does not yield to analysis.
This is SO why I'm not going to do a PhD in International Relations, even though I was totally counting on that, and now I have no idea what to do with my life.
The INTP enjoys speculating about how a news item (for example) might be received by other people or how a point of view might offend certain types of people and be supported by yet other types; but to have a point of view of his own rarely seems relevant!
The drive to understand things that are not yet understood is a very powerful force in the life of an INTP. Where the Ti preference is strong, this drive can override the experiential element so strongly that the INTP will become quickly bored with anything that he has successfully analysed to the point of understanding it. Once understood, it has nothing left to offer, once the satisfaction which comes with achieving the goal of understanding diminishes. Indeed, most primary interests of an INTP are things which he cannot fully understand, usually because they are highly complex or have some exotic, mystical element that does not yield to analysis.
This is SO why I'm not going to do a PhD in International Relations, even though I was totally counting on that, and now I have no idea what to do with my life.
The INTP enjoys speculating about how a news item (for example) might be received by other people or how a point of view might offend certain types of people and be supported by yet other types; but to have a point of view of his own rarely seems relevant!
Totally! I hated it when for a course, I had to take a position on every class reading. WTH spare me.
If an INTP decides to learn a skill, then it is very important for him that he reaches a sufficient level so that basic errors can be avoided. Errors made by others are to be expected and can be criticised. But errors made by oneself attack the very root of the person, which is ultimately about rationality, logic and truth. INTPs hate to think of themselves being in any way inadequate, at least in areas that are important to them. So, as soon as he puts himself behind some task, then he must achieve competency. But that is as far as it goes. Refined competency requires too much effort and has little attraction. It would require practice and that usually bores an INTP.
Oh definitely, so definitely. See http://justareed.blogspot.com/2007/03/violin.html.
To know is everything, to do is a lower order necessity, if it is necessary at all. This breeds the potential for lazy aloofness. The INTP is often satisfied simply by knowing that he could do something if he wished.
Did I say SO me?
If you see someone smirking and laughing at some private thought, without any obvious reason, he's probably an INTP.
Actually, it's probably me. And I'm a she.
The source of the unease is simply the feeling that a planned schedule inhibits and robs the INTP of freedom. It is also a subordination to the plans of others which the independent INTP resists. Faithfully helping others is not a problem, however, but he must feel in control of his decision to subordinate or not.
Which is why I'm DREADING a 9-5 job. Can you imagine going to the same office at the same time for YEARS on end?
The INTP may even argue something that he doesn't really believe himself. Sometimes it is for the intellectual stimulation that comes with the challenge of arguing from a variety of standpoints.
You've no idea how many times I've gotten into trouble because of this. I always shoot my mouth off in class discussions on a point that I don't necessarily believe in, and I always get attacked for that. But it's the balance you know. If everybody agrees on something, then someone has to look at alternatives (no matter how ridiculous) and raise them.
Indeed, INTPs are often glad when someone else takes over the lead, again providing the leader is of the same mind. An INTPs ideal is to provide all the ideas for a project and have a charismatic leader, who agrees with him, carry them out.
Yes yes, and again, yes.
The one thing that will force an INTP to tidy his home radically, even when alone, is when the clutter eventually gets in his way and hinders some activity. Often, however, the offending objects will merely be moved into another corner where they can spend some more weeks being invisible.
Has anyone seen my room recently? And did anyone know that about the only time I clear my room is when I have to write a big paper and All That Mess just pisses the hell out of me because suddenly I can't find my notes, and there's no space left on my table for me to work, and What The Hell I can't get wireless in my room, which has always been the case, but Really Pisses Me Off Now? And hell, it doesn't matter if I only need to clear my table to work, I'll clear the whole damn room so this never (haha) bothers me again! Which is why I tend to be stuck clearing my wardrobe and sweeping my floor when I'm supposed to be rushing a paper.
However, the greatest fears of an INTP are usually ideas generated within his own mind. The problem is that the Ti-Ne axis is capable of conceiving very unpleasant ideas, which may be far from reality and even irrational. Ideas and possibilities assume so much importance in the mind of an INTP that they can override a common sense factual grasp on reality.
Oh yes. Tell me about it.
In other news, within 24 hrs, LSB has called me adorable, cute and capricious. I particularly like the last, and would appreciate if he now addresses me as 'my capricious little one' (CLO). But I don't mind generous sprinkles of 'cute' and 'adorable' either.
..................................................
Edited:
Oh wow, what do you know. Everybody seems to know exactly what kind of person I am. http://www.typelogic.com/intp.html
Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off.
INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to most anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves.
A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition
One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic -- apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context.
In the absence of a clear principle, however, INTPs have been known to defer judgement and to allow decisions about interpersonal matters to be left hanging lest someone be offended or somehow injured.
Just one thing? No Maths. I do wish I was good at it, cos I think it's really cool to be a Maths genius. But no, I'm not good at it.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Eternity
I'm hell-bent on finishing the dissertation by today. Even if it means overlooking the serious flaws and logical fallacies. I just need to get something out. Right now. Even if I don't sleep. Even though I'm also watching endless episodes of Scrubs. But never mind that.
What I don't get is why at this moment, 5am in the morning and nowhere close to finishing the godforsaken dissertation, I'm wondering how the hell anyone's supposed to have eternal life/experience eternity. Cos I won't have lived for an eternity till I've lived until the end of eternity, but if I've lived until the end of eternity, then I wouldn't have lived for an eternity cos eternity has no end. Right? Unless by eternity you mean the absence of time. But my poor mortal brain can't envision living without time (or deadlines, for that matter). I mean, without time, how do you... move? Or do anything? And without time, how can you have eternity? Isn't eternity supposed to be endless time? I'm sure physics has some answer to this, perhaps something to do with curved time-space or black holes or... you know, whatever.
It's like, I don't think any of us knows what true eternity or true nothingness is. I really don't know what infinity looks like. If there's such a thing. And you know, when I think about the universe (on the rare occasion that I do think about the universe), I get a little confused. Things I've figured out: the universe is like, really big. It's got plenty of stuff in it. But then, what's outside the universe? More stuff? But what's beyond that stuff? Or maybe outside the universe there's nothing? But then how can something exist within nothing? Or maybe the universe is all there is? So it's like, never-ending? Or maybe it wraps around itself infinitely (that word again!)? Like a roll of cloth that never ends? Or maybe the concept of space doesn't make sense when talking about the universe? Or perhaps everything is just a nothing that has expanded? So actually, everything is just a very big nothing? Does any of this make sense? I don't know man. It's strange to think that there's something out there so big, something that we don't really know much about (well, I don't know much about). Hell, I shouldn't even be thinking about this.
What I don't get is why at this moment, 5am in the morning and nowhere close to finishing the godforsaken dissertation, I'm wondering how the hell anyone's supposed to have eternal life/experience eternity. Cos I won't have lived for an eternity till I've lived until the end of eternity, but if I've lived until the end of eternity, then I wouldn't have lived for an eternity cos eternity has no end. Right? Unless by eternity you mean the absence of time. But my poor mortal brain can't envision living without time (or deadlines, for that matter). I mean, without time, how do you... move? Or do anything? And without time, how can you have eternity? Isn't eternity supposed to be endless time? I'm sure physics has some answer to this, perhaps something to do with curved time-space or black holes or... you know, whatever.
