(now she's feeling lost)
I straightened my hair (permanently, at least till the hair grows out), and now I feel I've lost all personality. Yes people, the personality was in the hair. Now it's all gone.
(now she's feeling happy)
My supervisor told me 'Good work!' (after which he gave me a whole list of suggestions, but never mind.) Yay! *does happy dance*
*reminds self* Ok now, you've got to stop living for the approval of others! *mutters to self neurotically*
(now she's feeling grumpy)
Stupid undergraduates can't hand in an essay on time. ARGH.
(now she's amused)
Found in a student essay: 'You simply do not spank an adult.' Uh-huh. Education still incomplete.
I need to mark essays!
(flounces off)
Friday, April 06, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
All You Need to Know About Me
If you really want to know who I am, don't read this blog. Just go ahead and look at this: http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html. It just boggles my mind how accurate this stuff is. If I wore a t-shirt with that url printed on it and walked down the street, people would scream and tell me 'Your Insides Are Showing!'
The drive to understand things that are not yet understood is a very powerful force in the life of an INTP. Where the Ti preference is strong, this drive can override the experiential element so strongly that the INTP will become quickly bored with anything that he has successfully analysed to the point of understanding it. Once understood, it has nothing left to offer, once the satisfaction which comes with achieving the goal of understanding diminishes. Indeed, most primary interests of an INTP are things which he cannot fully understand, usually because they are highly complex or have some exotic, mystical element that does not yield to analysis.
This is SO why I'm not going to do a PhD in International Relations, even though I was totally counting on that, and now I have no idea what to do with my life.
The INTP enjoys speculating about how a news item (for example) might be received by other people or how a point of view might offend certain types of people and be supported by yet other types; but to have a point of view of his own rarely seems relevant!
The drive to understand things that are not yet understood is a very powerful force in the life of an INTP. Where the Ti preference is strong, this drive can override the experiential element so strongly that the INTP will become quickly bored with anything that he has successfully analysed to the point of understanding it. Once understood, it has nothing left to offer, once the satisfaction which comes with achieving the goal of understanding diminishes. Indeed, most primary interests of an INTP are things which he cannot fully understand, usually because they are highly complex or have some exotic, mystical element that does not yield to analysis.
This is SO why I'm not going to do a PhD in International Relations, even though I was totally counting on that, and now I have no idea what to do with my life.
The INTP enjoys speculating about how a news item (for example) might be received by other people or how a point of view might offend certain types of people and be supported by yet other types; but to have a point of view of his own rarely seems relevant!
Totally! I hated it when for a course, I had to take a position on every class reading. WTH spare me.
If an INTP decides to learn a skill, then it is very important for him that he reaches a sufficient level so that basic errors can be avoided. Errors made by others are to be expected and can be criticised. But errors made by oneself attack the very root of the person, which is ultimately about rationality, logic and truth. INTPs hate to think of themselves being in any way inadequate, at least in areas that are important to them. So, as soon as he puts himself behind some task, then he must achieve competency. But that is as far as it goes. Refined competency requires too much effort and has little attraction. It would require practice and that usually bores an INTP.
Oh definitely, so definitely. See http://justareed.blogspot.com/2007/03/violin.html.
To know is everything, to do is a lower order necessity, if it is necessary at all. This breeds the potential for lazy aloofness. The INTP is often satisfied simply by knowing that he could do something if he wished.
Did I say SO me?
If you see someone smirking and laughing at some private thought, without any obvious reason, he's probably an INTP.
Actually, it's probably me. And I'm a she.
The source of the unease is simply the feeling that a planned schedule inhibits and robs the INTP of freedom. It is also a subordination to the plans of others which the independent INTP resists. Faithfully helping others is not a problem, however, but he must feel in control of his decision to subordinate or not.
Which is why I'm DREADING a 9-5 job. Can you imagine going to the same office at the same time for YEARS on end?
The INTP may even argue something that he doesn't really believe himself. Sometimes it is for the intellectual stimulation that comes with the challenge of arguing from a variety of standpoints.
You've no idea how many times I've gotten into trouble because of this. I always shoot my mouth off in class discussions on a point that I don't necessarily believe in, and I always get attacked for that. But it's the balance you know. If everybody agrees on something, then someone has to look at alternatives (no matter how ridiculous) and raise them.
