Summer in Aber - Sea and Castle Ruins

Plus two of the pubs we frequent:

On football

Most of you will know that I'm not much of an underdog person. I always think the underdog has less to lose, you know?

Anyway, what I wanted to talk about is goalkeepers. I've always thought goalkeepers are really tragic. If the opposition scores a goal, they can't escape blame; if their own side scores a goal, they seldom have any part in it. There's something very tragic and heroic in the way they launch themselves in the way of incoming balls. It's almost as if they are the willing sacrificial lambs of the game. I would totally run away because I'd be afraid of getting hit by the balls. I'd make a lousy goalkeeper because I'd rather concede a goal than get hit by the ball. In truth, I'd make a lousy footballer because I'm afraid of balls that fly too fast and hard. Unless somebody invented slow-motion football.

I've discovered that I don't like things that fly, especially insects. I'm much more comfortable with insects that crawl, as long as they don't crawl very fast. Or maybe I just don't like things that move fast.

This article amuses me to no end. Go World Cup!

Hysterical, deluded and thoroughly English

"Unlike the English the French are able to switch off the team when they're angry with it. People are disgusted. But they don't go into the anguish of looking at the country as a whole. They just say the team are horrible people."

Not only do the English never learn. They appear to thrive on the masochism of outlandish hope followed by tragic defeat, he argues.

"I think people enjoy the ritual. Every four years it happens and takes you back to previous tournaments. It's a communal moment, people sharing the pain with each other at the bus stop. It's that thing about big World Cup games that end in tragedy - usually on penalties, ideally to Germany."

Nature is for laughs

Doubt

Just watched Doubt, which I'd always meant to watch but somehow never did. Wonderful film & extremely talented actors, though a bit too sombre for my mood today.

Also, I never thought I'd say this, but isn't football such a lovely sport?

It's slightly perverse. I hadn't touched my violin for months until the day I put it in storage. While waiting for the guys (actually, a lady. gal power!) to pick up my stuff, I played it in the kitchen (most of my housemates had already moved out anyway, and I also muted my violin), and it felt so good. And now that it's safely in storage and I can't get at it, I'm longing to play my violin. I know I'm crap at the violin, but there's something about the intimacy and closeness of the violin that the piano (or guitar!!!!!) can't replicate. It's almost like having a 2nd voice. Argh I need to just fall asleep and stop torturing myself.

slacking

It's absolutely lovely living by the sea (I mean, within walking distance of the sea). The weather has been wonderful and I have acquired an SG-worthy tan. It's so hard to stay in my room when the sun's shining outside, so I've developed a habit of going out to the sea in the afternoon and pretending to work there. And now that I've bought sunglasses, cap, and flip flops that I can actually wear outside, I'm less likely to totter home suffering from heat stroke, but much much more likely to skip my way home with sandy toes. I love Aber in the summer! The sea quite literally shimmers, and there're plenty of people walking their dogs at the beach, and it's nothing like those dreary winter months at all!



The beach is a lot busier than it seems in this picture. That's partly because I don't want anyone to think I'm taking pics of any of the bikini babes/topless hunks lying around, so I take pictures at the more deserted parts of the beach.

I used to 'work' in Spoon's when the weather was colder:



Now I 'work' by the sea:



Oh, and ice-cream by the sea? Heaven.

Yay girly mags!

Mags here are great! I bought a mag at 3.60GBP, and I got a 50ml shower gel (which smells great, by the way), a perfume sample (albeit the headache-inducing Alien), and a cappucino sample! My (new!) roommates got another mag for 2GBP, & got a Benefit eye-brightener (some makeup thingy), full size! So exciting!

Paralysis by analysis - Being your own Hamlet (why leave Hamlet to the actors?)

I hate marking essays.

I love House.

I have an assignment deadline on the 8th.

I need to finish marking by the 9th.

I'm not going to finish marking anytime soon.

What's Your Secret?

Fifty People One Question :: PostSecret: Confessions On Life, Death & God

In embarrassing music phase

David Ford: I Don't Care What You Call Me

I wanted to say something about the lyrics, but couldn't think of anything other than 'brilliant' and 'very genuine' and 'very real' and 'we've all been there before', which makes me sound like a talent show judge. I think I've no choice but to go with 'ouch'.

Incidentally, I have a presentation tomorrow which I haven't prepared for (oh damn, it's past midnight here, so that makes it today), which is why I'm surfing the net and blogging about songs.

New Favourite Song - David Ford: Cheer Up (You Miserable Fuck)

Still alive and kicking

Just finished my first year presentation yesterday, which didn't go too badly.

It's getting much warmer now, which is good, except there are now many many huge insects flying about and getting into the house. Not so good.

I can't believe I'm approaching the end of my first year... I feel as if I haven't done anything!

Country Roads

I was feeling a little troubled, so I randomly wandered down a lane behind my house today.



It was a (relatively) warm and sunny day, so the view was pretty good.







P.S. I actually have clearer pictures, but I'm developing a fondness for the blurry ones...

Sunset, Aberystwyth

So I was brisk walking down to library in order to return overdue books before the library closed, and walked into yet another glorious Aberystwyth sunset. Sunsets in Aberystwyth are generally rather glorious.

Yesterday, my friend was telling me about his trip to a waterfall somewhere in Latin America (I forget where). He was telling me how magical it was, because he was standing in the spray, totally soaked, and the sunlight was refracting off the water droplets, and it was like standing in the middle of a rainbow. His friend had tried to take pictures of everything, but they never came out. This was a memory he would carry with him to the end of his life, he said.

My campus is on top of a hill facing the sea. In front of the library, there is a large square with a beautiful view of the sea. It was Sunday evening, so the square was pretty deserted, except for a handful of people, quietly standing and looking at the sunset. This is the sun setting over the Irish Sea, and it's just one of those views that remind me how freaking beautiful our world can be. The entire sky is painted in shades of orange and purple and pink and remnants of blue. It's been a clear day, so there're only a few wispy clouds. Away from the blazing sun, in one corner of the sky, there's a crescent moon. The trees are mostly still bare, and the branches look as if they're glowing with some inner fire. The sea is shimmering, and you can see the now-familiar silhouettes of Aberystwyth town, the Old College, and castle ruins bathed in light. A flock of birds flies past, and you can hear the seagulls calling. Two planes pass by, probably heading to Ireland, with their trails catching the light and turning orange-red, and they look like two fiery comets streaking across the sky. It is a view to break your heart. I reach for my handphone to take a picture, and realise that I've left it at home.

Sometimes Aberystwyth can be a dreary town. It's cold and windy, the hill is an ass to climb, and there's really nothing much to do. But there is space here. I constantly look up at the sky because I'm always surprised by how vast the sky is. Under this sky, I could be anyone I want. I could fail and drop out and disappear if I wanted to. I could travel to any corner of the earth I liked. And there are glorious sunsets.

Except... except sometimes you can't have both love and freedom, and the most magical moments are those you fail to capture and keep.

Lalala

More flowers from LSB sitting on my desk.

More flowers from LSB!

This time instead of soft white and pink roses and lilies and carnations, they're a bouquet of many cheerful candy colours. They're on my study table now!

You know you're a post-grad with a deadline when...

You're faced with a choice between moldy bread, cooking, and starving.

Faced with a choice of moldy bread, cooking, or starving, you choose moldy bread.