It's like, I don't think any of us knows what true eternity or true nothingness is. I really don't know what infinity looks like. If there's such a thing. And you know, when I think about the universe (on the rare occasion that I do think about the universe), I get a little confused. Things I've figured out: the universe is like, really big. It's got plenty of stuff in it. But then, what's outside the universe? More stuff? But what's beyond that stuff? Or maybe outside the universe there's nothing? But then how can something exist within nothing? Or maybe the universe is all there is? So it's like, never-ending? Or maybe it wraps around itself infinitely (that word again!)? Like a roll of cloth that never ends? Or maybe the concept of space doesn't make sense when talking about the universe? Or perhaps everything is just a nothing that has expanded? So actually, everything is just a very big nothing? Does any of this make sense? I don't know man. It's strange to think that there's something out there so big, something that we don't really know much about (well, I don't know much about). Hell, I shouldn't even be thinking about this.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Another panicky email to my supervisor
Hi Sir,
I figured I'd better give you an update on the dissertation.
I was hoping to give you the draft by Wednesday, but I'm having some difficulties.
I'm increasingly worried about the word count. The last section on post-Cold War ASEAN is taking up a lot of space. I'm worried about putting in enough details for this section, but I'm also concerned that the sections on the rules & institutions of international society are too superficial. As it is, I think I've exceeded the word count already, but I'm not done writing the last section, and I still haven't expanded the earlier sections.
Also, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile the logic of a minimalist international society (a la Bull) and a discussion of the difficulties faced by ASEAN. I think the main probem is that Bull's international society is both global and minimalist, and is not easily translated to the regional level of analysis or to the study of regional institutions.
If ASEAN collapses this does not mean a collapse of global international society. If ASEAN collapses does this mean an end to Southeast Asian international society? Prior to this we'd made a distinction between the Association and regional international society, but does this not mean that there must be a definition of Southeast Asian international society that is independent of ASEAN? If so, what defines Southeast Asian international society? If ASEAN is merely an expression of regional international society but not constitutive of regional international society, then the decline of ASEAN is not automatically equivalent to the decline of a minimalist Southeast Asian society, even though it might indicate problems with this regional society. But if my focus is on explaining regional international society, then isn't my discussion of ASEAN a bit off the mark?
I don't think it's impossible to use Bull to understand Southeast Asia. But I have a bad feeling that I need much more space to translate Bull's ideas to the regional level. Am I thinking too much into it?
Sorry for another long email! Thanks!
Regards,
Elaine
I figured I'd better give you an update on the dissertation.
I was hoping to give you the draft by Wednesday, but I'm having some difficulties.
I'm increasingly worried about the word count. The last section on post-Cold War ASEAN is taking up a lot of space. I'm worried about putting in enough details for this section, but I'm also concerned that the sections on the rules & institutions of international society are too superficial. As it is, I think I've exceeded the word count already, but I'm not done writing the last section, and I still haven't expanded the earlier sections.
Also, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile the logic of a minimalist international society (a la Bull) and a discussion of the difficulties faced by ASEAN. I think the main probem is that Bull's international society is both global and minimalist, and is not easily translated to the regional level of analysis or to the study of regional institutions.
If ASEAN collapses this does not mean a collapse of global international society. If ASEAN collapses does this mean an end to Southeast Asian international society? Prior to this we'd made a distinction between the Association and regional international society, but does this not mean that there must be a definition of Southeast Asian international society that is independent of ASEAN? If so, what defines Southeast Asian international society? If ASEAN is merely an expression of regional international society but not constitutive of regional international society, then the decline of ASEAN is not automatically equivalent to the decline of a minimalist Southeast Asian society, even though it might indicate problems with this regional society. But if my focus is on explaining regional international society, then isn't my discussion of ASEAN a bit off the mark?
I don't think it's impossible to use Bull to understand Southeast Asia. But I have a bad feeling that I need much more space to translate Bull's ideas to the regional level. Am I thinking too much into it?
Sorry for another long email! Thanks!
Regards,
Elaine
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Rainy nights
I can't play my Corrinne Bailey Rae on my MP3. Stupid content-protected CDs.
But this was on my MP3 tonight:
Rainy Night in Georgia
Brook Benton
Hoverin' by my suitcase,
Tryin' to find a warm place to spend the night
Heavy rain fallin', seems I hear your voice callin'
"It's all right."
A rainy night in Georgia,
a rainy night in Georgia
It seems like it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
Neon signs a-flashin',
Taxi cabs and buses passin' through the night
A distant moanin' of a train seems to play a sad refrain
To the night
A rainy night in Georgia,
such a rainy night in Georgia
Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
How many times I wondered
It still comes out the same
No matter how you look at it or think of it
It's life and you just got to play the game
I find me a place in a box car,
so I take my guitar to pass some time
Late at night when it's hard to rest
I hold your picture to my chest and I feel fine
But it's a rainy night in Georgia,
baby, it's a rainy night in Georgia
I feel it's rainin' all over the world, kinda lonely now
And it's rainin' all over the world...
The song brought back a sharp memory of how just 2?3? years ago I used to play this CD while lying on my bed, waiting for sleep. I haven't done that for a while. Nowadays I either fall asleep on my sofa or stumble into bed, too tired to care. These days my head is filled with so many thoughts (mostly frivolous), I'm a bit tired of the mental chatter going on up there. A thought chases upon the tail of another thought that I'm barely done with; I'm like a whirlwind of words.
I walked home tonight - yet another thing I haven't done for a while - and bought a beer on the way. It's a slightly chilly night (for Singapore). I'll have class early tomorrow.
Suddenly I feel incredibly tired. I think I'll take a hiatus from blogging. 'scuse me while I disappear. Just for a while.
But this was on my MP3 tonight:
Rainy Night in Georgia
Brook Benton
Hoverin' by my suitcase,
Tryin' to find a warm place to spend the night
Heavy rain fallin', seems I hear your voice callin'
"It's all right."
A rainy night in Georgia,
a rainy night in Georgia
It seems like it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
Neon signs a-flashin',
Taxi cabs and buses passin' through the night
A distant moanin' of a train seems to play a sad refrain
To the night
A rainy night in Georgia,
such a rainy night in Georgia
Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
How many times I wondered
It still comes out the same
No matter how you look at it or think of it
It's life and you just got to play the game
I find me a place in a box car,
so I take my guitar to pass some time
Late at night when it's hard to rest
I hold your picture to my chest and I feel fine
But it's a rainy night in Georgia,
baby, it's a rainy night in Georgia
I feel it's rainin' all over the world, kinda lonely now
And it's rainin' all over the world...
The song brought back a sharp memory of how just 2?3? years ago I used to play this CD while lying on my bed, waiting for sleep. I haven't done that for a while. Nowadays I either fall asleep on my sofa or stumble into bed, too tired to care. These days my head is filled with so many thoughts (mostly frivolous), I'm a bit tired of the mental chatter going on up there. A thought chases upon the tail of another thought that I'm barely done with; I'm like a whirlwind of words.
I walked home tonight - yet another thing I haven't done for a while - and bought a beer on the way. It's a slightly chilly night (for Singapore). I'll have class early tomorrow.
Suddenly I feel incredibly tired. I think I'll take a hiatus from blogging. 'scuse me while I disappear. Just for a while.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Recovering from religion
I stumbled across this very interesting site - Islam Watch: Telling the Truth about Islam. It seems it is a site by ex-Muslims who have become disillusioned with Islam, and are now claiming that it is a false religion.
A few disclaimers first, just in case there're any online vigilantes who might love to get me into trouble. This is Singapore after all, and multi-racial, religious tolerance etc etc... First, I know next to nothing about religion, and therefore I do not pretend to make any authoritative statements about any religion. Second, I don't endorse the opinions expressed on the site hyperlinked above. In fact, I'm highly suspicious of the credentials of the site. I randomly clicked a link on the page, and was brought to a poorly written piece by Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America. Okay... Needless to say the article was almost entirely about us good Americans needing to carry guns to defend ourselves against these crazy jihadists who could appear anywhere, anytime.