Indeed, INTPs are often glad when someone else takes over the lead, again providing the leader is of the same mind. An INTPs ideal is to provide all the ideas for a project and have a charismatic leader, who agrees with him, carry them out.
Yes yes, and again, yes.
The one thing that will force an INTP to tidy his home radically, even when alone, is when the clutter eventually gets in his way and hinders some activity. Often, however, the offending objects will merely be moved into another corner where they can spend some more weeks being invisible.
Has anyone seen my room recently? And did anyone know that about the only time I clear my room is when I have to write a big paper and All That Mess just pisses the hell out of me because suddenly I can't find my notes, and there's no space left on my table for me to work, and What The Hell I can't get wireless in my room, which has always been the case, but Really Pisses Me Off Now? And hell, it doesn't matter if I only need to clear my table to work, I'll clear the whole damn room so this never (haha) bothers me again! Which is why I tend to be stuck clearing my wardrobe and sweeping my floor when I'm supposed to be rushing a paper.
However, the greatest fears of an INTP are usually ideas generated within his own mind. The problem is that the Ti-Ne axis is capable of conceiving very unpleasant ideas, which may be far from reality and even irrational. Ideas and possibilities assume so much importance in the mind of an INTP that they can override a common sense factual grasp on reality.
Oh yes. Tell me about it.
In other news, within 24 hrs, LSB has called me adorable, cute and capricious. I particularly like the last, and would appreciate if he now addresses me as 'my capricious little one' (CLO). But I don't mind generous sprinkles of 'cute' and 'adorable' either.
..................................................
Edited:
Oh wow, what do you know. Everybody seems to know exactly what kind of person I am. http://www.typelogic.com/intp.html
Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off.
INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to most anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves.
A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition
One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic -- apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context.
In the absence of a clear principle, however, INTPs have been known to defer judgement and to allow decisions about interpersonal matters to be left hanging lest someone be offended or somehow injured.
Just one thing? No Maths. I do wish I was good at it, cos I think it's really cool to be a Maths genius. But no, I'm not good at it.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Eternity
I'm hell-bent on finishing the dissertation by today. Even if it means overlooking the serious flaws and logical fallacies. I just need to get something out. Right now. Even if I don't sleep. Even though I'm also watching endless episodes of Scrubs. But never mind that.
What I don't get is why at this moment, 5am in the morning and nowhere close to finishing the godforsaken dissertation, I'm wondering how the hell anyone's supposed to have eternal life/experience eternity. Cos I won't have lived for an eternity till I've lived until the end of eternity, but if I've lived until the end of eternity, then I wouldn't have lived for an eternity cos eternity has no end. Right? Unless by eternity you mean the absence of time. But my poor mortal brain can't envision living without time (or deadlines, for that matter). I mean, without time, how do you... move? Or do anything? And without time, how can you have eternity? Isn't eternity supposed to be endless time? I'm sure physics has some answer to this, perhaps something to do with curved time-space or black holes or... you know, whatever.
It's like, I don't think any of us knows what true eternity or true nothingness is. I really don't know what infinity looks like. If there's such a thing. And you know, when I think about the universe (on the rare occasion that I do think about the universe), I get a little confused. Things I've figured out: the universe is like, really big. It's got plenty of stuff in it. But then, what's outside the universe? More stuff? But what's beyond that stuff? Or maybe outside the universe there's nothing? But then how can something exist within nothing? Or maybe the universe is all there is? So it's like, never-ending? Or maybe it wraps around itself infinitely (that word again!)? Like a roll of cloth that never ends? Or maybe the concept of space doesn't make sense when talking about the universe? Or perhaps everything is just a nothing that has expanded? So actually, everything is just a very big nothing? Does any of this make sense? I don't know man. It's strange to think that there's something out there so big, something that we don't really know much about (well, I don't know much about). Hell, I shouldn't even be thinking about this.
