Sobering thought

I think I'll need to start writing more, not just assignments, but in general. I'm starting to find that writing doesn't come as easily to me as it once did. This is partly because I'm writing denser (& hopefully more sophisticated) arguments, partly because the stakes are higher and I'm therefore more cautious about what I write. But it's also because I don't write as much anymore, on my blog or for assignments. Yes, I write much longer papers now, but I don't write as MANY papers. I need to get into the habit of writing stuff / nonsense again.

I remember you as you were, Pablo Neruda

I remember you as you were in the last autumn.
You were the grey beret and the still heart.
In your eyes the flames of the twilight fought on.
And the leaves fell in the water of your soul.

Clasping my arms like a climbing plant
the leaves garnered your voice, that was slow and at peace.
Bonfire of awe in which my thirst was burning.
Sweet blue hyacinth twisted over my soul.

I feel your eyes traveling, and the autumn is far off:
Grey beret, voice of a bird, heart like a house
Towards which my deep longings migrated
And my kisses fell, happy as embers.

Sky from a ship. Field from the hills:
Your memory is made of light, of smoke, of a still pond!
Beyond your eyes, farther on, the evenings were blazing.
Dry autumn leaves revolved in your soul.

Pablo Neruda

Lost in the Forest, Pablo Neruda

Lost in the forest, I broke off a dark twig
and lifted its whisper to my thirsty lips:
maybe it was the voice of the rain crying,
a cracked bell, or a torn heart.

Something from far off it seemed
deep and secret to me, hidden by the earth,
a shout muffled by huge autumns,
by the moist half-open darkness of the leaves.

Wakening from the dreaming forest there, the hazel-sprig
sang under my tongue, its drifting fragrance
climbed up through my conscious mind

as if suddenly the roots I had left behind
cried out to me, the land I had lost with my childhood---
and I stopped, wounded by the wandering scent.

Pablo Neruda

Stravinsky, Petrushka

I was wondering whether Petrushka's good to have swirling around in your head while you're trying to write a bigass paper, but then I realised that I was just getting distracted from work by the thought of the music possibly distracting me from work.

11,000 words to go!

The Last Stand

What does one do when there's only 1 cookie left? Do you wait until the urge to eat it become unbearable, or do you eat it immediately so you can get cookies off your mind?

working late again

Who gets cravings for olives at 6am after staying up all (read: most of the) night?

Don't see the sorrow

Psychostick

I've been laughing my head off listening to this band my friend introduced to me.




And of course...

Working at 430am

I'm sitting at my table with a purple checkered fleece blanket wrapped around me, held fast by a glittery brooch. I'm also wearing a hairband, and am wearing argyle socks. Oh and my fingerless hobo gloves.

Cold weather makes me feel so grandmotherly. In a sort of eccentric, homeless but still somehow blingy way.

Though to tell the truth, the fleece blanket feels incredibly soft and is an wonderfully soft and pretty colour (it might be checkered, but not in a Scottish tartan way. Even though I bought it from Edinburgh Woolen Mill).

ARGH I'm so grandmotherly! Luckily I'm working late at night, so I can wander around without scaring my housemates half to death.

Incidentally (in case I haven't traumatised you enough), I came back from buying groceries today to find a gigantic half-dead earthworm smeared on my boots. It must have been more than 15cm long!

Student poverty

I just mended 2 holes in my cardigan, using sewing kits stolen from a hotel a couple of years ago.

My boots are all patched up with bits of leather, and muddy.

My coat (ok, ONE of my coats) is thrifted.

Bits of my laptop are dropping off. By the end of this year, there will only be 50% of my laptop left. The rest would have been shed like yesterday's cocoon, and a new, lighter, butterfly-laptop would have emerged. Undoubtedly at that point my laptop ver.1.1 will also have the lifespan of a butterfly. (To be specific, the lifespan of a butterfly navigating through a forest fire with little pebbles tied to each of its feet and its wings covered with petroleum. And nursing a broken heart. And failing kidneys. And no health insurance.)

This reminds me of an earlier period of student poverty, when I was mending my underwear by candle(actually, torch)light, though admittedly that was because there was a blackout in my house. Does not change fact that I was mending my own underwear because I had no money to buy new ones.

A Rainy day in Aber

It's dark and raining outside, but I'm currently sitting in what must be the coziest cafe in Aber, with the best ever cafe food... There's a couch and cushions and wireless, and I just ordered a chocolate shake!

Also, there was a little blonde girl in a pink coat with her grandma who kept smiling and waving at every single person in the cafe, hoping they would smile and wave back. I just died of cuteness...

Pyramid apartment, Seattle + Cool video

This is absolutely the coolest-ever apartment I know.

Also, extremely cool stuff (trust me):

More Music - Terra Naomi

More and more and more and more music!

The trouble with waking up at midnight and not being able to go back to sleep... I end up looking for music and getting obsessed about music and getting frustrated that I have to be passive in the musical process because I can't reproduce the music or create more music or share the music with anyone in the middle of the night except through a very non-interactive blog.

Apart from Lana Del Rey (aka psychotic songstress to some of you), I've also been listening to Kathleen Battle.



Battle also sang one of the tunes in the soundtrack of House of the Flying Daggers:



I watched that movie recently, and to be honest, wasn't a great fan. Martial arts-deception-romance-tragedy movies have been done, and done better. And while I love the song, it's somehow disconcerting to have an English song in a Chinese period movie.

Slightly obsessed

(T_T)

I pulled an all-nighter! I feel young again (thanks to 2 cans of Red Bull)!

I also feel vaguely depressed, having submitted yet another crappy piece of work.

Sad post

The soul wants what it wants, until it does not.

Not that my relationship has ended, far from it I hope. But I can relate to the strange sparseness when life changes and people are far away. Do I still remember how to be a girlfriend? I try, I try very hard indeed. But how was it like before? What was life like before blurry videos on Skype and offline messages on MSN? I'm not sure anymore.

From half a world away

It's a strange feeling trying to listen to the boyfriend's interview via online radio from half a world away. It doesn't help that my internet connection just happens to be shit today, or that I'm dead tired, or that I'm super stressed out. It's sort of depressing actually. :(

Buffering... buffering... buffering...

LDRs suck big-time.

Deranged but wonderful & cute song

I live in a pretty town

Today was the first time since coming back that I had a good walk around town. I keep forgetting how pretty Aber is! It's such a pretty little town, and the seaside is gorgeous.

It's a bit cloudy & cold & windy today, so I was sitting by the window in a cosy little cafe with a hot mug of tea, watching people/scenery, listening to music, and erm... doing work. I'm so glad Aber is so pretty!

(I hate the pigeons here though. They're practically mini-vultures, what with the ravenous eyeing of my food and all. It's tea, you bird brains! You don't drink tea do you? ... or do you...?)