Nevertheless, I'm not slamming the entire site just yet, because I don't really have time to explore the site thoroughly right now.
But Islam Watch reminded me of Recovering Christians, another site I used to frequent. It seems as if every religion has its share of rebels. However, Recovering Christians seems a lot more moderate, and publishes contributions from Christians. The entries there are also less driven by current events (unlike Islam Watch, which is overly preoccupied with terrorism issues & Iraq), and thus comes across as more reflective and introspective. Also, there seems to be more of a debate on Recovering Christians. Islam Watch's shout of 'turn away from this false religion!' however, is practically deafening, and much less palatable.
A few disclaimers first, just in case there're any online vigilantes who might love to get me into trouble. This is Singapore after all, and multi-racial, religious tolerance etc etc... First, I know next to nothing about religion, and therefore I do not pretend to make any authoritative statements about any religion. Second, I don't endorse the opinions expressed on the site hyperlinked above. In fact, I'm highly suspicious of the credentials of the site. I randomly clicked a link on the page, and was brought to a poorly written piece by Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America. Okay... Needless to say the article was almost entirely about us good Americans needing to carry guns to defend ourselves against these crazy jihadists who could appear anywhere, anytime.
Nevertheless, I'm not slamming the entire site just yet, because I don't really have time to explore the site thoroughly right now.
But Islam Watch reminded me of Recovering Christians, another site I used to frequent. It seems as if every religion has its share of rebels. However, Recovering Christians seems a lot more moderate, and publishes contributions from Christians. The entries there are also less driven by current events (unlike Islam Watch, which is overly preoccupied with terrorism issues & Iraq), and thus comes across as more reflective and introspective. Also, there seems to be more of a debate on Recovering Christians. Islam Watch's shout of 'turn away from this false religion!' however, is practically deafening, and much less palatable.
Woman, fall not in love
I know it's bad form to gush about your relationship online, but since this is a sort of irritable, anti-gushing complaint, I'll make an exception.
I don't know what it is about relationships that turn otherwise sane, rational, normal, grown-up (ok I know that blogthings quiz said my real age is 15) women into psychotic, dependent, neurotic, paranoid lunatics.
I was in a horrendous mood today, the kind of mood that turns me into a cross between rabid dog and frazzled, paper-pushing bureaucrat - constantly furious, likely to bite, obsessed with details and prone to bossing people around. Then just because LSB did the smallest of things, I was suddenly insanely happy, and all was fine with the world.
I won't even say what it was because it's really too embarrassing to admit that something that silly could stop me in my frothing, raging tracks. Not even on this blog, which has become the biggest liability to my good reputation. (oh wait, I am the biggest liability to my good reputation.)
And then there're these other times where his disproportionate influence over me sends me reeling in the other way, and storm clouds gather, the ground shakes, rain pours, and I'm all melodramatic tragedy, and my life is an amalgamation of the best korean soaps.
I just don't know what men do to women. It's crazy, you know. It's like he's the wind and I'm the windvane. He's the temperature and I'm the thermometer.
... ok, I'd better stop here now. *embarrassed* You can guess what kind of love poems I'd come up with.
You have no idea how frustrating this is. Is it just me? Am I unschooled in the art of boyfriend management? Is there a training school I can send him to? Or is there some code of conduct that he needs to adhere to in order to maintain a healthy, normal girlfriend? Should I just kick him until he stops messing with my mind?
I don't know what it is about relationships that turn otherwise sane, rational, normal, grown-up (ok I know that blogthings quiz said my real age is 15) women into psychotic, dependent, neurotic, paranoid lunatics.
I was in a horrendous mood today, the kind of mood that turns me into a cross between rabid dog and frazzled, paper-pushing bureaucrat - constantly furious, likely to bite, obsessed with details and prone to bossing people around. Then just because LSB did the smallest of things, I was suddenly insanely happy, and all was fine with the world.
I won't even say what it was because it's really too embarrassing to admit that something that silly could stop me in my frothing, raging tracks. Not even on this blog, which has become the biggest liability to my good reputation. (oh wait, I am the biggest liability to my good reputation.)
And then there're these other times where his disproportionate influence over me sends me reeling in the other way, and storm clouds gather, the ground shakes, rain pours, and I'm all melodramatic tragedy, and my life is an amalgamation of the best korean soaps.
I just don't know what men do to women. It's crazy, you know. It's like he's the wind and I'm the windvane. He's the temperature and I'm the thermometer.
... ok, I'd better stop here now. *embarrassed* You can guess what kind of love poems I'd come up with.
You have no idea how frustrating this is. Is it just me? Am I unschooled in the art of boyfriend management? Is there a training school I can send him to? Or is there some code of conduct that he needs to adhere to in order to maintain a healthy, normal girlfriend? Should I just kick him until he stops messing with my mind?
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Violin
Just finished watching a documentary, The Art of the Violin.
I started the violin unforgiveably late (I shall always blame my parents for forcing me to take up the piano instead of the violin), when I was 19. I remember when I first started, I was a voracious learner. For about a year, I wanted to learn everything straightaway - shifting, double-stops, vibrato... everything. I borrowed books on the history of the violin, playing techniques, music theory, all of which I've forgotten, because I've got a horrendous memory.
But even during this period, when I was the most fascinated by this instrument that was so different from the piano, I practised a maximum of twice a week. Because that's the kind of student I am. I hate practising, and I get deathly bored if I have to spend too much time on one thing. Some might call it lazy, but I prefer 'easily bored'.
Which is why I'm half-convinced I'll never survive a PhD, even though the idea of studying still appeals to me. But let's leave that bit of angst for another time.
I'll never be any good at the violin, but that's precisely why I feel like going out and buying a stack of cds right now. Because I know I'll never be able to produce that kind of music, the only way I can own that sound is to buy it.
I started the violin unforgiveably late (I shall always blame my parents for forcing me to take up the piano instead of the violin), when I was 19. I remember when I first started, I was a voracious learner. For about a year, I wanted to learn everything straightaway - shifting, double-stops, vibrato... everything. I borrowed books on the history of the violin, playing techniques, music theory, all of which I've forgotten, because I've got a horrendous memory.
But even during this period, when I was the most fascinated by this instrument that was so different from the piano, I practised a maximum of twice a week. Because that's the kind of student I am. I hate practising, and I get deathly bored if I have to spend too much time on one thing. Some might call it lazy, but I prefer 'easily bored'.
Which is why I'm half-convinced I'll never survive a PhD, even though the idea of studying still appeals to me. But let's leave that bit of angst for another time.
I'll never be any good at the violin, but that's precisely why I feel like going out and buying a stack of cds right now. Because I know I'll never be able to produce that kind of music, the only way I can own that sound is to buy it.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Efficiency
I wrote a long email to my supervisor yesterday afternoon, with my draft attached. He replied today at about 5pm. He'd read through my entire draft AND my email, AND gave me a pretty detailed rundown of what he thought.
The efficiency just boggles my mind. I'm the most inefficient person I know. I ALWAYS procrastinate. Always. I just don't understand efficiency. I seldom miss deadlines, but I never finish my work before the deadline either. I'm dazzled by my supervisor's efficiency. He's such a wonderful supervisor! I'm so excited about efficiency!
Even though I've received a ton of essays to mark, I haven't touched a single one. And I've had them for weeks! My supervisor would have finished marking them a long time ago. Shame on me!
The efficiency just boggles my mind. I'm the most inefficient person I know. I ALWAYS procrastinate. Always. I just don't understand efficiency. I seldom miss deadlines, but I never finish my work before the deadline either. I'm dazzled by my supervisor's efficiency. He's such a wonderful supervisor! I'm so excited about efficiency!