(You can afford to die, but you can't afford to buy more food or the time taken to buy more food. Or cook.)

(You try to tear away the little blue spots first though. You are a highly intelligent post-grad after all.)

You're faced with a choice between expired milk and vodka.

(Red Bull ran out.)

Faced with a choice between expired milk and vodka, you choose expired milk.

(Because vodka's not a good idea when you're trying to write. Post-grad smarts again!)

Guess who's visiting the doctor tomorrow?

Les Fleurs

I got flowers from LSB! Lalalalala...

I need civilization!

2 of my housemates decided to grab me and carry me out of the kitchen in a misguided attempt to get me to go work at the computer room. I haven't been manhandled like that in years! Barbarians! Argh!

Pre- (that's an assumption) work entry

Oh god, when will they kick me out for not doing any work? I think instant noodles are in order.

[PAUSE]

I've been running around like a headless chicken high on a concoction of party drugs and a floral bouquet of many bottles of wines. And restless chicken toes.

Definitely restless chicken toes.

My mum has tried to convince me to bring a (bulb? blob? bazooka?) of garlic back to Aber/Abby.

I'm sitting back and absorbing that fact for a minute or so.

Abby has the ruins of a castle, but I don't think they're big on vampires. Can't imagine vampire with Welsh accent.

My dad bought me a humongous box of love letters, being unhappily deluded that my minuscule luggage has space for anything other than the dead cat and its resident maggots that I'm already carrying.

I dearly wanted to buy a dried lizard for my housemate. What would I say when they check my baggage though? That's the question.

"That's Robert. Kicked the bucket when a big bottle of ketchup fell on him. I dried him out and take him wherever I go. Can't do without him, the darling. Smells of tomatoes though. Good thing I like ketchup."

I like to fill my luggage with dead animals.

I was sitting in Coffee Bean trying to study, when this 3 year old girl next to me suddenly clutched at her heart, stared sorrowfully into the middle distance, and started singing. It was fairly tuneless singing, but it might have been My Way. Emo kids start young.

I traipsed all over Singapore today carrying my laptop. I got home without so much as tenderly caressing the keyboard.

I don't have time to do any work. My hair keeps falling out. I think they're abandoning ship.

[PLAY]

Lesson of 2009

Guess what happens when you apply heavy duty sunblock everywhere except the area around your eyes?

Singapore's 'bird market'

This is a strange sort of article on Singapore. There is some social commentary there, but it's as if the themes crisscross and interweave and end nowhere except in a sort of exotic-Zen-transcendental-urban-traditional-dreamscape of Singapore... I could imagine this being made into one of those arty short films.

the weather

They say it's going to be a cold winter. I'll be honest, I can't actually see myself surviving this.

I can hear the wind actually howling outside my window now. Sigh.

Halloween

For Halloween (apart for the black shirt, which I'm guessing doesn't count), my only costume was my perfume, Mandragore, which is supposed to have mandrake somewhere in it.

I don't think anyone noticed though. Sighz.

Possibly my most embarrassing moment in the past 6 months

I was just about to go out to do my laundry when this insect the size of my palm, and with ONLY FOUR LEGS!!!! (how freaky is that????) flew into my room and perched on the wall above my bed.

I opened my door and asked it to leave, I switched off the lights, I even threw a ball of paper at it (a few times!). Finally, determined to get it out of my room dead or alive (the insect, not me), I went downstairs to the broom cupboard to get a broom (duh). I marched back up, then stopped and stared for a long moment at the insect.

Then the silliness of glaring at an insect, holding a broom, getting ready to wage WWIII hit me, and I started laughing. Then I realised I didn't actually dare to whack it with the broom, and then wished that LSB was here to help me get rid of it, and then I was laughing AND crying.

And that was how my housemate found me when she came out to investigate the source of the crazy giggles. I was entirely speechless, so I just pointed at the ridiculous insect (still calmly perched on my wall dammit!). She promptly went down to fetch one of the guys (who looked pretty annoyed) to pick it up with some tissue. I could only manage a choked expression of gratitude, I'm afraid.

If it only had 4 legs, was it even an insect?

Oh happy day!

Never mind the totally miserable bit of work I submitted to my supervisor (along with a miserable email that I thoroughly regret now). As I said, I do stupid things, so never mind that for now.

It's been amazingly sunny for Aber. I've become something of a sun fiend because seriously, I need to warm my fingers & toes. I woke early this morning to work, and ended up sitting and typing on the window ledge (which had the biggest patch of sunlight I could find.) (Also, I'm getting quite enamoured of sitting on window ledges.) Incidentally, waking up early in the morning (for me that's about 7am-ish) should always be accompanied by this, what I call 'the slowly realizing that oh shit I am conscious music':



That should always be followed by this bit of music, the 'let's build up momentum and overcome inertia - but I'm sleepy - ok let's try again - music':



Anyway, I sent my violin for repairs (for those of you in the know, in the end I didn't have to venture into the Welsh forests since the guy asked me to leave it at a music shop in town), and after that I was supposed to buy groceries, but oh, the sea... it was sunny and the sea was so pretty and blue today that I couldn't resist buying an ice-cream cone and walking on the beach (for the 1st time since coming here!). It's a rather pebbly beach, but still so pretty! No driftwood anywhere, and it's as if the sea goes on forever (well until it hits Ireland anyway), and it's miles and miles of clear, blue water (really, the water is completely clear, I guess cos there's no sand or mud). Seagulls flying far away and minimal crowd except for a few tots playing with the water, the sea shimmering in the sun, a huge expanse of clear blue sky... Ah I'm rather in love with the seafront right now.

Cat-napping

Funny how after that really grumpy post, I had a moment of such absolute bliss. (In case you're wondering, I have an assignment due today, which explains the overwhelming blog presence.)

It's a sunny day (!!!!!) in Aberystwyth and there's a little spot of sun on the window ledge next to my table, on which I love to rest me poor achin' head. I'd sprayed a bit of En Mediterranee, and decided to nap a bit in that precious spot of sun. Such a blissful moment... the beautiful beautiful scent of tobacco & grass & soil & citrus mixed with the oily smell of cooking from downstairs and a faint whiff of fresh cow dung, all warmed by the lovely lovely sun, bumblebees buzzing outside my window, and a slight chill from the air outside, plus Beethoven's Spring Sonata on the radio...

Come to think of it, I did classify En Mediterranee as a close-to-the-sea countryside scent, though I didn't think of that when I decided to bring it along. I do love the sun (in moderate amounts), and I do love lazy luxurious habits like napping in the sun. Ah I'm a lazy bum.

What I miss

Ok, this is going to be my 'homesickness' post that you all knew was coming up anyway.

Apart from the usual 'I miss my family/bf' rant, I also miss several things:

1. I miss my music dammit. I can't play piano OR violin in my room. I can't seem to think without my music.

2. I miss departmental stores where I can get my perfume fix.

3. I miss taking my laptop out to a cafe to study/read/surf the internet. And I miss sitting at a cafe and reading till late at night.

4. I miss regular public transport and not having to walk till my knees go bust.

5. I miss the freedom to be myself at home. There're always 'strangers' (i.e. my housemates) around, and while they're nice enough, I just feel a bit inhibited by the presence of 'other people' 24/7, ya know? I feel as if I'm a bit of a prisoner in my own house.

?!?!?!