What I don't get is why at this moment, 5am in the morning and nowhere close to finishing the godforsaken dissertation, I'm wondering how the hell anyone's supposed to have eternal life/experience eternity. Cos I won't have lived for an eternity till I've lived until the end of eternity, but if I've lived until the end of eternity, then I wouldn't have lived for an eternity cos eternity has no end. Right? Unless by eternity you mean the absence of time. But my poor mortal brain can't envision living without time (or deadlines, for that matter). I mean, without time, how do you... move? Or do anything? And without time, how can you have eternity? Isn't eternity supposed to be endless time? I'm sure physics has some answer to this, perhaps something to do with curved time-space or black holes or... you know, whatever.
It's like, I don't think any of us knows what true eternity or true nothingness is. I really don't know what infinity looks like. If there's such a thing. And you know, when I think about the universe (on the rare occasion that I do think about the universe), I get a little confused. Things I've figured out: the universe is like, really big. It's got plenty of stuff in it. But then, what's outside the universe? More stuff? But what's beyond that stuff? Or maybe outside the universe there's nothing? But then how can something exist within nothing? Or maybe the universe is all there is? So it's like, never-ending? Or maybe it wraps around itself infinitely (that word again!)? Like a roll of cloth that never ends? Or maybe the concept of space doesn't make sense when talking about the universe? Or perhaps everything is just a nothing that has expanded? So actually, everything is just a very big nothing? Does any of this make sense? I don't know man. It's strange to think that there's something out there so big, something that we don't really know much about (well, I don't know much about). Hell, I shouldn't even be thinking about this.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Another panicky email to my supervisor
Hi Sir,
I figured I'd better give you an update on the dissertation.
I was hoping to give you the draft by Wednesday, but I'm having some difficulties.
I'm increasingly worried about the word count. The last section on post-Cold War ASEAN is taking up a lot of space. I'm worried about putting in enough details for this section, but I'm also concerned that the sections on the rules & institutions of international society are too superficial. As it is, I think I've exceeded the word count already, but I'm not done writing the last section, and I still haven't expanded the earlier sections.
Also, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile the logic of a minimalist international society (a la Bull) and a discussion of the difficulties faced by ASEAN. I think the main probem is that Bull's international society is both global and minimalist, and is not easily translated to the regional level of analysis or to the study of regional institutions.
If ASEAN collapses this does not mean a collapse of global international society. If ASEAN collapses does this mean an end to Southeast Asian international society? Prior to this we'd made a distinction between the Association and regional international society, but does this not mean that there must be a definition of Southeast Asian international society that is independent of ASEAN? If so, what defines Southeast Asian international society? If ASEAN is merely an expression of regional international society but not constitutive of regional international society, then the decline of ASEAN is not automatically equivalent to the decline of a minimalist Southeast Asian society, even though it might indicate problems with this regional society. But if my focus is on explaining regional international society, then isn't my discussion of ASEAN a bit off the mark?
I don't think it's impossible to use Bull to understand Southeast Asia. But I have a bad feeling that I need much more space to translate Bull's ideas to the regional level. Am I thinking too much into it?
Sorry for another long email! Thanks!
Regards,
Elaine
I figured I'd better give you an update on the dissertation.
I was hoping to give you the draft by Wednesday, but I'm having some difficulties.
I'm increasingly worried about the word count. The last section on post-Cold War ASEAN is taking up a lot of space. I'm worried about putting in enough details for this section, but I'm also concerned that the sections on the rules & institutions of international society are too superficial. As it is, I think I've exceeded the word count already, but I'm not done writing the last section, and I still haven't expanded the earlier sections.
Also, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile the logic of a minimalist international society (a la Bull) and a discussion of the difficulties faced by ASEAN. I think the main probem is that Bull's international society is both global and minimalist, and is not easily translated to the regional level of analysis or to the study of regional institutions.
If ASEAN collapses this does not mean a collapse of global international society. If ASEAN collapses does this mean an end to Southeast Asian international society? Prior to this we'd made a distinction between the Association and regional international society, but does this not mean that there must be a definition of Southeast Asian international society that is independent of ASEAN? If so, what defines Southeast Asian international society? If ASEAN is merely an expression of regional international society but not constitutive of regional international society, then the decline of ASEAN is not automatically equivalent to the decline of a minimalist Southeast Asian society, even though it might indicate problems with this regional society. But if my focus is on explaining regional international society, then isn't my discussion of ASEAN a bit off the mark?
