Childhood dreams

Just a quick note first - has anyone noticed how damn popular Obama is? (ok so I'm late on the scene) We're like, Obama swatted a fly! Obama's teleprompter smashed! Obama chose a dog! Someone do an Obama trivia quiz already. Oh wait.

But the fly-swatting thing is really cool.

Anyways.

I had 2 childhood dreams. The first was to become an astronaut and fly (sail?) into the far reaches of outer space, going where no man has gone before (!!!!), then when I run out of food & water & oxygen, I would slowly waste away and turn into a dessicated skeleton travelling forever in a spaceship. This was my 'happy thoughts' fantasy, something I used to imagine when I was feeling happy and optimistic. (yep) (though it's kind of romantic, no?)

But whenever I was angry or angsty I'd dream of living all my life alone, locked up in an old tower filled with books, and I'd read all those books and be the wisest person in the world. And of course there would be waves crashing outside and I would read by candlelight (the tower is on an isolated coast). Less obviously, I would survive on a diet of maggi mee (since I didn't foresee having a fully equipped kitchen or much choice wrt groceries).

(I'm the kid who throws a tantrum and screams 'I'll lock myself up in a library forever! And I will READ! Do NOT make me go there! I might even die a slow death in a cluster of stars previously unknown to man, and you will regret!" Ah which parents would not cower before such threats?)

But it just shows you should be careful what you wish for, because my bookworm-hermit dream looks like it's about to come true. (Isolated beach? check. (Ivory) tower? check. Lots of books & reading? check. Diet of maggi mee? oh god.)

So I'm of two minds about this. On one hand the voice in my head is reduced to some gibberish repetition of 'my life is over my life is over I will die there what have I done?' On the other hand, the other voice in my head is like, 'I will retreat into my tower and acquire great knowledge and when I return I will conquer the world and you will bow before me! I AM MERLIN! *evil laughter*' All of which indicates that I am one step away from pure, mad genius.

You know, even LSB might draw the line at eternal maggi mee.