Coming back from class this afternoon, I saw a herd of cows in the field behind the house.

Wtf?!?!?!

And then found out from a friend that there's a farm behind our residence.

Yes people, there are cows behind my house. Real life cows.

And yes, I took a nap just now and woke to the sound of cows mooing. Incidentally, the sound of mooing is a lot less domestic / tranquil than you might imagine. It comes out more as a desperate growl emanating from the depths of an animal-slave destined for the steak plate. (By the way, the boyfriend recently accused me of being overly dramatic. Seriously? Me?)

And yes, I came out to do my laundry and the cows looked menacingly at me and I was half-afraid they'd charge the very flimsy looking wire fence (!!!!!) and trample me to death and go off snorting 'Medium rare indeed!'. Cows are big animals. Someone should install a high security fence, probably something along the lines of those used in Jurassic Park, but without the constant malfunctions. The current fence wouldn't stop a goat.

And yes, I read an article on BBC before coming to Wales on precisely this tragic manner of death (the trampling, not the cooking).

I think I might be afraid of cows.

Some pictures

Train to Devil's Bridge



I suppose this is Devil's Bridge? We didn't spend a lot of time here...



Dangerous looking rocks & water



View from my room



View of town & sea from bridge



Seafront!



Old College, by the sea.



Castle ruins & some monument.



National library.



View from National library.



Another view from National Library.

"Heteroscedasticity"

... was the word I didn't understand in an article I was reading today. Was hoping it'd be something cool, but checked wikipedia and turns out it's some statistics thing. Blah.

Just an update

In case any of you were wondering, yes I'm already in Aber aka Abby to differentiate from birthplace. For some reason, the UK doesn't feel all that foreign to me. Maybe it's because they all speak English, but I don't really feel like I'm away from home. Perhaps it's also because I'm so familiar with all the names, having imbibed large amounts of English literature / literature drawing on Welsh mythology that I almost feel as if I was here a long time ago, and have merely forgotten all about it.

Btw, no pictures at the moment, but Abby is a very small town (only 20k people!), but is one of those picturesque ones. There're also tonnes of Chinese takeaways, pubs & healthfood stores. I was very relieved to find that it's much cheaper than London (I almost didn't dare to eat anything in London, just in case I accidentally bankrupted myself, my family, and half of Singapore.)

In any case, I'm still trying to set up my internet (am currently using university's computer room), so I'm not on MSN or anything like that. You guys can send me emails, I shall check as frequently as I can.

Things to remember while falling from a very high place

1. "A freely falling observer has every reason to consider himself to be in a state of inertial motion." - Peter Coles, Cosmology: A Very Short Introduction, p.20

2. Scream "F***ing scientists & their f***ing experiments!!!!!!!!!!!" (note to self: will probably come out as 'AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!')

In little pieces

Lavondyss (sequel to Mythago Wood) is mind-screwy.

Why does it take me 4hrs to write a harmless email? It's just 2 lines! I have become totally paranoid. I fiddled endlessly with the email and ended up taking a really deep breath & sending out the original version.

What is wrong with me???? I remember the days when I'd shoot emails to friends & lecturers alike with nary a second thought.

I totally understand LSB *gives LSB commiserating pats on back* when he says that you need to be distracted from work in order to do work. That's the story of my life.

I spent a mini-fortune on my hair today, but I have a bad feeling it's not going to last.

I also feel like playing the piano, but I can't, just in case our neighbour set fire to our house.

Grrr. I feel like I need to bite something.

Collecting

So, the question is - though obviously I should be thinking about more important things like, should I or should I not buy an eyepatch in my new home by the sea and wear it for the rest of my days, or will that be an unwelcome reminder of the Viking days when someone's great great great great great grandfather got cleav'd in two, and thus result in my attaining the same fate in most delay'd vengeance? - have I become a collector of perfume? This is a big question for me, of course, because *collectors* are bespectacled old men who inevitably get murdered for the crown jewel (sometimes literally) of their collection, or old spinsters who die smothered by their collection falling on them.

I was traipsing through Far East the other day, when I randomly decided to visit a perfume discounter, and spotted a bottle of Hiris. The salesgirl checked the price for me, and to both our astonishment (she even doublechecked her ledger), it was a mere SGD30! A handful of pennies, I say, so I carelessly threw the amount on the counter and instructed the girl to wrap it up and send it to my address. (Actually, I paid by NETS & told them I didn't need the plastic bag.)

So, anyway, am I a collector? Cos I sure feel like one. I catch myself thinking thoughts like 'I don't think I'd wear that perfume, but it's a must-have, so I need to buy it *obsesses*'. And 'I think I don't quite have enough rose scents, or ginger ones. Maybe I should check out the reviews & discounters.'

Also, I didn't need to buy Hiris... I don't *need* it, I have Infusion d'Iris & Iris Nobile sitting prettily in my collection already...

OMFGWBTFF (I don't know what this means, btw - Oh My F* Gorillas' Warts But That's F* Flatulent?) I AM a collector!

And you know, if my collection comes crashing down on me, the smell will cover up the stink of my rotting body, so it would take days more for the neighbours to finally ring up the police. I will be the most perfumed corpse east of the sun.

_____________________________________

Oh, & 1 more bit of perfume & moi TMI news - I've been enjoying Guardian's ginger body lotion (SGD1.95!) layered with L'Occitane's Honey & Lemon perfume (SGD... never mind), and occasionally tinged with unknown Japanese lip balm with a wonderful rose scent (SGD3 or so). The whole combination makes me feel rather... organic. But in any case! *recovers from yet another inane remark* There's something about ginger & honey & lemon & rose that comes through really well when combined with (erm... I don't know how else to say this...) body warmth. It's like all these delicious scents get heated up on the skin & start wafting here & there... *trails off into merciful silence*

Mythago Wood

Just bought Mythago Wood from Kino on a whim today, and as usual, eyes practically glued to the book till I was done. (note: glued eyes not indicator of quality as happenes with every fiction book. Opposite effect observed with non-fiction.) (Sorry LSB, will still finish stuff on time.)

I've realised I'm no good at reviews, mostly because I seldom emerge from any book with any coherent thought, more of vague impressions and feelings. Mythago Wood is dark and scary and rather intense, not the type of book you'd like to finish reading at 2am, with nobody around to talk to. There're certain books & films that you finish with a certain... warped sense of reality, usually in a 'time is out of joint' and slightly unpleasant way. Which testifies to the superbness of the work, btw. Perhaps the word I'm looking for is 'haunting'... yet 'haunting' does not adequately convey the very small but primal core of fear created by this book. It's more like waking from a nightmare and being momentarily unable to differentiate dream from reality, disoriented and half-certain that the scary but wondrous creatures of the dark are about to pounce. (In a magical way. Full of mythology, adventure and strange, frightening things that lurk just a step beyond human knowledge.)

So I've put on the music, and pilfered some ham & cheese (yay ham & cheese! all hail marketing day, when there's still ham & cheese in the house!) from the fridge, poured myself a cup of rose tea, and am now waiting for the sense of normalcy to return. Anyway, excellent book, highly recommended.

Also, I have a feeling my mood last night was rather affected by a partial reading of Kundera's Unbearable Lightness of Being. Suggest LSB read his copy when he has the time.

(Yes, I communicate with LSB via my blog. It's rather strange and almost exhibitionist, but I can't be bothered to sms/email/MSN, and I don't think he'd appreciate me calling with a book recommendation at this time.)