Even though I've received a ton of essays to mark, I haven't touched a single one. And I've had them for weeks! My supervisor would have finished marking them a long time ago. Shame on me!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Once newly dead
Amara Tochi to be Hung at Dawn
I've only just read this blog entry dated 25 Jan 2007, and hence did not know about this case until more than a month after the event. So this guy's probably been dead more than a month already. I don't even have to search for updates on the case to know this because if Singapore decides on the death sentence, no pleas or appeals of any sort could make any difference.
Just for the record, I don't approve of the death penalty, and I feel inexplicably guilty that I did not know about this death till long after the event.
And why am I surfing the net when I've got 4000 (ok, now 3500) words more to go by 5pm today? I don't know really. I'm starting to feel bored with my course of study and beginning to think my interests lie somewhere else. (and this is not just dissertation angst speaking) This is, of course, disastrous.
But you know, academic woes somehow pale in comparison to larger troubling issues like the state's willingness to kill without convincing proof of guilt.
Yet this particular case more than others caught my attention, for a simple reason: Amara Tochi was sentenced to death for drug trafficking. Yet he might not have even known that he possessed drugs on his person.
In fact, Justice Kan noted in his findings that "there was no direct evidence that he knew the capsules contained diamorphine. There was nothing to suggest that Smith had told him they contained diamorphine, or that he had found that out on his own".
That leads us to a troublesome and haunting question: can you be sentenced to death for drug trafficking without even knowing you were in possession of drugs?
I've only just read this blog entry dated 25 Jan 2007, and hence did not know about this case until more than a month after the event. So this guy's probably been dead more than a month already. I don't even have to search for updates on the case to know this because if Singapore decides on the death sentence, no pleas or appeals of any sort could make any difference.
Just for the record, I don't approve of the death penalty, and I feel inexplicably guilty that I did not know about this death till long after the event.
And why am I surfing the net when I've got 4000 (ok, now 3500) words more to go by 5pm today? I don't know really. I'm starting to feel bored with my course of study and beginning to think my interests lie somewhere else. (and this is not just dissertation angst speaking) This is, of course, disastrous.
But you know, academic woes somehow pale in comparison to larger troubling issues like the state's willingness to kill without convincing proof of guilt.
scrubs - guy love
It's guy love, between two guys! *chortles*
Thanks Joyce for the link!
4000 words more by 5pm!
Letter to a reptile
Dear baby lizard,
I know you're hopelessly in love with either 1. my Doritos (a yucky taco flavour), 2. my beautiful human self, or 3. the heat from my laptop. You might also feel attracted to the pile of notes on my table, but I think that's highly unlikely. You're not silverfish after all, and silverfish are probably the only creatures who might like my very boring notes.
However, please stop trying to sneak up on me/my Doritos/my laptop. It freaks me out a bit, because as much as I think baby lizard feet are terribly cute, I don't fancy the thought of accidentally squashing you or munching a mouthful of Doritos-flavoured lizard. It's a really bad time now, you know. I have to hand in the first draft of my dissertation by 5pm tomorrow, and I'm only at 5000 words. So if you come any closer to me, I swear I'll scream and wake my daddy up so he can get rid of you. Be good! And no tail-dropping please!
Regards,
Elaine
I know you're hopelessly in love with either 1. my Doritos (a yucky taco flavour), 2. my beautiful human self, or 3. the heat from my laptop. You might also feel attracted to the pile of notes on my table, but I think that's highly unlikely. You're not silverfish after all, and silverfish are probably the only creatures who might like my very boring notes.
However, please stop trying to sneak up on me/my Doritos/my laptop. It freaks me out a bit, because as much as I think baby lizard feet are terribly cute, I don't fancy the thought of accidentally squashing you or munching a mouthful of Doritos-flavoured lizard. It's a really bad time now, you know. I have to hand in the first draft of my dissertation by 5pm tomorrow, and I'm only at 5000 words. So if you come any closer to me, I swear I'll scream and wake my daddy up so he can get rid of you. Be good! And no tail-dropping please!
Regards,
Elaine
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Break from thesis
Ok, I'll just take a small small break here. *swears to self she won't take anymore 4hr naps (like this afternoon) or watch 3hrs of tv (like this evening)*
I can't help comparing this thesis experience with my previous thesis experience. I'm actually much more relaxed this time. (though I'd better not jump to conclusions till tomorrow)
Perhaps it's because of yet another raise in stress threshold.
Perhaps it's because this time I Actually Consulted My Thesis Supervisor And He Knows What I'm Going To Write About. (at least in general)
Perhaps it's because I no longer feel as if I owe it to the whole world to do well.
Perhaps it's because they make us hand in a first draft before the final deadline.
Anywayz. The last time I spent about 5 days doing the really relevant research, and about 2.5days writing. This time I've hardly done any research, but I'm making up for it by starting to write 3 days before the deadline. So hopefully it should work out fine. (I'm now at 1350/10000 words, and the bloody thesis is due this Thurs. Well, at least the 1st draft.)
*yawnz* darn I'm sleepy. Too bloody relaxed... Help! I'm in such deep shit!
Ok ok that's it. I should go back to work. (I wasted another hour slacking! Can you believe that?)
I can't help comparing this thesis experience with my previous thesis experience. I'm actually much more relaxed this time. (though I'd better not jump to conclusions till tomorrow)
Perhaps it's because of yet another raise in stress threshold.
Perhaps it's because this time I Actually Consulted My Thesis Supervisor And He Knows What I'm Going To Write About. (at least in general)
Perhaps it's because I no longer feel as if I owe it to the whole world to do well.
Perhaps it's because they make us hand in a first draft before the final deadline.
Anywayz. The last time I spent about 5 days doing the really relevant research, and about 2.5days writing. This time I've hardly done any research, but I'm making up for it by starting to write 3 days before the deadline. So hopefully it should work out fine. (I'm now at 1350/10000 words, and the bloody thesis is due this Thurs. Well, at least the 1st draft.)
*yawnz* darn I'm sleepy. Too bloody relaxed... Help! I'm in such deep shit!
Ok ok that's it. I should go back to work. (I wasted another hour slacking! Can you believe that?)
Monday, March 05, 2007
Faces of Italy
One of my favourite photo blogs:
Faces of Italy
and so on. If you want to see the faces behind these dreams, click on above link. :)
Faces of Italy
This is Vespucci.
Vespucci’s dream is to find his son and tell him important things. He twists his head quickly at me with a lost and quizzical look, and then he returns to a thoughtful gaze.
Vespucci is currently homeless and cannot remember where his son is
This is Skye.Skye’s dream, she says with a stalwart demeanor, is to be a successful dermatologist.
Skye is currently modeling in Milan during summer break from medical school.
and so on. If you want to see the faces behind these dreams, click on above link. :)
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Nora, The Piano-Playing Cat (www.ravenswingstudio.com)
This cat has more talent in its tail than I would have in my entire life! (How else did it make it so big?)
Friday, March 02, 2007
History and History
Abe Rejects Japan’s Files on War Sex
TOKYO, March 1 — Prime Minister Shinzo Abe denied Thursday that Japan’s military had forced foreign women into sexual slavery during World War II, contradicting the Japanese government’s longtime official position.
Oops. I can't imagine many people being happy about that.
Now I have to write my dissertation by next Thurs.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Current Music Obsession: The Red Violin
I'm re-listening to The Red Violin soundtrack, and my brain short-circuited again. I spent most of last night feverishly reading reviews of the film and soundtrack, the obvious thing to do when I have a paper this Friday.
I'm not particularly impressed by the film, but the soundtrack... *smoke rises from fried brain*
It's an original score! And a very good one at that! Joshua Bell played it! It's beeeeoooootifffuuuuullllll!