I don't think it's impossible to use Bull to understand Southeast Asia. But I have a bad feeling that I need much more space to translate Bull's ideas to the regional level. Am I thinking too much into it?
Sorry for another long email! Thanks!
Regards,
Elaine
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Rainy nights
I can't play my Corrinne Bailey Rae on my MP3. Stupid content-protected CDs.
But this was on my MP3 tonight:
Rainy Night in Georgia
Brook Benton
Hoverin' by my suitcase,
Tryin' to find a warm place to spend the night
Heavy rain fallin', seems I hear your voice callin'
"It's all right."
A rainy night in Georgia,
a rainy night in Georgia
It seems like it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
Neon signs a-flashin',
Taxi cabs and buses passin' through the night
A distant moanin' of a train seems to play a sad refrain
To the night
A rainy night in Georgia,
such a rainy night in Georgia
Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
How many times I wondered
It still comes out the same
No matter how you look at it or think of it
It's life and you just got to play the game
I find me a place in a box car,
so I take my guitar to pass some time
Late at night when it's hard to rest
I hold your picture to my chest and I feel fine
But it's a rainy night in Georgia,
baby, it's a rainy night in Georgia
I feel it's rainin' all over the world, kinda lonely now
And it's rainin' all over the world...
The song brought back a sharp memory of how just 2?3? years ago I used to play this CD while lying on my bed, waiting for sleep. I haven't done that for a while. Nowadays I either fall asleep on my sofa or stumble into bed, too tired to care. These days my head is filled with so many thoughts (mostly frivolous), I'm a bit tired of the mental chatter going on up there. A thought chases upon the tail of another thought that I'm barely done with; I'm like a whirlwind of words.
I walked home tonight - yet another thing I haven't done for a while - and bought a beer on the way. It's a slightly chilly night (for Singapore). I'll have class early tomorrow.
Suddenly I feel incredibly tired. I think I'll take a hiatus from blogging. 'scuse me while I disappear. Just for a while.
But this was on my MP3 tonight:
Rainy Night in Georgia
Brook Benton
Hoverin' by my suitcase,
Tryin' to find a warm place to spend the night
Heavy rain fallin', seems I hear your voice callin'
"It's all right."
A rainy night in Georgia,
a rainy night in Georgia
It seems like it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
Neon signs a-flashin',
Taxi cabs and buses passin' through the night
A distant moanin' of a train seems to play a sad refrain
To the night
A rainy night in Georgia,
such a rainy night in Georgia
Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
How many times I wondered
It still comes out the same
No matter how you look at it or think of it
It's life and you just got to play the game
I find me a place in a box car,
so I take my guitar to pass some time
Late at night when it's hard to rest
I hold your picture to my chest and I feel fine
But it's a rainy night in Georgia,
baby, it's a rainy night in Georgia
I feel it's rainin' all over the world, kinda lonely now
And it's rainin' all over the world...
The song brought back a sharp memory of how just 2?3? years ago I used to play this CD while lying on my bed, waiting for sleep. I haven't done that for a while. Nowadays I either fall asleep on my sofa or stumble into bed, too tired to care. These days my head is filled with so many thoughts (mostly frivolous), I'm a bit tired of the mental chatter going on up there. A thought chases upon the tail of another thought that I'm barely done with; I'm like a whirlwind of words.
I walked home tonight - yet another thing I haven't done for a while - and bought a beer on the way. It's a slightly chilly night (for Singapore). I'll have class early tomorrow.
Suddenly I feel incredibly tired. I think I'll take a hiatus from blogging. 'scuse me while I disappear. Just for a while.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Recovering from religion
I stumbled across this very interesting site - Islam Watch: Telling the Truth about Islam. It seems it is a site by ex-Muslims who have become disillusioned with Islam, and are now claiming that it is a false religion.
