Darling LSB is going off to exotic foreign lands on some probably malevolent mission, undoubtedly history-related. I have decided to pine away into nothing while he troops around my homeland. If you want to know where exactly he is, just follow the cold, cold trail of lame jokes.
I've also had a really controversial haircut. Many eyebrows have been raised, and raised again. (It's like having multiple exclamation points instead of just one!!!!!) My mum has been heard attempting to say 'It's nice, really, it's nice' in between muffled sniggers. My dad has allegedly cried out in despair, 'Why you go and cut china doll hairstyle?' My siblings have unanimously concluded that I'm having a quarter-life mid-life crisis. This apparently means that I'm 40 years old trying to look 14, despite the reality (note: not the same as truth) that I'm 25. LSB has (ah, break my heart) decided to refer to me henceforth as 'xiao mei mei' despite my very obvious exuding of adult sexiness. He has also become strangely resistant to my charms, alas. You see the number of deluded half-blind people in my life? The tearful reproach that I've encountered in all quarters resembles nothing so much as that usually reserved for recalcitrant young ladies with one in the oven and no baker identified as responsible. (I've been reading LSB's book of euphemisms, and have elevated the use of euphemisms to an art.)
I long for dark chocolate with the whole of my reprobate soul. (T_T)
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