(Also, I think that for a few moments after reading a book, my writing style mimics the author's. The 1st 2 paragraphs of this blog entry are very... Mythago Wood. It's slightly scary to think of myself as an unconscious writer's chameleon, it's almost as if I'm living out the 'atmosphere' of the book. Hmmm ok I'm frightening myself.)

Pretty Stories

There's this really charming article on BBC, and I can see why it captured the imaginations of so many treasure hunters. The 'treasure' is really pretty too...

The last 2 movies I watched were pretty good - Up and District 9. Of the 2, I liked District 9 better, because while Up was more touching (for me), it is likely one of those movies whose impact disappears the 2nd time you watch.

DISTRICT 9 SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!





















District 9, on the other hand... The mark of a good movie is how realistic it is. The situations don't have to be realistic, the characters don't have to be realistic, but the movie has to be realistic. District 9 is a movie about aliens, and yet stays so contemporary and relevant and real... It was so realistic that on several occasions way before the movie ended, I genuinely thought the protagonist was going to die. (yeah, I know) True, there are caricatures in the movie, like a criminal boss who eats aliens as part of some black magic (??) rituals. But then again, I recall the reports of albinos being killed and eaten because eating them is supposed to give you some sort of powers. The movie was cheeky in many instances, for example, the Nigerians & the whole cat food scam. But there is a bitter core of reality even in these instances. It is, in all, a very depressing movie. In this movie, the heroism of individuals does not actually have any uplifting effect, not for me anyway. The whole movie is too darn depressing because the worst parts of it are real, and the best parts... we can only hope.

Another mark of a good movie (or a really bad trailer), the movie was better than the trailer. See the very innovative website for the movie, supposedly run by the bad guy (MNU) - http://www.d-9.com/. Their marketing techniques are very interesting... See also the blog by a 'non-human dissident' at http://mnuspreadslies.com/, and more information on the movie & marketing at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/District_9.

Is cute cockroach!

I saw a cute cockroach for the 1st time in my life! I was walking up the stairs to my house when I suddenly saw a big fat cockroach on the stairs, so I did a mini-gasp/scream. And then the cockroach was so frightened that it jumped up! And it accidentally landed on its back, so it had to flip itself back up. Then for some reason, the cockroach headed menacingly down the stairs towards me (cockroaches are aggressive...) and I was terrified until it... accidentally slipped off the stairs and fell 1 floor down with some slightly panicked fluttering...... So cute (but in a scary way)!!!!!! I still don't like cockroaches though...

I seem to have adjusted to non-working life surprisingly quickly. I had expected at least a few more days of waking up at 7am and feeling strange that I'm not working. Instead I'm already sleeping at 5am and waking at noon. It's as if I'd never started work at all... (maybe this is my natural state)

He is ROBOCHICKEN!!!!!

Half robot, half chicken, I give you... *drumroll*



ROBOCHICKEN!!!!!! The mighty winged superhero guards the nation from the evil scourge of annoying colleagues and crazy customers! (even though he's made of blutack and thumbtacks)

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Sending some love to the BBC for giving us this lovely poem by Carol Ann Duffy and a big hug for this wonderful perfume news. I especially love the last pre-emptive sentence of the perfume article.

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Anyway, a minor crisis at work to settle tomorrow, so, ya know.

About to puke blood

LINC is down dammit! And I'm in the midst of doing a biblio! ARGH I am so pissed I'm taking a break from the stupid biblio for the time being.

Btw, I also had to jump through hoops the size of my conscience to get Wireless@SG today. FREE WIRELESS PEOPLE, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?????? What do I have to do to enjoy free, unlimited wireless use dammit.

And work hasn't been a breeze either. I was always under the impression that once you've tendered you basically spend the rest of the time bumming, waiting to leave. But it seems that all resigning means is EVERYTHING has a very strict and tight deadline. No more 'no rush for this, I'll look at it when I have the time'. EVERYTHING is urgent now. Not to mention everybody is trying to get me to put the whole world right before I go. All I've been doing is coming up with new templates and guidelines and systems and rules. AND my boss asked me to PRINT a copy of every new template/guideline I've introduced. Last count was oh, about 120 files? FILES my dears, not pages. And I'm not even done yet! Not to mention we're getting a new PR system for which I have to do ALL the templates & guidelines and for some reason everytime someone doesn't know what to do they ask me. Didn't you attend the training huh? What, am I a computer expert now? What makes you think I know? And our new assessment system is the same. 'Ask Elaine ask Elaine ask Elaine'. Dudes, just use your common sense. Oh, and did I mention 1 staff submitted FIVE staff suggestions today? That's FIVE additional things I have to work on.

DAMMIT why isn't anyone free for drinks tonight? I'm in such a bad mood.

Thoughts

It's rare that I'm glad to hear from these religious types, but I am in this case.

Very unexpectedly, the most rewarding part of my job has been managing staff, and yet I also consider this to have been my greatest failure.

Managing staff has been one of the most difficult and time-consuming things I've had to do, and my patience has been sorely tried. But it is gratifying to see recalcitrant staff respond after months and months of coaching and confidence-building, even if it is just the slightest improvement. It is also very gratifying to know that to some extent, they see someone who is 'different' from previous supervisors. Of course I'm realistic enough to know that once I leave, they'll forget me very quickly, and if I make a mistake and generate more work for them, they'll definitely whine my ears off and complain very loudly about me behind my back. Still, I know that in my unit, the relationship between supervisor and subordinates has never been better.

On the other hand, I truly regret that in some cases I overplayed my hand. I got too close to some staff and now they don't truly regard me as a supervisor. It doesn't affect me, but it will affect them if they don't change. Another nagging worry is that I failed to put in a sustainable system, and once I'm gone, the new person has to start all over again, and everything that was achieved just disappears.

My problem seems to be that I can't properly work on anything unless I'm fully invested, and once that happens, I find it hard to let go. I can't believe I spend so much of my time worrying about what's going to happen to the affairs under my charge once I leave.

Childhood dreams

Just a quick note first - has anyone noticed how damn popular Obama is? (ok so I'm late on the scene) We're like, Obama swatted a fly! Obama's teleprompter smashed! Obama chose a dog! Someone do an Obama trivia quiz already. Oh wait.

But the fly-swatting thing is really cool.

Anyways.

I had 2 childhood dreams. The first was to become an astronaut and fly (sail?) into the far reaches of outer space, going where no man has gone before (!!!!), then when I run out of food & water & oxygen, I would slowly waste away and turn into a dessicated skeleton travelling forever in a spaceship. This was my 'happy thoughts' fantasy, something I used to imagine when I was feeling happy and optimistic. (yep) (though it's kind of romantic, no?)

But whenever I was angry or angsty I'd dream of living all my life alone, locked up in an old tower filled with books, and I'd read all those books and be the wisest person in the world. And of course there would be waves crashing outside and I would read by candlelight (the tower is on an isolated coast). Less obviously, I would survive on a diet of maggi mee (since I didn't foresee having a fully equipped kitchen or much choice wrt groceries).

(I'm the kid who throws a tantrum and screams 'I'll lock myself up in a library forever! And I will READ! Do NOT make me go there! I might even die a slow death in a cluster of stars previously unknown to man, and you will regret!" Ah which parents would not cower before such threats?)