It's really a bad idea to be listening to the soundtrack now, because I can't concentrate on anything else (read: revision for the paper). And the regular fits I get while listening to the soundtrack make me very tired... It's tiring to remain ecstatic for hours on end. Talk about blowing my mind.
I need something brainless... M-Pop, here I come!
I'm not particularly impressed by the film, but the soundtrack... *smoke rises from fried brain*
It's an original score! And a very good one at that! Joshua Bell played it! It's beeeeoooootifffuuuuullllll!
It's really a bad idea to be listening to the soundtrack now, because I can't concentrate on anything else (read: revision for the paper). And the regular fits I get while listening to the soundtrack make me very tired... It's tiring to remain ecstatic for hours on end. Talk about blowing my mind.
I need something brainless... M-Pop, here I come!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Don't shoot me for my taste
Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)
Written by: Cole Porter
With Shirley MacLaine
Arranged By: Nelson Riddle
From the Show: Paris (1928)
Label: Capitol Records
Recorded: September 22, 1959
----------------------------------------
Why even in France the best upper sets do it, Lithuanians and Letts do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
In old Japan, all the Japs do it, up in Lapland little Laps do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
The Deutch in old Amsterdam do it, not to mention the Fins
Folks in Siam do it - think of Siamese twins
In shallow shoals English souls do it, goldfish in the privacy of bowls do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
The chimpanzees in the zoos do it, some courageous kangaroos do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
I'm sure giraffes on the sly do it, even eagles as they fly do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Electric eels I might add do it, though it shocks `em I know
Why ask if shad do it - garcon de "shad roe"
The world admits bears in pits do it, even Pekingeses at the Ritz do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
The royal set sans regret did it, and they considered it fun
Marie Antoinette did it - with or without Napoleon
Parliament pleasure bent did it, mam'selles every time they're short of rent did it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Never think today's songs are more sexed up than songs written 80yrs ago.
But I like this Cole Porter song, even though it's so politically incorrect. At least it's fun and cheeky, and it makes me laugh. Songs nowadays never make anyone laugh. I particularly like the electric eels line.
Written by: Cole Porter
With Shirley MacLaine
Arranged By: Nelson Riddle
From the Show: Paris (1928)
Label: Capitol Records
Recorded: September 22, 1959
----------------------------------------
Why even in France the best upper sets do it, Lithuanians and Letts do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
In old Japan, all the Japs do it, up in Lapland little Laps do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
The Deutch in old Amsterdam do it, not to mention the Fins
Folks in Siam do it - think of Siamese twins
In shallow shoals English souls do it, goldfish in the privacy of bowls do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
The chimpanzees in the zoos do it, some courageous kangaroos do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
I'm sure giraffes on the sly do it, even eagles as they fly do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Electric eels I might add do it, though it shocks `em I know
Why ask if shad do it - garcon de "shad roe"
The world admits bears in pits do it, even Pekingeses at the Ritz do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
The royal set sans regret did it, and they considered it fun
Marie Antoinette did it - with or without Napoleon
Parliament pleasure bent did it, mam'selles every time they're short of rent did it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Never think today's songs are more sexed up than songs written 80yrs ago.
But I like this Cole Porter song, even though it's so politically incorrect. At least it's fun and cheeky, and it makes me laugh. Songs nowadays never make anyone laugh. I particularly like the electric eels line.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
jay - tui hou
Anyone wants to know why I love making fun of Jay? Check out his 'hooligan' behaviour in this MV. Hilarious stuff.
Friday, February 23, 2007
First paper over!
I used to like exams because they meant relatively little work (compared to writing essays).
Now I hate exams because it's too little work and too much of a disaster. (I know it's personal choice. Let me whine.)
I read 3 articles from 3 chapters about 3 different countries.
I had 10 chapters in this course. Each chapter consists of about 7 compulsory readings, including books. This means that if I had studied the whole module, I'd have 70 readings, out of which I read 3.
Of course no one studies the whole module for exams. Let's do it this way:
I have to answer 2 questions during the exam. I know that each question will mean I need to refer to 2 countries. That makes a minimum of 2 countries (because I can repeat the countries for the 2 questions) and a maximum of 4 countries.
Of the 10 chapters I have to study, 6 of them are country studies. This means that 4 of them are theoretical chapters.
I know that each question will make reference to at least one theoretical concept in any one of these 4 theoretical chapters.
Assuming I'm an average risk-taker who wants to make sure she can do at least 2 questions, I'd spot about 3 countries and half the theory chapters. That makes 5x7 = 35 readings.
I read 3 out of 35 readings. I'm taking about 11 times more risk than the average risk-taker.
This is what happened during the exam:
I referred to 4 countries altogether, dregging my memory for a handful of facts (relevant or not, I don't know) about each. Out of these 4 countries, I didn't study 1 of them at all. I didn't study 2 countries in relation to the question I was answering. Therefore, really, I could only analyse one country properly - and then, given I only read 1 article about that country, I don't think 'properly' is the appropriate term - which is equal to slightly less than half a question, which is equal to slightly less than 12.5% of my grade.
I didn't know any theory.
(oh shit, I just remembered I forgot to define my terms.)
Too little work done for exams. I hate exams. My stress threshold is too high until too late. At least the essays make me stay up all night.
I apologise to all who had to bear with my whining on MSN.
...................................................................
In other news, LSB has become extraordinarily corny, possibly because of thesis fever. (those of you who know how corny he usually is should be properly shocked now.)
Now I hate exams because it's too little work and too much of a disaster. (I know it's personal choice. Let me whine.)
I read 3 articles from 3 chapters about 3 different countries.
I had 10 chapters in this course. Each chapter consists of about 7 compulsory readings, including books. This means that if I had studied the whole module, I'd have 70 readings, out of which I read 3.
Of course no one studies the whole module for exams. Let's do it this way:
I have to answer 2 questions during the exam. I know that each question will mean I need to refer to 2 countries. That makes a minimum of 2 countries (because I can repeat the countries for the 2 questions) and a maximum of 4 countries.
Of the 10 chapters I have to study, 6 of them are country studies. This means that 4 of them are theoretical chapters.
I know that each question will make reference to at least one theoretical concept in any one of these 4 theoretical chapters.
Assuming I'm an average risk-taker who wants to make sure she can do at least 2 questions, I'd spot about 3 countries and half the theory chapters. That makes 5x7 = 35 readings.
I read 3 out of 35 readings. I'm taking about 11 times more risk than the average risk-taker.
This is what happened during the exam:
I referred to 4 countries altogether, dregging my memory for a handful of facts (relevant or not, I don't know) about each. Out of these 4 countries, I didn't study 1 of them at all. I didn't study 2 countries in relation to the question I was answering. Therefore, really, I could only analyse one country properly - and then, given I only read 1 article about that country, I don't think 'properly' is the appropriate term - which is equal to slightly less than half a question, which is equal to slightly less than 12.5% of my grade.
I didn't know any theory.
(oh shit, I just remembered I forgot to define my terms.)
Too little work done for exams. I hate exams. My stress threshold is too high until too late. At least the essays make me stay up all night.
I apologise to all who had to bear with my whining on MSN.
...................................................................
In other news, LSB has become extraordinarily corny, possibly because of thesis fever. (those of you who know how corny he usually is should be properly shocked now.)
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Cargo Cults
Cargo Cults
Must... Not... Laugh... Must... Respect... Differences... Must... Respect... Their... Culture...
You have no idea how difficult this is for me. This world is such a strange place.
BUT (and this is a very significant 'but') this BBC write-up smacks of The Gods Must Be Crazy in that the humour glosses over very serious issues - marginalisation, poverty, discrimination. The article also plays up stereotypes of 'ignorant natives' who are superstitious, technologically incompetent and therefore very very different from the 'rational white man'. Look at how the one personality given much coverage, Yali, is portrayed as a shrewd, opportunistic (but still ignorant and backward and therefore 'ridicule-worthy') petty cult leader (petty in the sense that he falls into the 'authoritarian leader of small region who does not pose a real threat and therefore can be treated with amused tolerance' category).
