On football

Most of you will know that I'm not much of an underdog person. I always think the underdog has less to lose, you know?

Anyway, what I wanted to talk about is goalkeepers. I've always thought goalkeepers are really tragic. If the opposition scores a goal, they can't escape blame; if their own side scores a goal, they seldom have any part in it. There's something very tragic and heroic in the way they launch themselves in the way of incoming balls. It's almost as if they are the willing sacrificial lambs of the game. I would totally run away because I'd be afraid of getting hit by the balls. I'd make a lousy goalkeeper because I'd rather concede a goal than get hit by the ball. In truth, I'd make a lousy footballer because I'm afraid of balls that fly too fast and hard. Unless somebody invented slow-motion football.

I've discovered that I don't like things that fly, especially insects. I'm much more comfortable with insects that crawl, as long as they don't crawl very fast. Or maybe I just don't like things that move fast.