But it just shows you should be careful what you wish for, because my bookworm-hermit dream looks like it's about to come true. (Isolated beach? check. (Ivory) tower? check. Lots of books & reading? check. Diet of maggi mee? oh god.)

So I'm of two minds about this. On one hand the voice in my head is reduced to some gibberish repetition of 'my life is over my life is over I will die there what have I done?' On the other hand, the other voice in my head is like, 'I will retreat into my tower and acquire great knowledge and when I return I will conquer the world and you will bow before me! I AM MERLIN! *evil laughter*' All of which indicates that I am one step away from pure, mad genius.

You know, even LSB might draw the line at eternal maggi mee.

is sighz

Studying Africa is not easy. It's freaking depressing. I seriously need to rant.

One good thing work has done for me is it's shown me what type of thinking I like. I like creating systems, organising them, working out how each component of the system functions and interacts with other parts of the system. Which is, I guess, why I like theories, because theories are just systems. And I guess that's why I haven't let go of the ES, because it is such a disorganised theory. The individual components aren't linked to each other in any systematic way, and there's no interface, and there're multiple layers in each concept and when people use these concepts they emphasise different layers with different results and so on. It irritates the hell outta me, and I very itchy-fingeredly want to make it into a usable and neat theoretical system. You know, it may seem strange to people who know me, but I really get a kick out of creating an excel file with many components, and all the auto-calculations linking everything to each other, so that all the user has to do is to key in some raw data and tonnes of stats start falling in line.

Just goes to show that a disorganised personal life (and habitat) is no reason to think that a person doesn't like organisation. Actually, the truth is, my room is in such a mess because I haven't thought of a sustainable way (i.e. doesn't require any maintainence) to keep it organised. (I wonder how many people will believe this?)

But Africa... Africa is a totally different matter. It's impossible to view the whole thing as an academic exercise. Studying Africa means reading pages and pages of depressing and scary things - reading about disease and poverty, women and children being abused and raped, people getting killed and killing with almost casual indifference, amputations, mutilations, corruption, torture. And I don't even have the comfort of telling myself it's just fiction, because as much as I get pissed off when all people do is write about Africa's problems, I can't deny that Africa's problems get so much attention because the problems are DAMN HUGE. Just being reminded of man's seemingly limitless capacity for violence and suffering is enough to make me feel sick. Really, try it yourself. Every few minutes I have to stop reading and take a breather, to remind myself that where I live, things are not like that. It's a relief looking up from my books to take in the contented, prosperous commercialism of your average Singaporean mall. It's a relief to go back to the theories and go back to what I'm most comfortable with - a detached, disinterested intellectual exercise.

So anyway, reading about Africa is how I spent $150 on clothes and shoes. And I'm seriously concerned not just about my finances, but my mental health as well. After hours of reading about human rights abuses, walking past a mannequin with a detached arm lying on the floor, all I could think of was guess what, they do that to real people as well. It is sick, really sick, and it's really happening, maybe right now. That's not a particularly easy thing to realise. Lots of people know, but I doubt many fully register this. I suspect that to many people, all the terrible things they hear on the news is like fiction, something that happens far away and is not quite real. Everytime I read the news I get depressed. I've developed a habit of shaking my head sadly everytime I read news on Africa (because hey, when is news from Africa ever good?). I don't understand how so many people can be immune to the news. Doesn't anyone feel horrified? Day after day of bad news from everywhere, of people dying and suffering? The news is like a daily body count, you know, which is why I hate the news. Is it just me? Why doesn't anyone feel horrified that our world is such a grotesque, painful, frightening place? Why doesn't anyone feel scared that it could so easily have been them as well? All it takes is for you to be born in the wrong place.

As for myself, I need a good dose of escapism. Music, for one. Music in itself is refreshingly free from such horrid thoughts. Classical music is nothing except itself. It's pure, free from the ickiness and grossness of reality. Retail therapy was my antidote for the day, as well as a thankfully brainless manga. Retail therapy to surround myself with pretty things, manga to immerse myself in a world that doesn't make me feel like puking. LSB to make me feel safe and to remind me of the good things, like love and all that jazz.

I'm in trouble because when I'm too emotional about something, I find it very very difficult to study it properly (the silent screaming in my head makes it difficult to think at all). And you know, that's why I don't like studying history. I don't like reading so many sad and depressing 'stories'. They get me too involved, and then it's virtually impossible to find any sense of perspective after that.

Argh I need to reintroduce a sense of normalcy to me, else my over-active imagination will guarantee me violent nightmares of killing and being killed. I must be the only joker around who gets scared after reading academic books. (T_T) Maybe I should have studied the EU instead. Then all I need to worry about is nightmares of being drowned in regulations.

Sometimes international relations can be fun (for those looking in)

So I love the BBC. Article on Bermuda accepting Muslim Uighurs from Guantanamo without consulting London.

Highlights:

"London is also concerned about the effect on China, which has demanded the return of these Uighurs, whom it regards as dangerous "separatists" for supporting a Muslim state of East Turkestan in western China.

British diplomats in Beijing face quite a delicate mission in trying to explain what has happened.

On the one hand they want to push the blame onto those pesky Bermudians (one can imagine the Chinese hurrying discreetly for an atlas; perhaps the Brits helpfully brought one).

On the other hand, it is a considerable loss of face for the British ambassador to have to admit that the Bermudian mouse has nibbled the tail of the old British lion.

Maybe the Chinese will see it as a plot and a way for the treacherous British to blame someone else. In that way, honour, and face, might be saved."

Entirely possible, that atlas thing.

"Meanwhile, the Uighurs are, in the splendid understatement of their lawyer, "trying to get a sense of where they are".

Where they are is in the middle of the Atlantic, a bit over to the left-hand side."

You should see the map the BBC put up to show where Bermuda is - a little white dot in a vast expanse of blue ocean.

3 wolves

I love the BBC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Juz sayin'.

Perfume Stocktaking! (long, wordy post)

So I'm doing some stocktaking of music & perfumes. I hear from more experienced perfumistas that it's good to do a stocktake of your perfumes at some point to:
1. Find out if your collection has expanded to the point of gargantuity;
2. Find out what you like & what you don't;
3. Find out if you've gradually come to like stuff that you didn't before;
4. For fun.

So I'm conducting a sniff-a-thon of all my perfumes, and I've listed my impressions below. I actually lined them up in a certain order - based on my associations (olfactory or sentimental or otherwise) - to sniff. You'll find that perfumes are like a mood, or emotion, or landscape, or even a story to me, sort of like a piece of music, or a book. Here's to an indulgent examination of my olfactory preferences & associations, & here goes nothing!

I have 6 categories of scent:
A. Comfort/Nostalgia/Girly Scents
B. Comfort/Gourmand Scents
C. City Scents
D. Country Scents
E. For the Rich & Glam
F. The Hard to Swallow

A. Comfort/Nostalgia/Girly Scents
1. Sarah Jessica Parker Lovely (100ml) - This was the one that started it all, the result of my 1st search for a 'signature scent' that led to a lot of perfume-related research. It has a slightly herbaceous scent that I like, but is still sweet and mild enough to be fairly conventional, so this is a comfort scent for me. I like wearing this scent with my light blue sweater (the one I bought when I was 13, so most of my friends should know this sweater). They just fit together. Lovely also doubles up as a pillow spray because of the comfort factor. I'm not sure I would buy this perfume now, but not a bad 1st methinks.