And the article co-opts the reader into this 'white man cult' too. Note how they assume that readers have a general understanding of what "a book which showed a succession from monkeys into humans" is about, and that readers know that Rome is not in Australia. Of course these assumptions are probably not too far off (we should never take things for granted though), but the way everything is phrased just makes the article into an 'insider joke', which quite naturally makes these islanders ridiculous outsiders to be laughed at.
So I should stop laughing. Now!
Belief in cargo reflects long-standing beliefs in Melanesian cultures. The exchange of goods and objects of wealth are a fundamental way in which communities and social relationships are maintained. Through generous giving, individuals gain power. The 'big man' is the one who has the most to give, who is followed by his community and may even become a local prophet. This focus on wealth was linked to a belief that the ancestors continue to have influence over a community long after their death. Melanesians believe that ancestors speak to them in dreams, providing instructions for 'proper living' and foresight of the future. They further believe that their ancestors will one day come back to life, bearing unimaginable wealth and secure the long-term future of their community.
...
They [European missionaries] found the natives highly resistant, however; they were not content with hymns and stories, and wanted to know why the white men were hiding the secret of cargo from them. The missionaries were being stingy big men, and stinginess was number one on the list of bad qualities for a big man to have.
...
Tribal councils were held, and the people of Madang decided that the cargo was not created by the Europeans, who were not actually ancestors. The actual ancestors made cargo far away, but the Europeans kept it from getting to the natives. Maybe if they learned the Europeans' rituals they could learn the secrets of cargo and convince their ancestors to send cargo to them instead. Thus, without any warning that the missionaries could understand, the natives began converting to Christianity in droves. Under the guidance of their tribal leaders, they willingly adapted Christian behaviour and clothing, and became models of Christian obedience.
...
While in Brisbane, Yali made another startling discovery: the Australians kept hundreds of animals in the Brisbane Zoo, which they carefully fed and tended. He also noticed the large number of dogs and cats kept as pets in homes. It wasn't until a conference in Port Moresby5 that he was able to solve this puzzling behaviour. The solution came when he witnessed a book which showed a succession from monkeys into humans. It became clear the depth to which the missionaries had lied: they had claimed Adam and Eve were men's ancestors when they clearly believed that their ancestors were animals who needed to be treated with respect. It was obvious the missionaries had made up such lies in order to hide this truth from the New Guineans, who had held such beliefs before their arrival. Upon returning home, Yali was convinced by the prophet Gurek that the Queensland Museum was actually Rome, that the gods had been taken captive there, and that in order to lure them back the natives had to stop their foolish acceptance of the lies of Christianity.
Must... Not... Laugh... Must... Respect... Differences... Must... Respect... Their... Culture...
You have no idea how difficult this is for me. This world is such a strange place.
BUT (and this is a very significant 'but') this BBC write-up smacks of The Gods Must Be Crazy in that the humour glosses over very serious issues - marginalisation, poverty, discrimination. The article also plays up stereotypes of 'ignorant natives' who are superstitious, technologically incompetent and therefore very very different from the 'rational white man'. Look at how the one personality given much coverage, Yali, is portrayed as a shrewd, opportunistic (but still ignorant and backward and therefore 'ridicule-worthy') petty cult leader (petty in the sense that he falls into the 'authoritarian leader of small region who does not pose a real threat and therefore can be treated with amused tolerance' category).
And the article co-opts the reader into this 'white man cult' too. Note how they assume that readers have a general understanding of what "a book which showed a succession from monkeys into humans" is about, and that readers know that Rome is not in Australia. Of course these assumptions are probably not too far off (we should never take things for granted though), but the way everything is phrased just makes the article into an 'insider joke', which quite naturally makes these islanders ridiculous outsiders to be laughed at.
So I should stop laughing. Now!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Flowers for Valentine's
After 2.5 years of begging and whining and complaining, LSB finally grudgingly presented me with a pink rose. (When I got home I took about 70 pictures of the rose. I have been that deprived.)
Walking home about midnight on Valentine's, I pluck a few bruised petals off the rose, and think about love, romance and all things silly.
Halfway home, I pass by a Chinese funeral, with the unmistakeable white, lighted tent and people seated around tables chatting and laughing. The sharp sweet scent of chrysanthemum and jasmine is now overpowering, and all too familiar. There is a forlorn line of yellow and white flower wreaths outside the tent. It feels as if they're Valentine's bouquets that have arrived too late.
"Apparently the mingled thread in the web of their life was so curiously twisted together that there could be no joy without a sorrow coming close upon it."
- George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss
I walk past the tent. The pretty pink petals, now warm and crushed in the palm of my hand, still smell soft and delicate and reassuring.
..................................................................................................
I didn't have a very good tutorial on Friday, perhaps because I was feeling lethargic and bored. Perhaps I was too harsh in my feedback to the group presenting because after the tutorial, they sent a representative to explain that they really had put in a lot of work, and they faced time constraints during the presentation, so would I please take that into account.
Argh.
It's always been a fault of mine, even when I was working in the Centre. It's all too easy for me (especially when I'm not thinking properly) to ramble on, picking out all the faults in the essay/presentation. And then I look up, and I see the wee lil' lambs on the verge of tears, convinced that they're going to fail their assignment. So much for EQ.
..................................................................................................
In other news, Kenneth Rufo from Ghost in the Wire, one of my favourite blogs, has been here! *jumps around excitedly* Hi there hi there! *waves* Many many many thanks for the songs! Very bluesy indeed! And I'm still insecure about posting any part of my dissertation anywhere... *cries* It just seems so very half-baked...
And did I mention I love his blog? Even though I don't understand what he's saying half the time?
(Those of you who were there when I was squealing and screaming over getting a comment from "Kenneth Rufo! From Ghost in the Wire! Can you believe it!?", you're not supposed to tell anyone.)
I couldn't seem to post a comment on his blog, so I hope he gets to see this! *jumps around excitedly some more*
..................................................................................................
And Happy Lunar New Year to all! *muackzes to all my darlings*
Walking home about midnight on Valentine's, I pluck a few bruised petals off the rose, and think about love, romance and all things silly.
Halfway home, I pass by a Chinese funeral, with the unmistakeable white, lighted tent and people seated around tables chatting and laughing. The sharp sweet scent of chrysanthemum and jasmine is now overpowering, and all too familiar. There is a forlorn line of yellow and white flower wreaths outside the tent. It feels as if they're Valentine's bouquets that have arrived too late.
"Apparently the mingled thread in the web of their life was so curiously twisted together that there could be no joy without a sorrow coming close upon it."
- George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss
I walk past the tent. The pretty pink petals, now warm and crushed in the palm of my hand, still smell soft and delicate and reassuring.
..................................................................................................
I didn't have a very good tutorial on Friday, perhaps because I was feeling lethargic and bored. Perhaps I was too harsh in my feedback to the group presenting because after the tutorial, they sent a representative to explain that they really had put in a lot of work, and they faced time constraints during the presentation, so would I please take that into account.
Argh.
It's always been a fault of mine, even when I was working in the Centre. It's all too easy for me (especially when I'm not thinking properly) to ramble on, picking out all the faults in the essay/presentation. And then I look up, and I see the wee lil' lambs on the verge of tears, convinced that they're going to fail their assignment. So much for EQ.
..................................................................................................
In other news, Kenneth Rufo from Ghost in the Wire, one of my favourite blogs, has been here! *jumps around excitedly* Hi there hi there! *waves* Many many many thanks for the songs! Very bluesy indeed! And I'm still insecure about posting any part of my dissertation anywhere... *cries* It just seems so very half-baked...