A few disclaimers first, just in case there're any online vigilantes who might love to get me into trouble. This is Singapore after all, and multi-racial, religious tolerance etc etc... First, I know next to nothing about religion, and therefore I do not pretend to make any authoritative statements about any religion. Second, I don't endorse the opinions expressed on the site hyperlinked above. In fact, I'm highly suspicious of the credentials of the site. I randomly clicked a link on the page, and was brought to a poorly written piece by Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America. Okay... Needless to say the article was almost entirely about us good Americans needing to carry guns to defend ourselves against these crazy jihadists who could appear anywhere, anytime.
Nevertheless, I'm not slamming the entire site just yet, because I don't really have time to explore the site thoroughly right now.
But Islam Watch reminded me of Recovering Christians, another site I used to frequent. It seems as if every religion has its share of rebels. However, Recovering Christians seems a lot more moderate, and publishes contributions from Christians. The entries there are also less driven by current events (unlike Islam Watch, which is overly preoccupied with terrorism issues & Iraq), and thus comes across as more reflective and introspective. Also, there seems to be more of a debate on Recovering Christians. Islam Watch's shout of 'turn away from this false religion!' however, is practically deafening, and much less palatable.
A few disclaimers first, just in case there're any online vigilantes who might love to get me into trouble. This is Singapore after all, and multi-racial, religious tolerance etc etc... First, I know next to nothing about religion, and therefore I do not pretend to make any authoritative statements about any religion. Second, I don't endorse the opinions expressed on the site hyperlinked above. In fact, I'm highly suspicious of the credentials of the site. I randomly clicked a link on the page, and was brought to a poorly written piece by Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America. Okay... Needless to say the article was almost entirely about us good Americans needing to carry guns to defend ourselves against these crazy jihadists who could appear anywhere, anytime.
Nevertheless, I'm not slamming the entire site just yet, because I don't really have time to explore the site thoroughly right now.
But Islam Watch reminded me of Recovering Christians, another site I used to frequent. It seems as if every religion has its share of rebels. However, Recovering Christians seems a lot more moderate, and publishes contributions from Christians. The entries there are also less driven by current events (unlike Islam Watch, which is overly preoccupied with terrorism issues & Iraq), and thus comes across as more reflective and introspective. Also, there seems to be more of a debate on Recovering Christians. Islam Watch's shout of 'turn away from this false religion!' however, is practically deafening, and much less palatable.
Woman, fall not in love
I know it's bad form to gush about your relationship online, but since this is a sort of irritable, anti-gushing complaint, I'll make an exception.
I don't know what it is about relationships that turn otherwise sane, rational, normal, grown-up (ok I know that blogthings quiz said my real age is 15) women into psychotic, dependent, neurotic, paranoid lunatics.
I was in a horrendous mood today, the kind of mood that turns me into a cross between rabid dog and frazzled, paper-pushing bureaucrat - constantly furious, likely to bite, obsessed with details and prone to bossing people around. Then just because LSB did the smallest of things, I was suddenly insanely happy, and all was fine with the world.
I won't even say what it was because it's really too embarrassing to admit that something that silly could stop me in my frothing, raging tracks. Not even on this blog, which has become the biggest liability to my good reputation. (oh wait, I am the biggest liability to my good reputation.)
And then there're these other times where his disproportionate influence over me sends me reeling in the other way, and storm clouds gather, the ground shakes, rain pours, and I'm all melodramatic tragedy, and my life is an amalgamation of the best korean soaps.
I just don't know what men do to women. It's crazy, you know. It's like he's the wind and I'm the windvane. He's the temperature and I'm the thermometer.
... ok, I'd better stop here now. *embarrassed* You can guess what kind of love poems I'd come up with.
You have no idea how frustrating this is. Is it just me? Am I unschooled in the art of boyfriend management? Is there a training school I can send him to? Or is there some code of conduct that he needs to adhere to in order to maintain a healthy, normal girlfriend? Should I just kick him until he stops messing with my mind?
I don't know what it is about relationships that turn otherwise sane, rational, normal, grown-up (ok I know that blogthings quiz said my real age is 15) women into psychotic, dependent, neurotic, paranoid lunatics.
I was in a horrendous mood today, the kind of mood that turns me into a cross between rabid dog and frazzled, paper-pushing bureaucrat - constantly furious, likely to bite, obsessed with details and prone to bossing people around. Then just because LSB did the smallest of things, I was suddenly insanely happy, and all was fine with the world.