(Ok wait, actually my 1st buy was Anna Sui Dolly Girl, but it gave me such a headache because of the saccharine factor, I gave it to my sis.)

2. Lanvin Rumeur (sample) - When I bought SJP Lovely, my alternative was Rumeur. Rumeur doesn't have the herbaceous undertone, and is a flirty, feminine, pretty perfume. I think 'Rumeur' is a bad name for the perfume though, because the scent is too pleasant.

3. Hermes Kelly Caleche (miniature 15ml) - Like Rumeur, Kelly Caleche is a 'pretty & girly' scent. However, Kelly Caleche has a teeny bit of 'soft leather', so it's a bit more sophisticated than Rumeur (sort of like a young gentile woman in her chic town clothes instead of her summer dress).

4. Bvlgari au The Vert (miniature) - Ah another comfort perfume. This is basically green tea & mint, and I really like this scent. It's easy to wear, a crowd-pleaser, but more importantly, it's a nostalgic perfume that reminds me of my JC days. I don't really know why - maybe I used a green tea shampoo back then? Or maybe the colours I associate with the perfume (green & white) are also associated with my JC?

5. Body Shop Magnolia (50ml) - Actually, before SJP Lovely, I had a few bottles of scent (usu bought by Mum), but the only one that is still left in my cupboard is Magnolia. It's a simple, unassuming, comforting floral scent, slightly uninteresting for my taste now. Also serves as a good (& cheap!) pillow spray.

B. Comfort/Gourmand Scents
6. L'Occitane Miel & Citron (shimmering version- 100ml) - This is also a comfort scent, though a very different type. Sometimes (esp in stuffy environments), the smell can be overpowering (the honey!). However, I like to wear this to sleep, because when I crawl out from under my comforter in the morning, the warm scent of skin mixed with this perfume is delirious (and makes you want to go back to sleep). Don't like the shimmer though.

7. Diesel Fuel for Life (miniature) - On the same foody/gourmand theme. Fuel for Life is like a brutal candy attack on your nose - cloying & overpowering, it is like a childish caricature of a gourmand perfume.

C. City Scents
8. Bvlgari Black (75ml) - One of my favourites. To me this perfume is all about the city, the smell of rain with exhaust smoke & cars with a dash of vanilla, like walking past a traffic jam at orchard road on a rainy day, knowing that soon you'll be popping into a mall, out of the rain, for warm drinks, dessert & some retail therapy. It is also one of those smells that lingers on your jacket and smells so good that way (it's the mixing with skin scent thing again!)

9. Lalique Encre Noire (miniature) - Like Bvlgari Black, this is also a 'city' perfume. However, while Black is edgy & warmn, Encre Noire is edgy, cold & remote. Definitely not a perfume that lifts your spirits. On my skin, it smells as if I've been smoking 10packs/day, & there's also an earthy/woody & sourish sweetness to it. This should be a perfume worn with a perfectly tailored suit, & plenty of aristocratic aloofness. Can you tell that I love this scent? My only problem is it doesn't stay very long on my skin.

(A note on Lalique - I found to my surprise that my mum has an old collection of Lalique miniatures, & based on a sniff-test, their perfumes are plenty good. Worth looking into.)

10. BLV Notte pour femme (miniature) - Another city perfume, though BLV Notte is like a 'pop' version to the 'alternative' Bvlgari Black & Encre Noire; while Black & Encre Noire evoke 2 different melancholic & urban atmospheres, BLV Notte just reminds me of clubbing. What does it smell like? Chocolate & vodka. I turn to Notte when I don't want to think too much, but it's not a favourite.

11. Prada Infusion d'Iris (pour femme) (miniature) - A perfume the diametric opposite of Notte, this is the classic office scent. It's both sophisticated & contemporary, and all crisp white blouses & pearl earrings. It's a cool floral scent that does not assail your nostrils. That said, it's not a flirty perfume. It is something I would wear if I have a management meeting, & need to appear feminine but in control & professional. Very easy to wear & easy to love.

D. Country Scents
12. Hermes Un Jardin en Mediteranee (miniature 15ml) - Ok, now we're moving from the city to lovely rural landscapes. They say En Mediteranee is a fig & cedar perfume, but I don't know what fig & cedar smell like, so there. For me, En Mediteranee is a cottage somewhere in the poorer rural Naples on a slow, warm afternoon. The sea is nearby, but not too near; just near enough to get a hear the sea gulls. There's an orange grove in the backyard, and a smouldering woodfire somewhere. There is freshly turned earth in the vegetable-herb garden outside, & an old man smoking a pipe at the front porch. Yep, all that in a bottle!

13. Annick Goutal Mandragore (50ml) - In the same village in Naples, the village wise woman/witch lives in a small cottage. In here, there are many curious and mysterious herbs and spices. We get a faint smell of something is brewing in the open-air kitchen at the back, and for some reason we know it's a medicinal cream, and is not to be eaten. There's some strange stuff here - dried lizards & fungi, big bottles containing strange, deformed shapes - but the house is very clean. The tables are meticulously wiped, the floors are swept, and the place is cluttered but neat, and there are bowls of dried flowers & fruit peel all over. Mandragore is a dark-ish, interesting scent (hey the thing is supposed to contain mandrake!), which remains clean, beautiful & non-threatening. Again, only problem is lasting power.

14. Hermes Terre d'Hermes (miniature) - If En Mediteranee brings to mind a poor village, Terre d'Hermes is a sun-scorched beach on a small island off the coast of Italy, owned by a billionaire. It's an almost unbearably hot, breezy day, so the beach is deserted. The waves lap against the huge boulders on the beach, and the sun evaporates the salt water almost immediately. Not too far away, where the sea is shimmering in the sun, there's a white yacht belonging to said billionaire. Terre d'Hermes has to be one of my favouritest perfumes. I wear this especially when I'm feeling down, or know that I'm going to be stuck in a cold place for a long time, because it is a warm, relaxing scent that reminds me of deserted, sunny beaches (but without coconuts!) & luxurious, long vacations.

15. Acqua di Parma Colonia Assoluta (miniature) - Let's now move to the more populated rural townships in the Mediterranean, to the effervescent, crowded rural town on market day. The morning starts bright & sunny with lemons & peppers traded at the market. After all the excitement of the morning though, it's home to put the fresh flowers from the market in the vase. Colonia Assoluta is another warm scent that is citrusy without being too 'detergent-like', if you know what I mean. I haven't really worn this scent much because I bought it recently, but I like it quite a bit.

E. For the Rich & Glam
16. Sisley Eau du Soir (miniature) - This is one of those classic floral scents that people might find 'old'. However, it's actually a lovely floral bouquet. A bit high-pitched, but very well-rounded, with a glamorous, sensual softness at its heart. Defnitely not something you'd wear to the neighbourhood mall. For me this is a black tie perfume, when you expect to be in a long gown, sipping champagne (no red wine!) & hobnobbing with the upper classes.

17. Hermes 24 Faubourg (miniature) - The 1st time I got a scent strip of 24 Faubourg, I stuffed it into my leather wallet, and omg it smelled so right. 24 Faubourg smells like money, a designer leather wallet full of money. Unlike Eau du Soir, you don't need an occasion to wear 24 Faubourg; you just need to look rich. I love this scent but seldom wear it, largely because me, rich???