And did I mention I love his blog? Even though I don't understand what he's saying half the time?
(Those of you who were there when I was squealing and screaming over getting a comment from "Kenneth Rufo! From Ghost in the Wire! Can you believe it!?", you're not supposed to tell anyone.)
I couldn't seem to post a comment on his blog, so I hope he gets to see this! *jumps around excitedly some more*
..................................................................................................
And Happy Lunar New Year to all! *muackzes to all my darlings*
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Mood Indigo
I just realised my last 3 post titles ended with 'woes'. Amazing how cheery my life can be, oui? *makes slow and slippery descent into melodrama*
I'm now the proud owner of Robert Jervis' The Logic of Images in International Relations for SGD39.00 just because I took a detour in school today to avoid the rain. Which, all things considered, is a very good buy. But I've read it (very carefully) before, and it's probably going to sit untouched on my shelf till the end of time anyway. Along with every other book I've bought on impulse. (I also bought a book on the politics of culture and theatre in Singapore) I'm way too prone to big impulsive purchases these days.
I bought Corrine Bailey Rae's CD, which is really quite good.
I also bought (and watched!) Gershwin's Porgy and Bess! I watched it in Coffee Bean, where I was supposed to do some substantial work, but oh well. It's a really sad smooshy opera, and watching it for the first time spoilt my day (or what was left of my day at the end of the 3hrs). Sad movies do that to me.
AND I bought Maria Callas' Hamburg concerts of 1959 and 1962! (big impulsive purchases anyone?) And being the philistine that I am, what really struck me was how much a difference make-up makes. Her make-up for the 1959 concert was HORRIBLE. She looked about 70. In contrast, she looked gorgeous in 1962. And much younger.
I had violin lesson this (or rather, yesterday) morning, and my exam piece was stuck in my head the whole day. How irritating is that. Especially since I still can't quite grasp the freaking music. It's like a little itch that won't stop itching, and won't allow itself to be scratched... *trails off into incoherence*
I'm in a bluesy mood now, but I don't have enough music for this mood. Shoots.
Hmmm. I need after-midnight music. More specifically, I need music for the closing minutes at the bar, when cigarettes and empty glasses are being cleared, and chairs are being put up, and the whole place suddenly smells of detergent.
I can't believe I don't have Sinatra's "One for my baby". And I can't believe I don't have any Billie Holiday. There is a big empty hole in my life that is waiting to be filled. My life is not complete!
Please don't let me forget how broke I am.
I'm now the proud owner of Robert Jervis' The Logic of Images in International Relations for SGD39.00 just because I took a detour in school today to avoid the rain. Which, all things considered, is a very good buy. But I've read it (very carefully) before, and it's probably going to sit untouched on my shelf till the end of time anyway. Along with every other book I've bought on impulse. (I also bought a book on the politics of culture and theatre in Singapore) I'm way too prone to big impulsive purchases these days.
I bought Corrine Bailey Rae's CD, which is really quite good.
I also bought (and watched!) Gershwin's Porgy and Bess! I watched it in Coffee Bean, where I was supposed to do some substantial work, but oh well. It's a really sad smooshy opera, and watching it for the first time spoilt my day (or what was left of my day at the end of the 3hrs). Sad movies do that to me.
AND I bought Maria Callas' Hamburg concerts of 1959 and 1962! (big impulsive purchases anyone?) And being the philistine that I am, what really struck me was how much a difference make-up makes. Her make-up for the 1959 concert was HORRIBLE. She looked about 70. In contrast, she looked gorgeous in 1962. And much younger.
I had violin lesson this (or rather, yesterday) morning, and my exam piece was stuck in my head the whole day. How irritating is that. Especially since I still can't quite grasp the freaking music. It's like a little itch that won't stop itching, and won't allow itself to be scratched... *trails off into incoherence*
I'm in a bluesy mood now, but I don't have enough music for this mood. Shoots.
Hmmm. I need after-midnight music. More specifically, I need music for the closing minutes at the bar, when cigarettes and empty glasses are being cleared, and chairs are being put up, and the whole place suddenly smells of detergent.
I can't believe I don't have Sinatra's "One for my baby". And I can't believe I don't have any Billie Holiday. There is a big empty hole in my life that is waiting to be filled. My life is not complete!
Please don't let me forget how broke I am.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Humour woes
JR: (blahs)... in the Q&A session feel free to express yourself... but speak, don't sing.
*deathly silence*
JR: Never mind....
*a few nervous chuckles in the background*
Is it me? Tell me it's not just me.
...
I was watching some crappy movie on AXN (AXN's full of crappy stuff. That's why I watch it.) where they had Russians running around in some snowy place (Siberia?) trying to catch some American spies.
Nothing new, except a comment made by one of the 'Russians', presumably in Russian.
The subtitles (in old-movie white font) read: "Stalin's butt, he tricked us!"
Stalin's butt. Stalin's butt, he tricked us. Hahaha that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long long time. This time it's not just me right?
*deathly silence*
JR: Never mind....
*a few nervous chuckles in the background*
Is it me? Tell me it's not just me.
...
I was watching some crappy movie on AXN (AXN's full of crappy stuff. That's why I watch it.) where they had Russians running around in some snowy place (Siberia?) trying to catch some American spies.
Nothing new, except a comment made by one of the 'Russians', presumably in Russian.
The subtitles (in old-movie white font) read: "Stalin's butt, he tricked us!"
Stalin's butt. Stalin's butt, he tricked us. Hahaha that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long long time. This time it's not just me right?
Monday, February 05, 2007
Dissertation woes
A very uncharacteristic email that I sent off a few minutes ago:
That just about says it all.
Dear Prof,
I've just submitted my paper on ASEAN and international society, and I'm afraid it's not very pretty. I'm truly apologetic, largely because the preceding sentence is a gross understatement. Unfortunately, the entire dissertation project has also degenerated into similar ugliness. I am trying very hard to give some structure to my ideas, but I can't seem to get past the theoretical chapter. Would you be able to make it for consultation this Wed or Fri afternoon? Thank you.
Regards,
Elaine
That just about says it all.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Essay woes
I just spent 7 hrs playing a repetitive, brainless online game. 7hrs! This from a person who deleted minesweeper from her computer because she just used to sit there and play for hours without realizing. So that's not too surprising. I hate online games.
Oh my precious 7 hrs... *groan* I really really really needed those 7hrs for my essay. I'm going to die, and there's no essay god I can pray to, so I'm definitely going to essay hell... *buries face in hands* Why? Why do I do this to myself?
And to my dearest LSB, in response to the question you asked over MSN (I didn't answer because I was busy playing my all important game. I didn't even eat dinner today!), we'll probably have to spend it doing work... *poor poor us*
Oh my precious 7 hrs... *groan* I really really really needed those 7hrs for my essay. I'm going to die, and there's no essay god I can pray to, so I'm definitely going to essay hell... *buries face in hands* Why? Why do I do this to myself?
And to my dearest LSB, in response to the question you asked over MSN (I didn't answer because I was busy playing my all important game. I didn't even eat dinner today!), we'll probably have to spend it doing work... *poor poor us*
Friday, February 02, 2007
News and Persuasion
Putin 'not running away' from Russia
"In my day, I did judo, not athletics. I'm not planning to run away anywhere."
This irritated me, largely because it was an inept, unsophisticated attempt to make the argument that Putin does not intend to leave Russian politics. I might not disagree with the conclusion, but presenting a half-ass reason like "Putin used 'we' instead of 'they'" is silly. If you want to say something like that, there's plenty of ammunition you can muster from Russia's history, Putin's history, whatever. Trying to end the article on an ominous/fortune-telling note just sounds clumsy. It's as if all readers are supposed to gasp collectively at Putin's tendency to use 'we' instead of 'they'. It's not like he promised the return of Communist Russia or anything. Please. There're many much more intelligent ways in which you can conclude.