I won't even say what it was because it's really too embarrassing to admit that something that silly could stop me in my frothing, raging tracks. Not even on this blog, which has become the biggest liability to my good reputation. (oh wait, I am the biggest liability to my good reputation.)
And then there're these other times where his disproportionate influence over me sends me reeling in the other way, and storm clouds gather, the ground shakes, rain pours, and I'm all melodramatic tragedy, and my life is an amalgamation of the best korean soaps.
I just don't know what men do to women. It's crazy, you know. It's like he's the wind and I'm the windvane. He's the temperature and I'm the thermometer.
... ok, I'd better stop here now. *embarrassed* You can guess what kind of love poems I'd come up with.
You have no idea how frustrating this is. Is it just me? Am I unschooled in the art of boyfriend management? Is there a training school I can send him to? Or is there some code of conduct that he needs to adhere to in order to maintain a healthy, normal girlfriend? Should I just kick him until he stops messing with my mind?
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Violin
Just finished watching a documentary, The Art of the Violin.
I started the violin unforgiveably late (I shall always blame my parents for forcing me to take up the piano instead of the violin), when I was 19. I remember when I first started, I was a voracious learner. For about a year, I wanted to learn everything straightaway - shifting, double-stops, vibrato... everything. I borrowed books on the history of the violin, playing techniques, music theory, all of which I've forgotten, because I've got a horrendous memory.
But even during this period, when I was the most fascinated by this instrument that was so different from the piano, I practised a maximum of twice a week. Because that's the kind of student I am. I hate practising, and I get deathly bored if I have to spend too much time on one thing. Some might call it lazy, but I prefer 'easily bored'.
Which is why I'm half-convinced I'll never survive a PhD, even though the idea of studying still appeals to me. But let's leave that bit of angst for another time.
I'll never be any good at the violin, but that's precisely why I feel like going out and buying a stack of cds right now. Because I know I'll never be able to produce that kind of music, the only way I can own that sound is to buy it.
I started the violin unforgiveably late (I shall always blame my parents for forcing me to take up the piano instead of the violin), when I was 19. I remember when I first started, I was a voracious learner. For about a year, I wanted to learn everything straightaway - shifting, double-stops, vibrato... everything. I borrowed books on the history of the violin, playing techniques, music theory, all of which I've forgotten, because I've got a horrendous memory.
But even during this period, when I was the most fascinated by this instrument that was so different from the piano, I practised a maximum of twice a week. Because that's the kind of student I am. I hate practising, and I get deathly bored if I have to spend too much time on one thing. Some might call it lazy, but I prefer 'easily bored'.
Which is why I'm half-convinced I'll never survive a PhD, even though the idea of studying still appeals to me. But let's leave that bit of angst for another time.
I'll never be any good at the violin, but that's precisely why I feel like going out and buying a stack of cds right now. Because I know I'll never be able to produce that kind of music, the only way I can own that sound is to buy it.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Efficiency
I wrote a long email to my supervisor yesterday afternoon, with my draft attached. He replied today at about 5pm. He'd read through my entire draft AND my email, AND gave me a pretty detailed rundown of what he thought.
The efficiency just boggles my mind. I'm the most inefficient person I know. I ALWAYS procrastinate. Always. I just don't understand efficiency. I seldom miss deadlines, but I never finish my work before the deadline either. I'm dazzled by my supervisor's efficiency. He's such a wonderful supervisor! I'm so excited about efficiency!
Even though I've received a ton of essays to mark, I haven't touched a single one. And I've had them for weeks! My supervisor would have finished marking them a long time ago. Shame on me!
The efficiency just boggles my mind. I'm the most inefficient person I know. I ALWAYS procrastinate. Always. I just don't understand efficiency. I seldom miss deadlines, but I never finish my work before the deadline either. I'm dazzled by my supervisor's efficiency. He's such a wonderful supervisor! I'm so excited about efficiency!
Even though I've received a ton of essays to mark, I haven't touched a single one. And I've had them for weeks! My supervisor would have finished marking them a long time ago. Shame on me!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Once newly dead
Amara Tochi to be Hung at Dawn
I've only just read this blog entry dated 25 Jan 2007, and hence did not know about this case until more than a month after the event. So this guy's probably been dead more than a month already. I don't even have to search for updates on the case to know this because if Singapore decides on the death sentence, no pleas or appeals of any sort could make any difference.