18. Guerlain Shalimar (miniature) - Shalimar is a bit hard for me, since I've got the EDT, and I've heard the parfum is much better. Shalimar is a vanilla-ish perfume, with some citrusy (bergamot?) thing going on. This is the exotic one in this 'rich & glam' lot, like the European girl who marries a sheikh and lives in a huge airy Middle Eastern mansion with spicy incense burning all day. And it's turbulent times, with a civil war raging, & there's a whole lot of can-she-adapt-to-the-culture-&-sacrifice-all-for-love shenanigans going on. I like the EDT well enough, but I really wish I had the parfum instead.

F. The Hard to Swallow
19. Estee Lauder Youth Dew Amber Nude (30ml) - I bought this perfume unsniffed, cos I heard good things about it. The greatest thing it did for me was to demonstrate that I Do Not Like Amber In Perfumes, Amber Makes My Throat Itch Dammit. As for the juice, it's sweet in a slightly medicinal way (I don't like to smell it too often). Anyone wants this perfume?

20. Guerlain Vol de Nuit (parfum 8ml) - Ah this is the vintage/retro one. Sweet & slightly powdery, prone to accusations of 'old lady-ness'. My problem with this one is that the AMBER jumps out at me. I like this one better than YDAN, largely because there's not SO MUCH amber, but I like it only in the bottle & not on my skin.

21. Agent Provocateur (100ml) - Ok this is the sexpot flowerbomb perfume. I regret getting the 100ml bottle because seriously, I'll never finish using this if I dare only to spray a teeny little bit each time. It's like you accidentally barged into the boudoir of a... well, prostitute, and there's lots of rose-scented cosmetics, but also lots of skank. I like it in principle because every girl needs a sexpot scent like this, but. Use with caution.

I still have plenty of perfume samples, & some perfumes that I gave to my parents that are *not* strictly mine, but hey, I've already spent the whole afternoon on this. Plenty of fun though.

The Inter-webs

I'm on my 2nd consecutive day of MC (and the 3rd day of MC this week). What can I say... I don't deal well with coughs. Anyway, it's been a tough couple of weeks, so I'm taking this very very much treasured opportunity (when was the last time I had more than a one-day leave? And when was the last time my leave wasn't for unofficial but Very Serious and Important business & errands? Last June?) to take a breather and feel like myself again.

So that basically means music & Internet. Internet means news and Cute Overload. The big problem I have with the news is that it's so often bad. Evidence of resistance to anti-malaria drugs, suicides, murders... what else, oh, possibility of nuclear war (almost slipped my mind). Cute Overload balances it all out, with wunnerful pictures of cute furry (and sometimes not so furry) animals (like this!). Sometimes the comments on CO are also incredibly cute (though the cutest comments are usually the ones not intended to be cute):

I’m Suzannah H’s dad–she sent me a link to the posting. I can verify that she has always loved animals since she was a child (eons and eons ago), particularly little cute ones like Coco.

But I had no idea there was as much interest among the general public! It took me 30 minutes just to read all the comments, so how long did it take to write them all??? I mean, don’t you folks have JOBS and all???

and

When I got married we went camping and were entertained for days by the momma raccoons. Playing duelling Banjos with the stretchy cords that we used to close the coolers. Although one friend was sitting on top of the car when we got back from getting ice and firewood the first night. He did not remember that the raccoons are smarter than the average city boy and would look cute for potato chips to be tossed, while getting thier friend to steal said bag from right next to him. It scared him badly. Don’t even get me started on the squirrel incident.

Ah it's all about the balance, the Yin and the Yang, the fulcrum and the er... ok let's leave it at that.

Oh and I almost left out the big perfume news (even though approximately 0.002 people in the world apart from myself pay any attention to this segment of NoctisEqui news). I bought Guerlain Vetiver! Finally! After waiting for so long. But *ahem* it's for my dad. It is the most wonderful scent! I bought the biggest bottle available. *twiddles fingers* I should also mention that I bought my 1st Annick Goutal. On the same day. Price? *waves airily* Let's not talk about such crass things and focus on the beautiful and strange smell that is Mandragore! Who needs to eat anyway, huh?

Though I also have to mention that you can forget about niche perfumes being cool and whatnot in Singapore as it seems to be the territory of aunties. Not even your elegant somewhat foreignly-accented taitais. No, real honest to goodness aunties. The salesperson was like, 'Oh you know about these lines ar, then you must know perfume la. Got Sage Lutahns (Serge Lutens) and Ah-nick Gootal (Annick Goutal), very good one." Then she sprayed perfume liberally on my arm, raised my arm to her nose, and SNIFFED, and she was like, 'Ahhhh. So nice. You smell?' (no kidding!) And it seemed that every other customer and salesperson in that area was exactly like that. One customer was like, 'Long time never buy already, so come and see got what new perfume, then in the end buy so many bottles ah.'

Looks like my first initiation into auntiehood is complete.

Quote of the month

Quote of the month (and possibly of the year) comes from an MP telling a bunch of new citizens:

If you miss your original home, your kampong or your village, we have tours to places like fish farms.

Don't you just love it when some woman whose arrival was announced by trumpets (recorded) has no f-ing clue what she's saying?

A thousand reasons to stay

I made the most difficult decision of my entire life, and I just burned my bridges today. No turning back now. The past month has probably been the most difficult month of my life, and the next few months will be worse. I hope the next few years will be ok, but I'm not sure at all. Probably not. I've thrown everything I love into the air, gambled carelessly with everything I hold dear, let a whole lot of people down, all for a vague, uncertain, distant hope.

Only one reason to leave.

If there's any deity out there with any sort of powers at all, now is the time to give me strength. Would also appreciate any other supernatural assistance. Any miracle will do.

Black Ink

I have found a new holy grail perfume! And in very unexpected quarters (to me), what is more, thus destroying my moratorium on perfume procurement! Lalique's Encre Noir pour homme is super cool, ascetic, urban-synthetic, dark and slightly smoky (though perhaps maybe mayhaps not smoky enough....) and very 'moody French intellectual'. I also think that it's the perfect guy perfume!

So here's the thing. I'm longing to sniff it on LSB, but at the same time, I want to wear it myself. :( What do you guys think of matching girlfriend-boyfriend perfumes? I know those couples who go out wearing the same t-shirt are eye-rolls inducing, but perfume is a lot more subtle, no? And a lot sexier too... ;) Hmmm I'm meeting LSB later, so maybe I'll ambush him with the perfume hehehe... (I know he's out now, so he won't read this till too late! I'm a genius!)

Argh speaking of which. I have to run. Like, now.

The Literature Available to Me

A sample of titles on Africa available at Borders:

The Rebel's Hour

Where Soldiers Fear to Tread

Memoirs of a Boy Soldier

They Poured Fire on Us from the Sky

Escape from Slavery

Black Skin, White Marks

We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We'll be Killed with our Families

Africa: Altered States, Ordinary Miracles

Unbowed

Come on now. I don't know why everyone says Borders is good for acad books. It actually sucks for international relations (& apparently Africa too). Not that Kino is any better for Africa, but at least it has more academic IR books.

Also, I'm feeling nervous about Aber, and wondering why online guides on Aber seem to list more pubs than restaurants.