The Discovery/National Geographic programmes that (always!) end in a similar 'and-dark-clouds-loom' fashion never fail to irritate me.
Oh the intoxicating pleasure I get from telling people what to think.
"In my day, I did judo, not athletics. I'm not planning to run away anywhere."
Listing Russia's achievements, Mr Putin also admitted its shortcomings.
"We still have a lot to do in the social sphere," he admitted in his opening remarks.
The "we" intriguingly suggested that if he no longer remained a member of the team, he would still be close to it - whether the game was athletics, judo, or running Russia.
This irritated me, largely because it was an inept, unsophisticated attempt to make the argument that Putin does not intend to leave Russian politics. I might not disagree with the conclusion, but presenting a half-ass reason like "Putin used 'we' instead of 'they'" is silly. If you want to say something like that, there's plenty of ammunition you can muster from Russia's history, Putin's history, whatever. Trying to end the article on an ominous/fortune-telling note just sounds clumsy. It's as if all readers are supposed to gasp collectively at Putin's tendency to use 'we' instead of 'they'. It's not like he promised the return of Communist Russia or anything. Please. There're many much more intelligent ways in which you can conclude.
The Discovery/National Geographic programmes that (always!) end in a similar 'and-dark-clouds-loom' fashion never fail to irritate me.
Oh the intoxicating pleasure I get from telling people what to think.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
The Milgram Experiment
Obeying and Resisting Malevolent Orders
Would you obey orders to hurt an innocent individual-even when the authority issuing them has no coercive means to enforce his or her commands? On the basis of one of the 20th century's most important and controversial pieces of research, chances are that you would. In the early 1960s, Yale social psychologist Stanley Milgram, PhD, conducted an experiment whose purpose was supposedly to study the effects of punishment on learning. The experimenter told the subject that his job was to teach a learner in an adjacent room to memorize a list of word-pairs, and every time the learner made an error, the teacher-subject was to punish the learner by giving him increasingly severe shocks by pressing levers on a shock machine. There were 30 levers whose shock values ranged from a low of 15 volts to the maximum of 450 volts. (In actuality, no electric shock was involved. The "learner" was an actor who only pretended receiving them, but the subject did not know this.) Despite the learner's increasingly pitiful screams and pleas to stop, a majority of subjects (over 60%) obeyed the experimenter's commands to continue and ended up giving the maximum "shock" of 450 volts.
Would you obey orders to hurt an innocent individual-even when the authority issuing them has no coercive means to enforce his or her commands? On the basis of one of the 20th century's most important and controversial pieces of research, chances are that you would. In the early 1960s, Yale social psychologist Stanley Milgram, PhD, conducted an experiment whose purpose was supposedly to study the effects of punishment on learning. The experimenter told the subject that his job was to teach a learner in an adjacent room to memorize a list of word-pairs, and every time the learner made an error, the teacher-subject was to punish the learner by giving him increasingly severe shocks by pressing levers on a shock machine. There were 30 levers whose shock values ranged from a low of 15 volts to the maximum of 450 volts. (In actuality, no electric shock was involved. The "learner" was an actor who only pretended receiving them, but the subject did not know this.) Despite the learner's increasingly pitiful screams and pleas to stop, a majority of subjects (over 60%) obeyed the experimenter's commands to continue and ended up giving the maximum "shock" of 450 volts.
The Stanford Prison Experiment
The Stanford Prison Experiment: A Simulation Study of the Psychology of Imprisonment
Excerpts from the slide show:
Excerpts from the slide show:
What suspects had done was to answer a local newspaper ad calling for volunteers in a study of the psychological effects of prison life. We wanted to see what the psychological effects were of becoming a prisoner or prison guard. To do this, we decided to set up a simulated prison and then carefully note the effects of this institution on the behavior of all those within its walls.
Our study of prison life began, then, with an average group of healthy, intelligent, middle-class males. These boys were arbitrarily divided into two groups by a flip of the coin. Half were randomly assigned to be guards, the other to be prisoners. It is important to remember that at the beginning of our experiment there were no differences between boys assigned to be a prisoner and boys assigned to be a guard.
...
Most prisoners believed that the subjects selected to be guards were chosen because they were bigger than those who were made prisoners, but actually, there was no difference in the average height of the two groups.
...
As soon as I realized that #819 could hear the chanting, I raced back to the room where I had left him, and what I found was a boy sobbing uncontrollably while in the background his fellow prisoners were yelling that he was a bad prisoner. No longer was the chanting disorganized and full of fun, as it had been on the first day. Now it was marked by utter confomity and compliance, as if a single voice was saying, "#819 is bad."
I suggested we leave, but he refused. Through his tears, he said he could not leave because the others had labeled him a bad prisoner. Even though he was feeling sick, he wanted to go back and prove he was not a bad prisoner.
...
when we ended the hearings by telling prisoners to go back to their cells while we considered their requests, every prisoner obeyed, even though they could have obtained the same result by simply quitting the experiment. Why did they obey? Because they felt powerless to resist. Their sense of reality had shifted, and they no longer perceived their imprisonment as an experiment. In the psychological prison we had created, only the correctional staff had the power to grant paroles.
During the parole hearings we also witnessed an unexpected metamorphosis of our prison consultant as he adopted the role of head of the Parole Board. He literally became the most hated authoritarian official imaginable, so much so that when it was over he felt sick at who he had become -- his own tormentor who had previously rejected his annual parole requests for 16 years when he was a prisoner.
...
Prisoners coped with their feelings of frustration and powerlessness in a variety of ways. At first, some prisoners rebelled or fought with the guards. Four prisoners reacted by breaking down emotionally as a way to escape the situation. One prisoner developed a psychosomatic rash over his entire body when he learned that his parole request had been turned down. Others tried to cope by being good prisoners, doing everything the guards wanted them to do. One of them was even nicknamed "Sarge," because he was so military-like in executing all
commands.
By the end of the study, the prisoners were disintegrated, both as a group and as individuals. There was no longer any group unity; just a bunch of isolated individuals hanging on, much like prisoners of war or hospitalized mental patients. The guards had won total control of the prison, and they commanded the blind obedience of each prisoner.
...
At this point it became clear that we had to end the study. We had created an overwhelmingly powerful situation -- a situation in which prisoners were withdrawing and behaving in pathological ways, and in which some of the guards were behaving sadistically. Even the "good" guards felt helpless to intervene, and none of the guards quit while the study was in progress. Indeed, it should be noted that no guard ever came late for his shift, called in sick, left early, or demanded extra pay for overtime work.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Typical LSB-Justareed (JR) MSN Convy
JR: LSB!
LSB: ????????// yes dearie?
JR: i missed u today cute(
LSB: haha tat's so sweet
LSB: have u bn doing work
JR: an itsy bitsy teeny little bit
JR: u say me sweet?
JR: yes? u say me sweet?
LSB: erm........
JR: u say me sweet?
JR: yes? sweet?
LSB: yes yes
JR: hehehehehehehehehehe
JR: snigger
JR: so shy
LSB: erm diao
LSB: ????????// yes dearie?
JR: i missed u today cute(
LSB: haha tat's so sweet
LSB: have u bn doing work
JR: an itsy bitsy teeny little bit
JR: u say me sweet?
JR: yes? u say me sweet?
LSB: erm........
JR: u say me sweet?
JR: yes? sweet?
LSB: yes yes
JR: hehehehehehehehehehe
JR: snigger
JR: so shy
LSB: erm diao
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