Just for the record, I don't approve of the death penalty, and I feel inexplicably guilty that I did not know about this death till long after the event.
And why am I surfing the net when I've got 4000 (ok, now 3500) words more to go by 5pm today? I don't know really. I'm starting to feel bored with my course of study and beginning to think my interests lie somewhere else. (and this is not just dissertation angst speaking) This is, of course, disastrous.
But you know, academic woes somehow pale in comparison to larger troubling issues like the state's willingness to kill without convincing proof of guilt.
Yet this particular case more than others caught my attention, for a simple reason: Amara Tochi was sentenced to death for drug trafficking. Yet he might not have even known that he possessed drugs on his person.
In fact, Justice Kan noted in his findings that "there was no direct evidence that he knew the capsules contained diamorphine. There was nothing to suggest that Smith had told him they contained diamorphine, or that he had found that out on his own".
That leads us to a troublesome and haunting question: can you be sentenced to death for drug trafficking without even knowing you were in possession of drugs?
I've only just read this blog entry dated 25 Jan 2007, and hence did not know about this case until more than a month after the event. So this guy's probably been dead more than a month already. I don't even have to search for updates on the case to know this because if Singapore decides on the death sentence, no pleas or appeals of any sort could make any difference.
Just for the record, I don't approve of the death penalty, and I feel inexplicably guilty that I did not know about this death till long after the event.
And why am I surfing the net when I've got 4000 (ok, now 3500) words more to go by 5pm today? I don't know really. I'm starting to feel bored with my course of study and beginning to think my interests lie somewhere else. (and this is not just dissertation angst speaking) This is, of course, disastrous.
But you know, academic woes somehow pale in comparison to larger troubling issues like the state's willingness to kill without convincing proof of guilt.
scrubs - guy love
It's guy love, between two guys! *chortles*
Thanks Joyce for the link!
4000 words more by 5pm!
Letter to a reptile
Dear baby lizard,
I know you're hopelessly in love with either 1. my Doritos (a yucky taco flavour), 2. my beautiful human self, or 3. the heat from my laptop. You might also feel attracted to the pile of notes on my table, but I think that's highly unlikely. You're not silverfish after all, and silverfish are probably the only creatures who might like my very boring notes.
However, please stop trying to sneak up on me/my Doritos/my laptop. It freaks me out a bit, because as much as I think baby lizard feet are terribly cute, I don't fancy the thought of accidentally squashing you or munching a mouthful of Doritos-flavoured lizard. It's a really bad time now, you know. I have to hand in the first draft of my dissertation by 5pm tomorrow, and I'm only at 5000 words. So if you come any closer to me, I swear I'll scream and wake my daddy up so he can get rid of you. Be good! And no tail-dropping please!
Regards,
Elaine
I know you're hopelessly in love with either 1. my Doritos (a yucky taco flavour), 2. my beautiful human self, or 3. the heat from my laptop. You might also feel attracted to the pile of notes on my table, but I think that's highly unlikely. You're not silverfish after all, and silverfish are probably the only creatures who might like my very boring notes.
However, please stop trying to sneak up on me/my Doritos/my laptop. It freaks me out a bit, because as much as I think baby lizard feet are terribly cute, I don't fancy the thought of accidentally squashing you or munching a mouthful of Doritos-flavoured lizard. It's a really bad time now, you know. I have to hand in the first draft of my dissertation by 5pm tomorrow, and I'm only at 5000 words. So if you come any closer to me, I swear I'll scream and wake my daddy up so he can get rid of you. Be good! And no tail-dropping please!
Regards,
Elaine
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Break from thesis
Ok, I'll just take a small small break here. *swears to self she won't take anymore 4hr naps (like this afternoon) or watch 3hrs of tv (like this evening)*
I can't help comparing this thesis experience with my previous thesis experience. I'm actually much more relaxed this time. (though I'd better not jump to conclusions till tomorrow)
Perhaps it's because of yet another raise in stress threshold.