The Onion - Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

Living on the wild side

In my house, it is not unusual to see my entire family going about their daily tasks (usually comprising of watching tv and waiting for their tv show to start), with an unusual object perched on their heads. For some, it would be a towel or blanket wrapped tightly around the head, for others with a little more je ne sais quoi, it would probably be a cushion tipped at a jaunty/coquettish 45 degree angle. It all depends on the individual's intuitive grasp and interpretation of the latest haute couture trends. There are of course, some who go bare-headed, but this is a minority (according to a recent survey, approx 33.3333% of the population).

This intriguing local custom, as fashionable and avant-garde as it may seem, is actually a practice necessitated by the harsh living conditions in this small community. You see, this community lives on the wild side. What this means is that on every other night, the presence of a flying alien organism (FAO) will trigger either a Bug, Stinky Beetle, Moth or Cockroach alert. Upon receiving this alert, the majority of the community will immediately take steps to prevent the landing of any FAOs on their carefully conditioned follicles.

The danger from these FAOs is real. A Bug will often attach itself to the above-mentioned follicles, and will be incredibly difficult to extract. A Stinky Beetle situation is doubly serious, with attempts to extract the SB leaving an almost-permanent Stink in the victim's hair that will require many shampooed washes to be removed. The memory of the Stink, of course, will haunt the victim for many years to come. A Moth might fly into the ceiling fan, to be shredded into many quivering pieces, which might land on a carelessly uncovered head. These pieces might go undetected by the victim for many hours. Finally, Cockroaches have been known to deliberately launch themselves towards the members of this community.

[At first I wrote a bit attributing certain tactics/characteristics of terrorists to cockroaches, but then I uncharacteristically deleted it cos I felt it was insensitive and incendiary, and despite those few lines being really really witty and clever, I really shouldn't say such things on a public forum..... oops.]

[Hmmm where was I? Now I've totally lost momentum on the Bug thingy. Argh crap never mind.]

An outsider will find it difficult to understand the paradoxical nature of this community - at once living in fear of these nightly dangers, yet strangely at ease with the imminent threat and the inevitable casualties. This lack of understanding has led to an exoticisation of the local community, with comments like 'You live in jungle ar' being especially prevalent among a member's colleagues whenever stories of the local wildlife are related in the office. An especially traumatic incident was during an office lunch, when the boss of this member of the community was present. This member of the community was merely trying to impress upon her colleagues the threatening nature of the monkeys found in the vicinity of her home by emphasising to them the incredibly large size of their (the monkeys') muscles. Even this innocent remark led to a jibe by a colleague that 'The monkeys go gym and try to impress you la!' This then led to much derisive laughter, and the above-mentioned boss making mock arm flexing actions. In addition to the dignity of the occasion being utterly destroyed, this jibe was not forgotten even days after the incident, with colleagues occasionally referring to the jibe with comments like 'You ask your monkey friends help you hantam [those people you don't like] lor.' Needless to say, the emotional trauma to this member of the community has led her to swear never to talk about monkeys' muscles again.

In the blanks between life, we have quizzes

Let's just say I'm currently waiting and have nothing better to do, shall we?

What is Your Current Obsession?

Dying to shop, especially since I finally found out that my Capitaland card, which I got when I stepped into DBS and told them I wanted a card, and they gave me a form which I then blindly filled in (having ascertained that I didn't actually have to pay anything)gives me rebates at Dorothy Perkins & Topshop... *takes deep breath after long sentence* but trying to combat deadly retail addiction because I might soon have to get used to not having enough money for breakfast.

So yeah, I guess that means my current obsession is trying not to spend. I even stopped myself from getting a pedicure today and will soon have to cut my toenails myself. Can you imagine the horrific destitution in which I find myself?

What Do You See Outside Your Window?

Erm do you mean my bedroom window or my office win... oh wait, I forgot my office has no windows. So, I guess the slope outside my house with lots of fruit trees and bats. Oh, and the condominium they built on top of that slope as well. Damn developers.

Do You Nap A lot?

Not these days. I prefer not to be fired.

Who was the Last Person You Hugged?

Is this a trick question? *suspicious* Because you should know that the only person I hug as a matter of course is LSB.

What Animal Would You Be?

If the questioner were right in front of me I would give him/her/it a slap. But if the question is meant to be what animal I would like to be, I'd apologise to the questioner and say something inane. Like, bird. Or maybe dog. Wait, make that cat. As long as I'm not a stray cat. Or an endangered one. You know.

What's for Dinner?

Mother's warm, home-cooked poison. I jest. Actually it was rice and some concoction comprising bittergourd & unknown meat & fish. Very nutritious.

What was the Last Thing You Bought?

I would like to say Western Digiter EHD, just so I can rant about how it's taking forever to format and say 'I hate technology!', but actually, a bottle of chrysanthemum tea.

What are You Listening to Right Now?

Raindrops? The fan? Sound of silence?

What is Your Favorite Weather?

Not too chilly, not too warm. Slight breeze, a teeny weeny amount of raindrops acceptable as long as umbrella not required. Ground preferably not wet. Don't like cold & wet toes.

What's on Your Bedside Table?

Tinkerbell. I don't have a bedside table.

If You Could Have a House Totally Paid for, Full Furnished, and Anywhere in the World Where Would You Want It to Be?

Where's the most expensive land in the world? Monaco? I don't know... Somewhere I could sell the home for tonnes of money and live like a king(queen) somewhere else.

Where are You Typing from Right Now?

My living room. More specifically, on the sofa bed my sis has colonised, and from which I shall be undoubtedly deported in a few minutes.

A Book You are Currently Reading?

The International Thought of Martin Wight. Yeah, I know. Does it help that I've been stuck on Chapter 3 for about a month?

What Would You Like to Have in Your Hands Right Now?

Gold. Wait, no, diamonds. Or a huge cheque. Maybe a fan letter from Barack Obama, No. 1 fan of my blog. Hmmm I'm fickle.

What Would You Like to Get Rid of?

Mess in my bedroom. I have been trying to get rid of it for the last few weeks, and this is really Clutter's Last Stand (haha get it? Custer's last stand?), but it's such a damn pain.

If You Could Go Anywhere in the World for the Next Hour Where Would You Go?

I need to get to a certain town in Wales to see what I'm getting myself into.

What Did You Want to Be When You Grew Up as a Child?

Author. I should mention this, when my pri 6 teacher (the bitch) asked me during class what I wanted to be, I said I wanted to be an author, and she thought I said 'doctor', so her face lit up and she went on and on about how it's such a noble profession etc. And when I disabused her of the notion that I was ever going to wield a needle with any frequency (not that most doctors do, I would imagine. And no, I would never have been a seamstress anyway), her face just fell. Bitch.


What Posters/Pictures Do You Have on Your Bedroom Wall?

None. I used to have a map of the world (earth) & some astronomy chart. Does that count?

What is Your Plan for Tomorrow?

Amazingly enough, I actually have something of significance planned for tomorrow. (way to go, me!) I will be heading down to a Government Office to register my brand new citizenship! Yay! LSB shall never be able to make fun of me, the foreigner, again! And I have my Singlish down pat too! After which I shall try (and fail) to convince myself to go back to work. Instead, I shall spend a relatively pleasant afternoon shopping and spending all the money I saved today.

What Should Everyone Have?

A blog where they can totally do quizzes while they're waiting for their EHD to format.