Perhaps it's because this time I Actually Consulted My Thesis Supervisor And He Knows What I'm Going To Write About. (at least in general)
Perhaps it's because I no longer feel as if I owe it to the whole world to do well.
Perhaps it's because they make us hand in a first draft before the final deadline.
Anywayz. The last time I spent about 5 days doing the really relevant research, and about 2.5days writing. This time I've hardly done any research, but I'm making up for it by starting to write 3 days before the deadline. So hopefully it should work out fine. (I'm now at 1350/10000 words, and the bloody thesis is due this Thurs. Well, at least the 1st draft.)
*yawnz* darn I'm sleepy. Too bloody relaxed... Help! I'm in such deep shit!
Ok ok that's it. I should go back to work. (I wasted another hour slacking! Can you believe that?)
I can't help comparing this thesis experience with my previous thesis experience. I'm actually much more relaxed this time. (though I'd better not jump to conclusions till tomorrow)
Perhaps it's because of yet another raise in stress threshold.
Perhaps it's because this time I Actually Consulted My Thesis Supervisor And He Knows What I'm Going To Write About. (at least in general)
Perhaps it's because I no longer feel as if I owe it to the whole world to do well.
Perhaps it's because they make us hand in a first draft before the final deadline.
Anywayz. The last time I spent about 5 days doing the really relevant research, and about 2.5days writing. This time I've hardly done any research, but I'm making up for it by starting to write 3 days before the deadline. So hopefully it should work out fine. (I'm now at 1350/10000 words, and the bloody thesis is due this Thurs. Well, at least the 1st draft.)
*yawnz* darn I'm sleepy. Too bloody relaxed... Help! I'm in such deep shit!
Ok ok that's it. I should go back to work. (I wasted another hour slacking! Can you believe that?)
Monday, March 05, 2007
Faces of Italy
One of my favourite photo blogs:
Faces of Italy
and so on. If you want to see the faces behind these dreams, click on above link. :)
Faces of Italy
This is Vespucci.
Vespucci’s dream is to find his son and tell him important things. He twists his head quickly at me with a lost and quizzical look, and then he returns to a thoughtful gaze.
Vespucci is currently homeless and cannot remember where his son is
This is Skye.Skye’s dream, she says with a stalwart demeanor, is to be a successful dermatologist.
Skye is currently modeling in Milan during summer break from medical school.
and so on. If you want to see the faces behind these dreams, click on above link. :)
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Nora, The Piano-Playing Cat (www.ravenswingstudio.com)
This cat has more talent in its tail than I would have in my entire life! (How else did it make it so big?)
Friday, March 02, 2007
History and History
Abe Rejects Japan’s Files on War Sex
TOKYO, March 1 — Prime Minister Shinzo Abe denied Thursday that Japan’s military had forced foreign women into sexual slavery during World War II, contradicting the Japanese government’s longtime official position.
Oops. I can't imagine many people being happy about that.
Now I have to write my dissertation by next Thurs.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Current Music Obsession: The Red Violin
I'm re-listening to The Red Violin soundtrack, and my brain short-circuited again. I spent most of last night feverishly reading reviews of the film and soundtrack, the obvious thing to do when I have a paper this Friday.
I'm not particularly impressed by the film, but the soundtrack... *smoke rises from fried brain*
It's an original score! And a very good one at that! Joshua Bell played it! It's beeeeoooootifffuuuuullllll!
It's really a bad idea to be listening to the soundtrack now, because I can't concentrate on anything else (read: revision for the paper). And the regular fits I get while listening to the soundtrack make me very tired... It's tiring to remain ecstatic for hours on end. Talk about blowing my mind.
I need something brainless... M-Pop, here I come!
I'm not particularly impressed by the film, but the soundtrack... *smoke rises from fried brain*
It's an original score! And a very good one at that! Joshua Bell played it! It's beeeeoooootifffuuuuullllll!
It's really a bad idea to be listening to the soundtrack now, because I can't concentrate on anything else (read: revision for the paper). And the regular fits I get while listening to the soundtrack make me very tired... It's tiring to remain ecstatic for hours on end. Talk about blowing my mind.
I need something brainless... M-Pop, here I come!
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